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mall while he’s eating a bean burrito and wearing short<br />
shorts. It’s all wrong, and once you see it, you can never<br />
unsee it.<br />
“Richard left me a month ago.” Aunt Marty weeps.<br />
“He’s been seeing another woman for a year and a half. And<br />
she’s older than I am! He actually told me that she understands<br />
him. Can you believe it? I mean, how clichéd is that?”<br />
My eyes open wide. “But I saw the way he looked at<br />
you!”<br />
“He now looks at someone else that way,” she says<br />
through her tears.<br />
Celeste, I notice, is still patting Aunt Marty’s shoulder.<br />
“I’m a total fraud,” Aunt Marty says through her tears.<br />
“All I can do is spout platitudes that my editor writes for<br />
me.”<br />
“You’re not spouting plati . . . whatevers,” Frankie says,<br />
reaching past me to pat Aunt Marty’s other shoulder.<br />
“Platitudes,” she blubbers. “Stupid, meaningless sayings.”<br />
I gulp. “You mean, men don’t live to make us happy?”<br />
Not to be heartless, but the last thing I need to hear is<br />
that my man expert is having man trouble. I’m not proud of<br />
this, but I find myself wondering if the “Perry Plan” will fall<br />
to pieces if “Martine on Men” really doesn’t know men.<br />
Like I said, I’m not proud of it.<br />
Aunt Marty sniffs. Truthfully, it doesn’t help much. I<br />
rummage through my backpack for a tissue.<br />
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