Download the Book - Islam and Science Fiction
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eye wheels, encompassing fragmented images of childhood, phosphorescent<br />
flares like <strong>the</strong> explosive firings of neurons, an assortment of sense memories<br />
accumulated during <strong>the</strong> past few hours, a kaleidoscopic succession of what<br />
look to be magazine photographs, most relating to a museum display of<br />
Egyptian artifacts, <strong>the</strong>se <strong>and</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r categories of things remembered all<br />
jumbled toge<strong>the</strong>r, as if overloaded files are spilling <strong>the</strong>ir contents <strong>and</strong><br />
causing short circuits. The insides of his eyes itch, he can't swallow, his<br />
heart slams, <strong>and</strong> his vision has gone faintly orange. But soon <strong>the</strong> flurry <strong>and</strong><br />
discomfort settle, <strong>and</strong> it's as if he's been fine-tuned, as if a bullet-smooth<br />
burnished cylinder has been slotted into place inside his twitchy self, a<br />
stabilizing presence, <strong>and</strong> he begins, for <strong>the</strong> first time, to have a grasp on <strong>the</strong><br />
situation, to not merely react to its hopelessness, to accept it, <strong>and</strong>, by<br />
accepting it, by announcing it calmly to himself, stating its parameters, he<br />
comes to believe that all is not lost. They are in hell, maybe with a patch or<br />
two of heaven mixed in, <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong>y cannot contact comm<strong>and</strong>. As with any<br />
battlefield, <strong>the</strong> situation is fluid, <strong>and</strong>, as has been <strong>the</strong> case with o<strong>the</strong>r<br />
battlefields, <strong>the</strong>y can't trust <strong>the</strong>ir instrumentation. He's been here before. Not<br />
in so daunting a circumstance, perhaps, not on a field that—as this one<br />
seems to—was fluid to <strong>the</strong> point that it actually changed shape. But<br />
essentially <strong>the</strong>y're in <strong>the</strong> same position <strong>the</strong>y were in during o<strong>the</strong>r covert<br />
actions, conflicts that never made <strong>the</strong> news back home. Recognizing this<br />
gives him hope. If your situation is fluid, you have to become fluid. You<br />
have to underst<strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong> unique laws of <strong>the</strong> place <strong>and</strong> moment <strong>and</strong> let <strong>the</strong>m<br />
dictate <strong>the</strong> course of your survival. He switches off his instruments. He no<br />
longer wants to see things as digital cartoons or confuse <strong>the</strong> issue with<br />
readings that can't be trusted. They're on <strong>the</strong> right path, he thinks. Going<br />
forward. GRob nailed it. Going forward is who <strong>the</strong>y are.<br />
As <strong>the</strong>y walk through <strong>the</strong> flowers, GRob asks him about Colorado,<br />
where he went to school, did he have a girlfriend, <strong>and</strong> all like that. By this,<br />
he realizes how scared she is. She's never been much of a talker, just a mad<br />
fucking soldier like Perdue … <strong>and</strong> maybe, he thinks, that's at <strong>the</strong> heart of her<br />
fear. GRob <strong>and</strong> Perdue were tighter than he <strong>and</strong> Baxter. They went on leave<br />
toge<strong>the</strong>r, <strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong>re's no doubt <strong>the</strong>y were lovers, though Wilson knows GRob<br />
had an eye for guys. Plenty of times he caught her checking him out. But<br />
GRob <strong>and</strong> Perdue were a unit, <strong>the</strong>y neutralized each o<strong>the</strong>r's fear <strong>and</strong> now<br />
Perdue's gone, GRob's unsure of herself. In context of this, he wonders why<br />
he's not more unsure of himself now that Baxter's gone. He doesn't believe<br />
it's just that IQ is insulating him from fear, <strong>and</strong> he's coming to accept that he<br />
<strong>and</strong> Baxter didn't have anywhere near as strong a bond as GRob <strong>and</strong> Perdue.<br />
What purpose <strong>the</strong>y served for one ano<strong>the</strong>r is unclear. Yet even as he thinks<br />
this, he suspects that he does underst<strong>and</strong> <strong>the</strong>ir relationship, that <strong>the</strong>y weren't<br />
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