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goal: peer approval. I was ready to destroy <strong>the</strong> world for a pat on <strong>the</strong><br />
back.<br />
Among <strong>the</strong> warnings most often repeated in <strong>the</strong> Koran is <strong>the</strong><br />
admonition not to sell your soul for a little price.<br />
Oh, I am repentant enough now. But religious scholars say<br />
deathbed conversions are unlikely to make up for a lifetime of<br />
hideous wrongs. God is All-Powerful. He can forgive whomever He<br />
chooses. He could certainly forgive me. I doubt He will. I say<br />
without reservation that if I were God I would condemn one such as<br />
myself to <strong>the</strong> lowest level of Gehenna. Had I been deemed worthy of<br />
saving, surely He would have changed my course, as He no doubt did<br />
for Zeid.<br />
I do not expect to save myself from eternal damnation by making<br />
this confession, but perhaps <strong>the</strong> fires of Hell will be just a few degrees<br />
cooler for me. Certainly, compounded over eternity, that would<br />
amount to a sizeable savings.<br />
I will also draw a scant bit of comfort in knowing that a specially<br />
constructed <strong>and</strong> especially horrible place, in a realm of unimaginable<br />
agony, awaits <strong>the</strong> one who now calls himself "Mahdi." It is not for a<br />
prophet to be fraudulent. He was warned in <strong>the</strong> Koran that pretending<br />
to write its like assures him no better a fate. Apart from that, he was<br />
prepared to destroy one of God's gr<strong>and</strong>er works, <strong>and</strong> with it <strong>the</strong> true<br />
followers of <strong>the</strong> Faith. We are warned that Hell is guaranteed for one<br />
who willfully slays a believer.<br />
And so I also welcome <strong>the</strong> delay in my sentencing because I now<br />
fear what comes after death as never before. If I could make amends,<br />
undo <strong>the</strong> wrongs I have done, <strong>and</strong> thus escape eternal torment, by<br />
dying, I would do so gladly. But such are my crimes that <strong>the</strong>re is<br />
hardly anything meaningful I can offer but my warnings.<br />
While on <strong>the</strong> subject, let me say I have followed with some<br />
amusement <strong>the</strong> argument that divides you now, on whe<strong>the</strong>r you should<br />
impose <strong>the</strong> penalty of capital punishment. Of course you should. I<br />
should be hung, drawn, <strong>and</strong> quartered. I should be boiled in oil. I<br />
should be burned at <strong>the</strong> stake. Simultaneously, if at all possible. It is<br />
nothing compared to what awaits me afterwards. When I go, you can<br />
expect that it will be kicking <strong>and</strong> screaming. You may put it off as<br />
long as possible, if you please.<br />
To my wayward comrades, I implore you to mend your ways.<br />
Should any of you be considering ano<strong>the</strong>r such foolish act of piracy,<br />
forget it. One way or ano<strong>the</strong>r, you will certainly fail. Open your eyes,<br />
<strong>and</strong> find <strong>the</strong> Path, plain as day to those who will look.<br />
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