TELL May - July 2012 - Emanuel Synagogue

Rabbi Ninio
A Gratitude Movement
As I sit to write this article
the strains of Dayenu are
still ringing in my ears. I
celebrated four sedarim
and at each one we all
sang a rousing chorus of
“dayenu: it would have been
enough.” But how many of
us live our lives that way,
thinking, “it would have
been enough?” How many
of us recognise the blessings in our lives and appreciate
what we have? When do we say, “it is enough?” For the
people who joined me at any of the sedarim this year, I
asked them to participate in a moment of thanksgiving. I
asked everyone to think about something in their life for
which they were grateful. Unfortunately in our world, I
do not think that we do this often enough, to stop and
realize the incredible blessings in our lives, to, for just
a moment, shift from looking at what is wrong, and
consider what is right.
I recently read an article which quoted research saying
that we spend, on average, 45 minutes a week on
regret. We beat ourselves up and chastise ourselves
over things we did not do or things we did do. We look
for the negatives and then dwell upon them. The top
ten regrets included not saving enough money, not
working harder at school, not exercising enough, not
appreciating elderly relatives before they died, all very
human, very real circumstances. (Mamamia March 6 th
2012) And how can we be blamed for thinking this way?
Advertising and media constantly remind us of what we
don’t have, what we are missing, the ways we should
change our lives and that message filters through to us
by way of regret, we wish we had done things differently,
had more, achieved more, that if we did, life may have
turned out another way. But what if, instead of giving us
the negative message, we were given the positive one?
We were called upon to stop and recognise the blessings
in our lives, the moments for which we are grateful, to
see the good and then invited to share our thanksgiving
and gratitude with those around us? We can spend too
much time lamenting what we don’t have and perhaps
not enough recognising the beautiful blessings, the gifts.
And they do not have to be huge moments, in fact, it is
perhaps the smaller ones which are sometimes the most
significant.
I was sent a YouTube video which opens with a man
sitting on a piece of cardboard with a sign which reads “I
am blind, please help.” The video pans away and we see
people enjoying the day, some look at his sign and walk
by, a few drop a coin or two into his tin.
www.emanuel.org.au
Then a young woman comes along and changes
the sign. After this we see many more people stopping
and placing money in his tin. The camera focuses again
on the sign, it now reads, “it’s a beautiful day and I can’t
see it.” Changing the sign caused people to stop and
consider the blessing of being able to see a beautiful day.
I have been reading about a new movement called the
gratitude movement. They did a piece of research and
asked a few hundred people to keep a diary. One group
were asked to record what happened to them every
day, another was asked to record only the negative
experiences of their day, and the third group, to write
about the things for which they were grateful in their day.
Of the three groups, the one who wrote about gratitude
were more alert, enthusiastic, optimistic, determined
and energised. They had lower levels of stress, were
more likely to exercise regularly and help others.
“At the core of Judaism is gratitude”
One of the founders of the gratitude movement claims
that acknowledging blessings, appreciating the goodness
in your life can lead to a stronger immune system and
better relationships. But he cautions: “(it is) not to say
that everything in our lives is necessarily great but it
means that we are aware of our blessings.” And that is
the key. Life is difficult, we all face challenges, struggles,
disappointments, times of pain, suffering, loneliness and
sadness, and being grateful does not ask that we negate
those feelings, that we try and pretend that times of
struggle are not happening, but rather, it challenges us
to focus, just for a few minutes every day, on something
which is positive in our lives. Sometimes that will be
easy, other times it will be difficult, but just redirecting
our thoughts, to be aware of our blessings, even in the
midst of our struggle and pain, is incredibly powerful.
Judaism is a gratitude movement. Although we joke
that it is about suffering and guilt, in fact, at its core, is
gratitude. There are so many opportunities built into our
prayer services and the rhythm of Jewish life when we are
encouraged to find and acknowledge our blessings. The
daily prayer service, the bed-time shema, the Shabbat,
all moments when we are called upon to focus on the
goodness, to pause and be grateful. Judaism realises the
importance for each of us, spiritually and psychologically,
to see the positive in our situations, to really count our
blessings.
I will never forget an Oprah show I watched many years
ago. Her guest was a single father whose wife had died.
He had two children, both with severe intellectual and
physical disabilities.
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