Issue 22 - July 2012 (PDF) - Chipping Norton Times

OUR FIRST SHORT STORY COMPETITION : Two Runners-Up
Having published our winning short story last month, we are pleased to share the short stories from both our Runners Up this
month, with comments from Rona Laycock MA, PhD, our judge and a published short story writer and poet
From Rona Laycock: “I would like to thank everyone who entered the competton and for giving me the opportunity to read their
work. Anyone who has tried to write a short story will understand how difficult it is to hit the right note. James Joyce called his
stories ‘epiphanies’, which is the right word for that moment of understanding that a good short story can bring.
A Blissful Farewell appealed to me because of its strong evocaton of place. Anyone who knows the area and Bliss Mill in
partcular will understand why Jack chooses to risk life and limb to dispose of his grandfather’s ashes in such an unusual place.
A Place in the Heart also looked at how an event in the past, in this case an affair between an American GI and a local girl,
has repercussions. Told mostly in the form of a dialogue between two men, this story slowly revealed a tragic event and the change
of atmosphere at the end was very well handled.
8
“Buttercups and daises spread their colourful
blanket over the sleeping folds of the valley and, rising
from the depths, emerged a distinguished ageing monster,
with its high majestic chimney and multitude of eyes
staring out over the town above. Jack sauntered towards
the old mill, his thoughts clouded by memories of long
ago, when this building represented the heartbeat of his
small hometown, known locally as "Chippy". The haunting
hooter no longer called townsfolk to their toil and that
imposing chimney, once sending comforting clouds of
smoke up to the heights of heaven and out into eternity,
breathed no more.
Today, as light began to peep shyly over the
horizon, Jack had an important job to do. For the whole of
his working life, his grandfather Seth had been responsible
for building maintenance at Bliss Tweed Mill. He had
scaled the heights of its commanding chimney on several
occasions and was renowned for his courageous
endeavours. With no safety harness in those days, just
the possession of bold, or possibly foolhardy, pride he had
often spoken of the overwhelming satisfaction of the feat
and the significance of this place in his heart.
Last week, on 1st June 1987, at the magnificent
age of ninety nine, old Seth had drawn his final breath
and, battling with deep sorrow in his loss, Jack's thoughts
turned to the pact he and his grandfather had conspired
to construct. There was no doubt his mission must be
fulfilled but how to execute it was a challenge beyond
belief. What promised to be an ordinary summer's day,
was about to become the most memorable of Jack's life.
Waiting patiently for renovation and conversion
into luxury flats, the grand old mill stood as proud as ever,
although its eyes were dimmed and its heart had faltered.
A whispering breeze seemed to summon support as a
solitary white dove, perching on a branch nearby,
appeared to utter a consoling coo of consent. With a
miraculous rush of valour, Jack began to climb the narrow
rungs of the chimney ladder, heeding his grandfather's
advice never to look back and to focus persistently on his
task. As he reached the central point, he paused to readjust
the pack he carried on his back. Ringing in his ears
A Blissful Farewell : by Pauline Nolan
were the wise words "don't look down" but one simple
glance was a temptation too great.
"Whoah!" he screamed, as every inch of his body
shook and his head felt like it was spinning out of control.
With all the power he could muster, Jack clung to the bars
of his only salvation and with his eyes firmly closed, he
took long, deep breaths in an attempt to regain
composure. For several fearful moments he remained
frozen in a state of limbo, mindful of the danger he faced.
All he could think of was, not the fear of falling, but the
fear of failing, knowing how much this meant to his
precious grandfather. As a single ray of golden light
pierced his body, he spotted the reassuring image of a
ghost-like bird hovering above his head and, seized by a
sudden surge of strength, continued his upward journey
with renewed vigour.
Nearing the summit and gasping for breath, Jack
surveyed the vast treasures of nature that surrounded him
in panoramic splendour, juxtaposed with arguable beauty
of architecture old and new that housed the very soul of
his slumbering town. Unhooking his back-pack and
removing the box within, he said a little prayer as he
disposed of its contents in the gaping mouth of the
chimney. Suddenly the sky erupted with the full glory of a
new dawn and Jack's heart almost burst with pride. His
grandfather was right, this was such a unique feeling,
made even more special by the promise he had fulfilled.
Knowing old Seth's ashes were finally laid to rest in his
beloved chimney made the downward journey a time for
solemn reflection, as he become one with the spirit of his
hero.
Once on solid ground, Jack wandered back over
the common with a contented glow and, as he turned to
wave a final farewell, joyous puffs of white smoke
emerged from the chimney, gently kissing the atmosphere
as they ascended. Then, in an act of glorious love, every
murky window sparkled as bursts of sunlight opened their
eyes to the world. A lone dove cooed in harmony with
morning's sweet chorus and the hearts of both Jack and
Seth began to sing again! “