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Football, Improved<br />
Nobody seems willing to state the obvious, so<br />
I guess that responsibility falls to me. As usual.<br />
Football has peaked. The only direction left to go<br />
is down.<br />
There.<br />
I said it.<br />
Now, I realize that there are proponents of<br />
conventional wisdom-- wisdom that posits this:<br />
“Football is<br />
thriving. It is the<br />
most watched,<br />
most lucrative,<br />
<br />
smartest of the<br />
four sports, and<br />
its audience is<br />
beginning to grow<br />
internationally.”<br />
And these<br />
proponents are<br />
correct. Football<br />
is certainly the<br />
biggest American<br />
sport. The NFL is,<br />
without a doubt,<br />
the dominant<br />
big league in<br />
the nation. But<br />
football has<br />
begun to rest on<br />
its laurels. It has<br />
gotten content.<br />
Lazy. Complacent. Football, continually touted<br />
as the most liberal and progressive of American<br />
sports, the NFL, the socialistic league that brought<br />
<br />
sporting organization technologically progressive<br />
enough to entrust an entire season’s outcome to<br />
<br />
by Keaton Lamle<br />
misunderstand the mechanisms of the BCS<br />
computers.) have all become stagnant. And as<br />
Darwin taught, anything that does not change,<br />
dies This is why, in light of the Super Bowl that will<br />
take place this month, I have outlined a few simple<br />
steps (rule changes, etc...) that will carry our most<br />
watchable of sports into the brave new world of<br />
tomorrow.<br />
THE FATHER-SON FIELD GOAL RULE<br />
This improvement is so simple and obvious<br />
that it is truly shocking that it has not already been<br />
implemented into the game. The thinking behind<br />
the rule is as follows: Field goals are too easy.<br />
<strong>OKIE</strong> MAGAZINE www.okiemagazine.com Page 16