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Want To Get Dumped This Valentine’s Day? Buy <strong>The</strong>se Gifts! By Valerie Lalli Sta Writer Valentine’s Day: <strong>The</strong> most romantic, love filled, vomit inducing day of the year and I just adore it! Ha! Okay not so much. However, with that being said, I respect what it stands for. I can appreciate someone wanting to show their affection towards the one person (In some cases more than one… shame on you) who occupies their heart. You show that person how much you care by giving him/her gifts or doing sweet gestures. I especially love the receiving gifts part. Do not judge me. A sweet gesture is nice and all but seriously sweet gestures can be done any day of the year and should be given freely without being prompted by a special occasion. So when a holiday comes around that gift giving is appropriate, I am all for it! If you are a bad gift giver however (You know who you are. <strong>The</strong> ones who gave gift certificates for a hug, fake roses from the dollar store, and the lovely ever popular red cellophane cheap box of chocolates last year), than this could make or break the occasion for your special someone. Nothing will end the romantic night quicker than lingerie that is two sizes too big or small, a CD compilation of your favorite show tunes to your manly man, or an exercise video. So before you wait until the last minute to run and grab your sweetie the one gift that is intended to be an expression of your love from the Just for Giggles store, allow me to give you a few pointers on what is not a great gift idea on this day of love. I know, I know, we are all fantastic gift givers in our own way. I am sure there is someone out there that would totally appreciate a Sex for Dummies book or a gift certificate for an oil change. I am going to go out on a limb here nevertheless, and say more often than not those will not get you laid. More like get you dumped. Girls, if they have not asked for your picture or even if they did a picture of you in a pink frame is not a good gift. Now if you get them a gift that is made of awesome(like season tickets to their favorite sports team, big screen TV, or a trip to the destination of their choice) then sure, go ahead and throw that picture in there with it. But if the gift isn’t that cool or better, the picture is a no-go. <strong>The</strong>re is not a single thing sweet or sexy about the bathroom so try to avoid any and all products that would make you think of one. Just think about it. We all could use some exercise but Valentine’s Day is not the right time to give your sweetie the gift of a gym membership. That is unless of course you liked sleeping alone? <strong>The</strong> guy’s will disagree with me but video games are bad ideas! If you want your guys to spend hours glued to the television or forget that you even exist for days on end then sure. Don’t get all huffy however when you want his attention but can’t get it. That is your own fault. A few quick no-no’s are cheap wine, cleaning supplies, and porn. I shouldn’t have to explain those. If you can avoid these items and just take a little extra time to plan ahead and really put some thought into your gift, you will have a Valentine’s Day or night you will not soon forget. Just remember the number one worst thing you can give is nothing. No matter what she says, if you dismiss the holiday all together, you will be sleeping on the sofa. I, myself, would have you sleeping on the park bench down the street. Go ahead and buy the expensive wine and make reservations at the nice restaurant. Take a shower and shave off that facial hair. Splurge and get the real roses instead of the fake ones from Quick Mart. Order him that Microbrew of the Month Club membership he has been drooling for or give in and let him has his man cave at home. You love them, right? If you have a chance to make your special person happy, do it. Even if all the mushy cards, kissing noises, and stuffed bears have you running for the nearest toilet to stick your head into, one night will not kill you. On the upside at least you will have an entire year to recover from all of the pink horror. Best wishes to all of you searching for the perfect Valentine’s Day gift and here’s hoping no one ends up on the couch…Or the park bench. <strong>OKIE</strong> MAGAZINE www.okiemagazine.com Page 15
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