UNTITLED MONOLOGUE - Columbus County Schools

UNTITLED MONOLOGUE
From a Screenplay
by Kirk Wallace
Copyright by the Author. All Rights Reserved.
[Derrick is speaking. Elizabeth is listening]
DERRICK: It was the shadow of the boy I saw first. His arms hanging down
over his head, the silhouette of his feet aimed up. [Beat] Then,-- I stepped
into the room and saw his dead eyes, open, as if staring, unseeing, down
at the pool of blood that had been drained from his body.
[Beat, trying to sound professional] I looked around the room, made mental
notes of where everything was and then crossed to him and cut him down,
letting this body drop back into a more normal relationship with the ground.
Just because he had died abnormally, didn't mean he had to sustain it in death.
As we looked around the shack, most of the others got sick at what they saw.
But it was the smell that got me. It wasn't that usual odor of death you find
in scenes like this. That bloody mixture of excrement and sweat strained out
of the contraction of agonized muscle. This was different. It was more acrid.
Caustic. Like acid. But, worse of all, it's stench made me...afraid. [Looks at her]
You know, always before these horror scenes filled me with rage, a determination
to catch the bastard responsible and put him away.
But this time -- [Looks at her, trying to find the words] This time...I...[Stops, then goes ahead.]
Whatever is out there is more terrifying, more ugly than anything I've ever dealt with.
It seems so grossly inadequate, but the only word I can think of to describe what we're up
against is...evil. We're looking for something inhuman and that scares the hell out of me.
Situation: A rag doll, who has been neglected by her owner Sally, reflects
on her disappointing life in her nursery.
(a doll sits in the middle of a table, with her head down)
Sure, everyone thinks being a doll is fun. (looks at the audience) All of the
other toys say, "why wouldn’t you want to be a rag doll? Little girls adore
you. You would be their favorite toy." Right and what would the other toys
at the store say now about my perfect life? All I do all day is sit up on this
shelf, collecting dust.
It has been a long time since I have been to a tea party. (looks around the
room) It has been such a long time since I have even left this spot. I used to
be Sally’s favorite toy. I remember the first day I arrived home from
Eaton’s department store. My box was wrapped in pretty gold paper, with a
big green bow on the front. "Oh Mommy, oh Daddy, I love it. I going to
play with her for ever and ever and ever and I am going to love her for ever
and ever and ever."
Where are you now Sally? Are you off with your collection of Barbies or
are you watching television? She doesn’t even realize how hard it is for me
to watch her play with her other toys. I just sit here, hour after hour, day

after day, watching. I’m not alone though. Numerous Care Bears have been
stuffed in the closet, her Cabbage Patch Kids collection is over in that
corner (points to right corner), and we can’t forget the Disney Store in the
left corner (looks to the other corner). At least I got a shelf.
Please, don’t get me wrong, when I first arrived in this nursery, everything
was wonderful. That month was the happiest month of my life. Sally would
play with me every day. We would have tea parties, we would read books
together. (sigh) We did everything together. Sally would take me
everywhere. I once got to go to show and tell with her. (pause) I was always
there for her. She could tell me anything, and I wouldn’t tell the other toys.
But, on that cold November day, her Daddy brought home her first Barbie,
and our life together was over.
I never even got a name. All of her other dolls have names. I am just
referred to as "her" or "dolly". Why didn’t she give me a name? Naming a
doll is not the hardest thing to do in the world. It only takes a few seconds
of thought.
Sally will occasionally stop and talk to me. Just last week she picked me up
and brushed my hair. (pause) But I soon returned to my spot. Is this my
destiny? I want to have fun again. I want to play again with a person. I want
someone to love me. I don’t want to spend my life on a shelf, collecting
dust. It doesn’t look like I have a choice, does it?
By: David Rimmer
This scene takes place in Boo's room at school. Boo is sixteen, fast talking
and fidgety.
Boo
Hey...I just remembered this dream I had last night.
I was at this big post party in London, at this really rich house. It was really
high up and there was these big picture windows, you could
see all the river and the lights of the town. I was with this girl-- you know

who it was? Trish.
We were just lookin' out the window--And all these rich little old ladies
started runnin'' around all over the place, all excited, saying' Mick
Jagger's coming, isn't that wonderful, Mick Jagger's coming. They
came up to us and they told us be careful cause the latest thing in
London now was sadism, and Mick was really into it. Then they
flitted away, laughin' and eatin' hors d'oeuvres and stuff, and
everybody was just waitin' for Mick to show up. Finally he did, he
just walked right in, Marianne Faithfull was with him -- she had purple
hair. And this whole crowd of little old ladies swarmed all around
him. They introduced me to him, and he was incredibly scary-
looking, his face, he really made me scared just lookin' at him. He
had lipstick on and make-up and he was dressed like a woman, but it
was more like he really was a woman, a woman and a man at the
same time. All of a sudden he started pullin' my hair really vicious,
and he had these bracelets on that were made outta spikes, they
jabbed into me, I saw drops of blood drippin' off' em like a horror
movie. I screamed or somethin', I just ran away I was so scared. I
ended up in this room away from the party, nobody around, and I
saw this guy sittin' on a couch, just sittin' there by himself, really
quiet, watchin' TV. I sat down and watched the TV for a couple of
minutes, then I turned and looked at the guy...and it was Dylan.

Jerry: Okay, look...
Cockroaches
from Balm in the Gilead
by Lanford Wilson
Dopey: You know, though, what I was thinking what she said; before that, about the cockroach
all upstairs; and she's right. It's a crawling bughouse up there.
What really gripes me; she mentioned all the roaches playing, like, games on the floor up there.
roach's attitude just gripes the hell out of me. But what burns me, I've been reading up not rece
I saw it somewhere where... not only was the roach that same, exact, goddamn roach that we k
not only were they around about two million years before man, you know, before we came along
anthropologists or whatever,
geologists over in Egypt or somewhere, looking for the first city, they dug down through a city, a
straight on down through another, you know, they're piled up like a sandwich or in layers like a s
layer cake. And they cut down, down through one century to the one before it and the one befo
and in every one they found more goddamned cockroaches than anything! And they got to wher
before man ever existed and, like, in the basement of the whole works, there those damn bugs s
were.
So they've been around, like I said, for about a miIlion years before we came along. But not onl
They've made tests, and they found out that a roach can stand --- if there was going to be a big
bomb explosion, they can stand something like fourteen times as much radio-whatever-it-is, you
activity as we can. So after every man, woman and child is wiped out and gone, like you imagin
those same goddamn cockroaches will still be crawling around happy as you please over the ru
everything.
Now the picture of that really gripes my ass!
(HE stops, crosses to the phone and takes
it off the hook)
This is bad news. I really got my tit in a
wringer... uh... I mean... you know... my
nuts in a vise. I do not know who else to go
to.
(paces, stops, paces)

You ever been in a situation like... uh.. like
(suddently inspired) like you are in this little
boat, see. An', uh, your way out in like an
ocean or something and... and your boat's
got a leak in it and you are sinkin', see,
and, uh, you got nothin' to fix it with and
there's sharks all around an'... an' YA
CAN'T SWIM! You know what I mean? You
ever been in that kind of situation? Well,
that's the way it is with me. I need a new
boat. I got some stuff to unload and I need
a new boat.
(Sees Shakley doesn't get it)
You remember Eddie Sotello? He got
busted the other day. An', he's been
fencing some stuff for me. And he's not
gonna get out for a long time, so I... uh... I
need somebody to handle the merchandise
for me.
(Sees Shakley still doesn't get it)
Just forget it, man! Look, there's been
these robberies, okay? Jewelry stores. And
I'm the runner between the robbers and the
fence. Ya followin' me so far now? Except
now my fence is in County and I'm sittin' on
a pile of stuff an' I got no way to move it.
They won't know about you. All's they care
about's their percentage. I'll tell you where

to drop the money and what you gotta do.
It's easy. They'll never see you... you won't
see them. And that will give me and Cindy
a chance to get the hell outta this town
before they rip-off another store.
Jesus, Shakley! It's the only way I'm gonna
get outta this situation. okay. I gotta leave
town. So you'll do it?
Holy Hand Grenade
from Monty Python And The Holy Grail
by Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam,
Eric Idle, Terry Jones & Michael Palin
Brother Maynard: From the Book of Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses 9 to 21: And
Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this, Thy hand
grenade that with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits... in Thy mercy."
And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and
anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large... (stutters a bit and
finally gets back on track)
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count
to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of
the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting
that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third
number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou
foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
Amen.

Motivation
From Noises Off
By Michael Frayn
(Lloyd, the British stage director, has been asked by one of his players what his motivation must be in a scene)
Lloyd: Freddie, love, why does anyone do anything? Why does that other idiot walk out throug
front door holding two plates of sardines? Who knows?
The wellsprings of human action are deep and cloudy. Maybe something happened to you as a
very small child which made you frightened to let go of groceries It could very well be.
Freddy, love, I'm telling you --- I don't know. I don't think the author knows. I don't know why th
author came into this industry in the first place. I don't know why any of us came into it!
(Deep breath)
Alright, Freddie, I'll give you a reason. You carry those groceries into the study, Freddie, honey
because it's just slightly after midnight, and we're not going to be finished before we open tomo
night! Correction --- before we open TONIGHT!!!
(turns to go to his seat)
And on we go. From after Freddie's exit, with the groceries...
(becomes aware of how upset Freddie is)
Oh... Freddie, I think the point is that you've had a great fright when she mentions income tax,
you feel very vulnerable and exposed, and you want something familiar to hold on to.
(satisfied, he turns to go again)
And on we merrily go. "Yes, but I could hear voices"