red dwarf - two - 1.pdf

ed dwarf season two part one small black beetles: the overkill
LISTER: And what about you? You look like Clive of India!
Or the one whose mum does use new biological biz!
RIMMER: Oh! It's started. I knew it would.
LISTER: What has?
RIMMER: The put-downs. It's always the same when we
meet girls. Put me down and make yourself look good.
LISTER: Like when?
RIMMER: Remember those two little brunettes from
supplies? And I told them I worked in stores and they were
really interested and asked me exactly what I did there.
LISTER: And I said you were a shelf.
RIMMER: Exactly! And I suggested a little trip to Titan Zoo
and you said, "Eww! He's taking ya home to meet his mum
already!"
LISTER: So? They laughed!
RIMMER: Yes, at me! At my expense! Just don't put me
down when we meet them.
LISTER: Okay, what do you want me to say? How do
you want me to act?
RIMMER: I don't know. Just act with respect. For a start,
don't call me "Rimmer."
LISTER: Why not?
RIMMER: Because you always put the emphasis on "Rim"
in "Rimmer." Makes me sound like a lavatory disinfectant.
LISTER: Well what do you want me to call you? "Rim-MER?"
RIMMER: I don't know. "Arnie," "Arn," something with a
little more... I don't know. How about "Big Man?" Or what
about the nickname I had at school?
LISTER: What? "Bonehead?"
RIMMER: How did you know my nickname was
"Bonehead?"
LISTER: I was only guessing.
RIMMER: I didn't mean that. I meant the other one.
LISTER: What other one?
RIMMER: "Ace!"
LISTER: Get out of town! Your nickname was never "Ace!"
Maybe "Ace-hole."
RIMMER: It WAS my nickname at school, actually. It's
just no one ever called me it despite the many times I let
them beat me up.
LISTER: What are you trying to say to me, Rimmer?
RIMMER: I'm trying to say build me up, don't put me
down.
LISTER: Like?
RIMMER: Like, if the opportunity occurs and it crops up
naturally in conversation, you could perhaps mention that I'm
very brave.
LISTER: Do what?
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