red dwarf - two - 1.pdf

ed dwarf season two part one small black beetles: the overkill
to pour salt into the wound, you used to take her to the
exact same places I used to take her and do the exact same
things.
LISTER: Rimmer, it's not what it looks like.
RIMMER: That woman is unbelievable. We spent a night in a
hotel in Southport and made love six times. According to
her letter you were in the exact same hotel and you made
love six times too. Twelve times a night? What is wrong with
the woman? She's sex mad! It's a good job you were there. If
I'd been on my own I'd have been dead within a week.
But it doesn't make sense. I mean, she loved me.
LISTER: Listen. She wasn't going out with us both at the
same time.
RIMMER: Come on, I've checked the dates.
LISTER: She wasn't going out with you at all.
RIMMER: She didn't go out with me at all?
LISTER: No, you've never even met her.
RIMMER: Is that the best you can do, Lister? That's
below feeble.
LISTER: I went down to the hologram simulation suite and I
gave you eight months of my memory. It was a present.
RIMMER: You gave me eight months of your memory, as a
present? That's why I was an orphan, even though my
parents were alive. That's why I had my appendix out... twice.
LISTER: I thought it was what you needed.
RIMMER: You've destroyed me, Lister. The woman I loved
most in the whole world didn't love me, she loved you.
CAT: You should have bought him a tie.
OBSERVATION DOME.
LISTER: Come on, Rimmer, you've experienced love. It
made you more confident, more secure.
RIMMER: It didn't happen. I never even met her.
LISTER: It did happen. I mean, you fell in love with her in a
way I never did. She's yours now and nothing can take her
away from you.
RIMMER: That time she stuck her tongue down my ear.
It wasn't my ear at all -- it was your ear. The woman I loved
most in the whole world had her tongue down your ear. The
most romantic thing I've ever had down my ear is a
Johnson's baby bud.
LISTER: Come on, as far as you're concerned you had a
love affair, right? Which was wonderful, yeah? And for
some reason that you can't understand it all went hideously
wrong. Well, so what? Join the club, bucko. It's just you,
me, and everybody else in the world.
RIMMER: I don't want to feel like this any more.
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