You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles
YUMPU automatically turns print PDFs into web optimized ePapers that Google loves.
ed <strong>dwarf</strong> season <strong>two</strong> part one small black beetles: the overkill<br />
out of my memory and I'm going to paste it into his. So<br />
everything that's happened to me he's going to think<br />
happened to him.<br />
CAT: You're going to give him one of your old girlfriends?<br />
LISTER: I'm going to give him Lise Yates.<br />
Lister presses more keys and they stare at the screen. A pretty<br />
woman is on screen running and laughing. She dives to the ground.<br />
YATES: God, I love you Dave, I love you so much.<br />
LISTER: A few minor adjustments.<br />
YATES: God, I love you Rimmer, I love you so much.<br />
LISTER: And that's it.<br />
CAT: And when he wakes up he'll think all this happened to<br />
him?<br />
LISTER: Yeah, the whole eight months.<br />
CAT: Man, that's a fine present. He was probably only<br />
expecting a tie.<br />
Some time later Lister walks into the room to see Rimmer dancing.<br />
LISTER: You're in a good mood.<br />
RIMMER: Why not, Listy? When life's so good?<br />
LISTER: Why is life so good?<br />
RIMMER: You wouldn't understand, Lister, you've never<br />
been in love.<br />
LISTER: I have!<br />
RIMMER: Oh, not real love, Lister, not like I have. Not<br />
fireworks-in-the-sky, from-here-to-eternity, rolling-naked-onthe-beach<br />
kind of love. Not like me and Lise.<br />
LISTER: So, who's Lise?<br />
RIMMER: Never you mind, Lister. Someone who was<br />
absolutely nuts about me, that's all you need to know.<br />
LISTER: Fine, if you want to keep it to yourself.<br />
RIMMER: All I'm saying is, from now on call me "Tiger."<br />
LISTER: An old girlfriend, was she? Tiger.<br />
RIMMER: What a crazy, crazy year that was. The first<br />
three months I was at Saturn Tech doing a maintenance<br />
course. Then for absolutely no reason I suddenly moved to<br />
Liverpool. I drank too much, I smoked too much, I became a<br />
total slob. I met Lise, of course. I even started to eat my own<br />
toenail clippings. My tastes in music radically changed. I<br />
stopped adoring Mantovani and got into Rastabilly Skank.<br />
Crazy!<br />
LISTER: Well, you know, you were in love. You go a bit<br />
crazy.<br />
RIMMER: It was weird. I was absolutely nuts about her but<br />
yet I started to treat her really badly.<br />
LISTER: No, you didn't!<br />
RIMMER: I did! I started to give her some wishy-washy<br />
twaddle about not wanting to get tied down.<br />
page 28
Change language