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ed <strong>dwarf</strong> season <strong>two</strong> part one small black beetles: the overkill<br />
LISTER: OK, aliens came aboard.<br />
RIMMER: Without question.<br />
LISTER: They broke my leg.<br />
RIMMER: For some reason.<br />
CAT: They broke MY leg.<br />
HOLLY: And then they did a jigsaw. Well, that's clea<strong>red</strong><br />
that up then.<br />
RIMMER: Look, you're not thinking alien. That's what<br />
aliens are: alien. They do alien things. Things that are alien.<br />
Maybe this is the way they communicate.<br />
CAT: By breaking legs?<br />
LISTER: And doing jigsaws?<br />
RIMMER: Why should they speak the way we do? They're<br />
aliens.<br />
LISTER: OK, professor, what does it mean?<br />
RIMMER: Breaking your leg hurts like hell, OK? "Hel."<br />
They do it below the knee, "lo." "Hel-lo," get it? They do it<br />
twice -- twice, "<strong>two</strong>." "Hello <strong>two</strong>." And the jigsaw must mean<br />
"you." "Hello to you."<br />
CAT: I wouldn't like to be around when one of these<br />
suckers is making a speech!<br />
LISTER: Hang on -- the black box. Holly, the black box will<br />
have recorded everything, won't it?<br />
HOLLY: Yeah, hang on -- I'll fish it out. It's gone! It's been<br />
half-inched. Wait a minute, let me think about this. It gives<br />
off a signal. We can trace it.<br />
BLUE MIDGET.<br />
LISTER: It's the gearbox, man. I'm telling you.<br />
RIMMER: Nothing yet.<br />
LISTER: This is impossible. It could be anywhere. It's like<br />
trying to find a fart in a jacuzzi.<br />
RIMMER: Look! Down there on that moon.<br />
LISTER: Are you getting a picture now?<br />
RIMMER: Yeah, but the quality's terrible. It's like watching<br />
Spanish television.<br />
CAT: What the hell is that?<br />
LISTER: Start the engines, warm her up. Keep her ticking<br />
over, yeah?<br />
RIMMER: What is it?<br />
LISTER: It's a footprint the size of a surfboard.<br />
CAT: I don't believe the size of these feet. Can you imagine<br />
the problems this guy must have trying to get fashionable<br />
shoes?<br />
LISTER: I wonder if it's true what they say about the size<br />
of your feet? I mean, if it is this guy could probably go to a<br />
fancy dress party as a petrol pump.<br />
page 26
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