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ed <strong>dwarf</strong> season <strong>two</strong> part one small black beetles: the overkill<br />
you're the only man ever to get his money back from the<br />
Odour Eater people, but people like you, don't you see?<br />
That's why you're a fried egg, chili, chutney sandwich. Now me<br />
... all the ing<strong>red</strong>ients are right. I'm disciplined, I'm organised,<br />
I'm dedicated to my career, I've always got a pen. Result?<br />
Total smeghead despised by everyone except the ship's<br />
parrot. And that's only because we haven't got one. Why is<br />
that?<br />
LISTER: I suppose it's because you ARE a total smeghead.<br />
RIMMER: But I'm not! I'm a nice guy -- I'm a goodie.<br />
LISTER: No, Rimmer, see, the trouble is you've never got<br />
time for people. You're too busy trying to be successful. It's<br />
all midnight revision and up, up, up the ziggurat lickety spit.<br />
RIMMER: I have got time for people. What about all the<br />
time I spent licking up to Todhunter even though he was a<br />
total gimp? And Captain Hollister? Mr fat bastard 2044. I<br />
went out of my way to simp around him.<br />
LISTER: Rimmer, that's not having time for people.<br />
RIMMER: Do you know how many times in my entire life I<br />
made love?<br />
LISTER: No, and I don't want to know.<br />
RIMMER: I want to tell you. I am going to tell you.<br />
LISTER: Listen, Rimmer. If you tell me, you'll wake up in the<br />
morning. You'll have your hangover and you'll feel like<br />
death and you'll walk up to the mirror and you'll look in the<br />
mirror and you'll remember and you'll go, "Ahahahahah!" See,<br />
it's not worth it, I don't want to know and believe me you<br />
don't want to tell me.<br />
RIMMER: Once.<br />
LISTER: Smeg!<br />
RIMMER: One time only.<br />
LISTER: Don't tell me this, Rimmer. You'll want to kill<br />
yourself in the morning.<br />
RIMMER: Yvonne McGruder. A single, brief liaison with the<br />
ship's female boxing champion. March the sixteenth, seven<br />
thirty one PM to seven forty three PM. Twelve minutes. And<br />
that includes the time it took to eat the pizza. In my entire<br />
life I have spent more time being sick.<br />
LISTER: So, I mean, you haven't met the right girl yet.<br />
RIMMER: No, I haven't, Lister. I haven't met the right girl<br />
and some just might say, given the fact that the human<br />
race no longer exists, coupled with the fact that I have<br />
passed on, some just might say that I'm leaving it a little bit<br />
on the late side.<br />
LISTER: Well you made a decision, didn't you? I mean you<br />
chose your career over your personal life.<br />
RIMMER: Yes, I did. I did, didn't I? Pearls of wisdom there<br />
from Mr fried egg, chili, chutney, sandwich face. Well, I'll tell<br />
you something, Lister. I'll tell you something. I'd trade it all<br />
in -- all of it. My pips, my long-service medals, my swimming<br />
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