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Contraception in Contemporary Orthodox Judaism

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2) Stability of the relationship: Although the physical mitzvah of<br />

procreation technically ends at birth, there is no deny<strong>in</strong>g that<br />

the spirit of the mitzvah cont<strong>in</strong>ues at least until the child is<br />

ready to leave home. Thus, parental responsibility <strong>in</strong>cludes not<br />

only bear<strong>in</strong>g the children, but rais<strong>in</strong>g them <strong>in</strong> the manner<br />

befitt<strong>in</strong>g a Jewish family. A couple with an unstable relationship<br />

can have children, but those children are as likely to suffer from<br />

the marital strife as the parents. It is common knowledge that a<br />

marriage on the rocks is a recipe for emotionally confused<br />

children. It is highly doubtful that any rabbi would not<br />

recommend contraception <strong>in</strong> the case of a troubled marriage if<br />

the man has already fulfilled procreation. A strong argument<br />

could be made that the same advice should be given to a couple<br />

that has not fulfilled the mitzvah 43 .<br />

3) Amount of time they can devote to their children: Even a<br />

couple with stable f<strong>in</strong>ances and a stable relationship may feel<br />

that they cannot divide their already limited time to more<br />

children than they already have. The reasons for the time<br />

limitations could be related to jobs/careers, Torah learn<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

deal<strong>in</strong>g with the needs of other children, or community related<br />

obligations. As we all realize at some po<strong>in</strong>t or another, there is<br />

only so much time <strong>in</strong> the day. Rais<strong>in</strong>g children <strong>in</strong> a manner<br />

suitable for an orthodox lifestyle is extremely demand<strong>in</strong>g and<br />

should consume a considerable amount of any parents’ time. It<br />

would be somewhat ironic if the obligation of ‘<strong>in</strong> the even<strong>in</strong>g<br />

do not rest your hand’ forced devoted parents to devote less<br />

time than they believe necessary to raise the children they<br />

already have.<br />

4) Personal goals: Many people, perhaps, would take offence at<br />

the idea that personal goals could take precedence over the<br />

opportunity to br<strong>in</strong>g<strong>in</strong>g another Jewish child <strong>in</strong>to the world.<br />

43 Rav Yehuda Henk<strong>in</strong>, <strong>in</strong> his sefer, B’nei Banim, suggests an automatic heter of six months for<br />

newlywed couples.

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