Naiad 1976 - Lake-Sumter Community College

132
Computer Error
John Quigley stamped out of the Bureau of Vehicle Registration
offices muttering invectives under his breath.
"What the hell," he asked himself, "are computers good for
anyway?" A sign across the street beckoned - Office Lounge.
Quigley crossed and made for the door.
"What'll it be?" the bartender asked, as Quigley settled
himself on the barstool. •
"Double shot - bourbon, and water back."
"Comin' up."
"Kinda slow today," Quigley observed, looking around.
"You're the first. We usually don't get much till
about eleven," replied the bartender as he placed the glasses
on the bar.
"You know," Quigley said, as he twirled the shot glass
in his hand, "computers are for the birds. I went over to
the registration office early to get my new plates. If you
don't go early you'll spend all day waitin' in line. Anyway,
when it comes my turn, I give the girl this form they sent
me, and guess what happens?"
"What?"
"She goes over to a file, pulls out a card, and comes
back - now get this!" he said, his voice changing to a falsetto
pitch. '"Sir"' he went on, trying to imitate the
clerk's voice, "our computer shows you as being deceased."
Gulping down his drink, he continued, his voice normal
again. "How about that! Here I am standing right smack in
front of her, and she says her computer says I'm dead."
"I'll be damned," the bartender said. "What did you
do?"
"Well, the funny part is, I couldn't do anything. She
said I was the second one it happened to today, and that
we'd both - (the other guy's name was Quinn, by the way) ­
have to wait till they made a correction and put the card
back through the computer. Tell you one thing! She better
get that computer straightened out, or I'll be talkin' to
someone who will!" he said emphatically.
"Don't blame yuu Mister - what did you say your name
was?"
"Didn't. But it's Quigley."
"Wait a minute!" the bartender said, an expression of
enlightenment coming over his face . "Hold on! Q-U-I
Quigley - Quinn. Your name and the other guy's both start
with Q-U-1. Maybe the computer goofed on everyone's name
that starts with Q-U-1."