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we must break the cycle of lashing out and placing blame, and stop finding fault. It
always takes two to make or break any relationship and no one person can ever be
completely responsible for what is right or what is wrong. However, we are always
responsible for maintaining our own behavior when our 'buttons' are being pushed. In
order to have our wants, needs and expectations met we must learn how to communicate
them.
Lashing out either verbally or physically is a form of abuse that usually stems from our
need to control and have power over a situation. Our own thoughts, our own attitudes,
and our own actions are the only things that we can have total control over. When an
individual or a country uses any act of violence or abuse it is a very serious statement
that things are not in right relationship. We must all learn to move beyond the boundaries
of a singular point of view to reach mutual understanding, because it is only through
understanding that we may begin the process of healing our world and ourselves.
Conflict is a gift that challenges us to stretch and open our minds so that we may learn
how to communicate and understand the differences. Being in right relationship is a
process of learning how to demonstrate respect and communicate effectively. Being
completely honest - saying what we mean and meaning what we say is at the heart of
good communication. Good communication starts with good listening. Good listening is
a balance between head (thinking) and heart (feeling).
Truly understanding another perspective requires listening. We can not speak and listen
at the same time. Listening requires silence so that we may begin to hear without
judgment. It is a dance of "giving and receiving". Rather than allowing our mind to react
emotionally, we make a choice to exercise discipline. We suspend our point of view - our
judgment - our feelings so that we may validate the psychological needs and feelings of
another, regardless of whether or not we agree.
Respecting the need for silence while another is communicating gives space for each
person to explore his or her thoughts and feelings more deeply. In this space both are
able to choose their words more carefully so that they may express their opinions in a
positive way. Respecting the need to listen enables us to receive (hear) something that
may spark us to move "out of the box" that our normal "in the box" way of thinking may
have never thought of before. When we learn to validate and appreciate differences, we
usually open to new ideas and ways of being in our world. And, when we open to
differences healing change is possible....
(20 Reads) comments?
General information: Where Magic Began
Posted by: Nyxks on Saturday, March 06, 2004 - 02:05 AM
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