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ceremony. Most couples designed a unique ritual which fits their needs. Some
of the following components may be present, in any order that the couple feels
comfortable with. A heterosexual handfasting ceremony is described below; the
text can easily be modified for a same-sex couple. Some of the statements and
the ritual of casting and banishing the circle would be modified to match the
Wiccan tradition that the couple follows:
The date may be chosen to be near a full moon. Handfastings during the month of May are rare because
that is the month of the union of the Goddess and God. (Most Wiccans are duotheistic: they believe in
two deities, one female and the other male.
The ceremony is often held outdoors; preferably in a wooded area; ideally at a crossroads. A backup
location is selected in the case of rain. The bride will not be dressed in a traditional wedding gown. The
couple will wear attractive clothes for the ceremony. The bride often wears red. A circle is formed on the
ground with rocks, crystals or some other marker. It is large enough to handle then entire wedding party,
and guests, with plenty of empty space. Candles will mark the four cardinal directions. An altar is located
near the center of the circle. It is large enough to support the marriage documents; a knife; chalice; a
cloth, rope or ribbon; a small silver box and a trowel! A broomstick is laid beside the altar. Wildflowers
may be spread inside the circle. The bridal couple stands to the east of the circle. They wear circlets of
flowers. Friends and family are gathered around
the circle.
The presider rings a bell three times to indicate the start of the ritual and to demarcate divisions within
the handfasting ceremony. The couple approaches the circle from the east -- the direction of sunrise; this
symbolizes growth in their relationship. They walk once around the circle and enter from the east. The
presider explains to the guests the significance of the ritual to be performed. The circle is then cast. This
usually involves a Wiccan priestess or priest walking around the periphery of the circle four times, with
elements representing earth, air, fire and water. They will recite a statement at each
of the four directions.
Answering a challenge from the presider, the couple each declares their intent to join with the other so
that they are one in the eyes of the God and Goddess, and of family and friends present. The presider
asks the traditional question whether anyone present is aware of any reason why the couple should not be
handfasted. Hopefully, nobody objects.
The couple recites a statement, saying that they have come of their own free will "in perfect love and
perfect trust" to seek the partnership of their future spouse. They exchange rings. Each recites a prepared
statement, such as: "I, [name], commit myself to be with [name] in joy and adversity, in wholeness and
brokenness, in peace and turmoil, living with him/her faithfully all our days. May the Gods give me the
strength to keep these vows. So be it." 10 The presider challenges them to drink from the same cup. Each
drinks separately. Then each holds the cup so that the other may drink. This symbolizes the need for a
balance between apartness and togetherness in their
future life together.
The couple will face each other, joining both their left and right hands together. Their arms and bodies
form a figure 8 when viewed from above The a double circle is both the mathematical infinity symbol
and an ancient religious symbol for the union of a man and woman.
The presider will place a cord, ribbon, or strip of cloth over the couple's hands. It may be loosely tied; it
might be red in color, symbolizing life. This symbolizes that the handfasting is a commitment, but one
that is not an onerous one. One year and a day after being handfasted, the couple may return to the
presider and repeat their vows with the cord or cloth tightly knotted. This symbolizes the intent to have a
permanent relationship. This ritual is the source of the expression "to tie the knot." The couple each reads
a statement to the other, expressing their love and their hopes for their future together. Since their hands
are bound, the texts are held by their assistants. The bonds are removed. The couple uses a knife to cut
off a lock of each other's hair. This is put in a silver box. This symbolizes their future relationship, one as
intimate as the mixing of their hairs.
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