Sleepover - Bladder and Bowel Website

SLEEPOVER
P R O M O T I N G B L A D D E R A N D B O W E L H E A L T H

MEET . . .
& JAKE SAM

FOREWORD
Sleepover is one of three booklets about childhood enuresis (bedwetting)
originally developed by the Continence Foundation of Australia.
The reprint of these very popular resources, Sleepover, Dry Night
and Watertight, was made possible under the Australian Government’s
National Continence Management Strategy. These booklets will be welcomed
by the many parents and children struggling to overcome the
issues associated with bed-wetting.
Sleepover is an interactive resource for parents and children: a
story for parents to read aloud to their child, or for the child to read
alone. It touches on many of the issues associated with bed-wetting:
embarrassment, frustration and isolation, but also commitment,
achievement, trust and support. Bed-wetting is a common and complex
condition that can often be a source of worry for parents and their
children.
The Foundation supports children to learn good bladder and bowel
habits by offering fun and interactive educational resources. We
encourage parents to seek assistance from a health professional
experienced in paediatric incontinence and qualified to advise on these
issues.
Barry Cahill
Chief Executive Officer
Continence Foundation of Australia
July 2008
1

JAKE & SAM , JAKE & SAM S SLEEPOVER
, S SLEEPOVER
It was as if time was standing still. Jake couldn’t hear all the noise in the
playground. All he could see was Sam standing there with a smile on his
face and the other guys acting all excited, saying “Yeah, what a great
idea! We’ll all come to your sleepover – if our parents let us!”
Sam turned to Jake “So what about it? You’ll come, won’t you?”
Jake and Sam had been in the same class right through primary school –
and even before that, in pre-school. The two of them, now aged nine, still
played together all the time.
But there was a secret that Jake had never told Sam. And this wasn’t the
time to talk about it. Jake forced a smile. “A sleepover next month
for your birthday? Yeah, that sounds great. I’ll ask my mum.”
Sam slapped Jake on the shoulder, grabbed a tennis ball from his bag
and began a game of handball.
Jess was Jake’s big sister and they walked home together every day
after school. Jake looked miserable, wasn’t talking and kicking at every
stone that was in his way.
“What’s wrong, Jake?” asked Jess. “You’re really grumpy.”
“It’s nothing you can help with,” muttered Jake.
They walked on in silence. Jess knew that if she just kept quiet
eventually she’d hear the story.
Finally, Jake sighed. He felt as if he was about to cry. “I don’t know
what to do,” he said at last.
“About what?” asked Jess.
“Sam’s having a sleepover for his birthday,” said Jake.
“That’s great!” replied Jess, “I love sleepovers.”
“But I won’t be able to go, will I?”
“Why not?” asked Jess.
3

4
“You know why not. I’ll have to take disposable pants and
someone might find out,” said Jake unhappily, “and even if I
wear them, I might still make the bed wet.”
Jess felt bad that she’d put her foot in it. But she was a bit fed up with the
fuss everyone made over Jake’s bed-wetting.
Last year she was often woken up by the sounds of her mum or dad
changing the bed and taking Jake to the bathroom. Jake always whinged
loudly and wanted to go back to bed. But just before Christmas, their
mum said she wasn’t putting up with wet beds any longer and that Jake
had to start wearing disposables again.
“Jake, you’re not the only person in the world who wets the
bed,” said Jess.
“Well, I’m nine
and I don’t know
anybody else who
does,” muttered
Jake.
“Well, what about
Sarah in my
class?“

“What? She’s eleven!” Jake was amazed. He turned to Jess.
“How did you find out?”
“Actually she doesn’t wet the bed any more. Now that she
doesn’t wet the bed she doesn’t mind talking about it. But she
says she knows there are a few kids at school who still do. A
doctor told her that in grade one there are about five kids in
every class who wet the bed. Even at your age there are one
or two in every class.”
“In every class? Are you sure?” Jake couldn’t believe it. How come
he’d never heard anyone talking about it before?
Jake turned to his sister. “So how did Sarah stop?”
“I don’t know exactly,” replied Jess. “I know Sarah saw a doctor
and it took her a while to stop. I can’t remember how long,
I just know Sarah said it was worth all the hard work in the
end.”
Jake kicked another stone. He was fed up. He’d been to a doctor and a
specialist and a nurse at a clinic, but nothing worked. Mum kept him off
drinks at night even though he was thirsty. They’d tried that bell thing
which went off when he did a wee in his sleep. That didn’t work. Dad had
promised to give him a computer game if he was dry for a week. Jake
never went more than a couple of nights without wetting the bed. He’d
had it with the whole thing.
That evening at dinner Jake suddenly thought it was worth giving the
sleepover idea a try. He wanted to go so badly.
“Mum, can I please go to Sam’s sleepover next month?”
“A sleepover!” she replied gently. “Oh Jake, I’m not so sure
about that. I know it would upset you if the other kids found
out you still needed disposables. We agreed it might not be a
good idea until you were sure you wouldn’t wet the bed.”
Jake felt as if he was going to cry and looked down at his plate.
He nodded and pushed the spaghetti around with his fork.
5

The next day Jake was still miserable. He was worried about the whole
thing. Sam wouldn’t take ‘no’ to sleeping over and would want to know
why. He thought long and hard about it and decided the only way
he could get Sam to stop pestering him and get out of going to the
sleepover was to tell him his secret. After all, they were good friends.
The two boys were playing handball in Jake’s backyard. Jake didn’t throw
the ball, but just stood turning it over in his hand.
“I … I have something I want to tell you,” he said to Sam who was
asking him again about the sleepover. “But you mustn’t ever tell
anyone else.” Sam turned and walked up to his friend.
“It’s just that … well, I wet the bed and I have to wear
disposable pants.”
Sam looked surprised but he hesitated only a moment. “That’s okay,”
he said.
Jake looked surprised. “What do you mean?”
“I’ll tell you my secret and you’ll have to promise not to tell
anyone either. I have to wear disposables too!” said Sam with a grin.
“But how come you want to have a sleepover?” asked Jake.
“Aren’t you scared someone will find out?”
“Yes, I suppose I am a bit now. But I suggested the sleepover
in front of everyone before I could stop myself! Mum said I can
just wear disposables in case I have an accident. I hope they
don’t notice though.”
“I’m sick of this.” said Jake, “We’ve just got to do something
about it. Last year, my mum made an excuse for me, about
why I didn’t go to school camp. But I want to be able to go this
year.”
They skate-boarded a while and talked about their common problem.
Then Jake suggested, “My sister told me that her friend used to
wet the bed but she got help from a doctor. She’s fine now. Do
you reckon we could work on getting dry together? Then when
we’re okay, we can both have sleepovers whenever we want,”
said Jake. 7

8
“Let’s get our mums to take us back to the doctor or a bedwetting
specialist. But this time we’ll help each other too,”
said Jake, thinking how much better he felt already. It felt good to share
his deepest secret with his friend and he knew that Sam wouldn’t tell
because it was a secret that belonged to both of them. He watched Sam
jump happily onto his skateboard and fly away down the street.
It seemed to Jake that Sam didn’t worry quite as much about the
problem as he did. He was his mate, but he wasn’t the same as Sam
who seemed so cool about the whole thing.
“Maybe it’s just like bed-wetting,” he thought, “everyone’s
different. There are different ways of fixing the problem for
different kids. Some kids take longer than others to be dry at
night.” But he decided that he would try to be a little more like Sam and
relax and not worry so much about it all.
He thought, “When it feels like I’m the only one who ever wets
the bed and I think it will never get better, I know there are lots
of kids who wet the
bed but work hard
and fix it. Just like
my sister’s friend,
Sarah.”
Jake smiled to himself.
He felt happier. He
imagined himself
sleeping right through
the night and waking
up in the morning in a
warm, dry bed.

Two weeks later Jake and Sam were well underway with their plan. They
had talked to their mums about a new start to tackling the bed-wetting
and working on it together. They were each going to different clinics
where there were special bed-wetting ‘coaches’.
Jake and Sam had a secret meeting. “What’s your coach like?”
asked Sam.
Jake replied, “Well, even though I didn’t want to say much, she
made me feel OK to talk about it. Her name is Ann. She told
me that it could take a bit longer to be dry at night and she
explained what was going wrong. The main problem is that
when I’m asleep and my bladder’s full, my brain isn’t taking
notice and it doesn’t wake me up to go to the toilet. Everyone
takes a different amount of time to learn how to be dry”.
“So what did she get you to do?” asked Sam.
“It’s a bit boring because I’ve done most of it before – you
know the alarm and that sort of thing. But Ann gave us some
good tips. The best thing is that I am allowed to drink again
before bed, which is great because I get so thirsty sometimes.
Ann said I need to drink lots during the day to train my
bladder muscle to learn to stretch more and hold more wee.
I’m not allowed to have cola or any soft drinks in the evenings
– just plain water,” said Jake.
Sam said, “My coach is good to talk to too – she said I could
call her Dee. She told me that I’ve probably got a bit of this
problem from my parents. It was really funny! My mum said
that my dad told her he used to wet the bed a lot when he was
a kid. Anyway, I’ve had to start using an alarm too. And I have
to help mum change my bed each night.”
“Yeah, I’ve got to change my own bed too,” said Jake with a sigh.
“It’s a pain.” Sam shook his head wearily. He understood perfectly.
9

Things didn’t seem to go so well at first for Sam. For the sixth time
that week, the alarm rang again during the night. Sam stumbled out of
bed and began complaining to his father, who had staggered into the
bedroom half asleep.
“Dad, I’m sick of this alarm! It makes such a noise, then I’ve
got to get up and do a wee in the toilet even though I don’t
need one and then I’ve got to put the alarm back on so it can
happen all over again! Can’t you leave it off Dad? Can’t you?”
Sam felt miserable. He was so tired. Mind you, his father looked pretty
tired too.
His dad sat down with him. “Listen Sam. I’d love a good night’s
sleep as much as you. I’ve got a very early start tomorrow.
Remember Dee said that the reason the alarm probably didn’t
work last time we had it, was that we didn’t use it for long
enough and re-set it each time it went off. Your mum and I are
wanting to help you. I know it’s tough but I think you should
stick with it.”
Sam hugged his dad. “It’s just that I don’t want the alarm on
again. It’s woken me up once. I’ve learned my lesson. Why do I
have to put it on again?”
His dad sighed. “Look. The alarm’s a good way of teaching your
bladder to wake you up when it’s full. But you’ve got to keep
at it, okay? And do it properly.”
Sam felt as if he wasn’t getting anywhere. At his next appointment with
Dee, both he and his dad didn’t look happy.
“Look, Dee,” said his dad, “we’ve been doing everything you
said but Sam’s still wetting the bed.”
“Can I see your diary, Sam?” asked Dee kindly. She looked carefully
through the chart, then looked up and smiled. “Sam, you’re actually
doing very well! Remember when I asked you to write down
in your diary how often and how much you wet, not just
whether you’ve wet the bed or not?”
“Yes,” answered Sam, wondering what she was getting at.
11

12
“Well, look at your diary carefully.” Dee said, “Here’s the
beginning of the time with the alarm.” She pointed to all the notes
on each page. “You were really flooding the bed twice a night at
the start. But now look at it. You’re only wetting once a night.
Some nights you’re dry – and when you do wet, it’s only a
little bit.”
Sam looked at his dad, who replied, “Er … you’re right. The wet
patches are smaller now.”
Dee smiled again. “That means you’re definitely improving.
You’re winning! It just feels a bit slow. It’s not noticeable
because it’s happening slowly. So now you know it’s working,
it’s even more important that you keep on with it.”
Sam felt better. His dad asked, “Can’t we hurry it up though? Are
there tablets? And I’ve heard about a nose spray you can take
for bed-wetting. Do you think they could help Sam with this?”
“Well,” replied Dee, “there are medications that can sometimes
be used for bed-wetting, but I really don’t think Sam will need
this. You need to be
patient, Sam, to keep
trying and give it more
time. I’m guessing
you’ll find that by the
next visit here, you’ll be
almost completely dry.”
Dad smiled and roughed up
Sam’s hair. “Well, Sam,
that sleepover might
not be so far away.
What do you think?”
Sam smiled back.
“Sleepovers, here we
come!”

It wasn’t long before Jake’s next appointment with Ann. Jake pulled out
his diary with a big smile. “I’ve gone for the last 14 days without
the alarm going off.”
Ann was delighted.
“So does that mean I can stop the alarm now?” asked Jake.
“Almost,” said Ann, “but you know, I’d like to be sure. What I
want to do now is to really test how well your bladder’s talking
to your brain – by pushing things a bit harder at night.”
“What do you mean?” asked Jake.
“Well,” said Ann, “for a few nights, I want you to drink a lot
during and after your dinner, so there’s more fluid going into
your bladder through the night. Now, what might happen is
that this pushes you too much and you’ll wet the bed again.
But that’s okay – it just means you need a little more training
with the alarm and extra drinks for a few nights.”
“And if I’m dry after that?” asked Jake.
“After that you can put away the alarm – then sleepovers and
school camp are definitely on!” she said.
A few weeks went by and Jake and Sam compared how they were going
with the bed-wetting. It seemed that they weren’t improving exactly the
same. That was the thing that Jake’s bed-wetting coach had said at their
first appointment – that everyone is different.
He also remembered his mum saying to him, as they loaded his
wet sheets into the washing machine in the middle of the night: “I
understand how it all seems too hard and is taking too long,
Jake. But I know you’ll improve if you keep trying.”
Jake remembered his sister telling him about her friend who had taken
quite a while to get ‘dry’.
His big sister had said to Jake, “I think you just have to keep at it,
exactly like athletes do, training their bodies to get better and
better.” That made sense. Whenever he felt like not trying anymore, he
whispered to himself,
“I’m going to win because I won’t give up!”
13

It was a couple of months later and Jake’s mum and dad were in the
kitchen having a late-night cup of tea and listening to the rumble of noise
and laughter upstairs. They shook their heads at each other.
“Is this really why we went through all that work with Jake
helping him to get dry?” laughed Jake’s mother.
“Sleepovers.” Jake’s dad complained. He grumbled as he crunched
into another biscuit, “Another one! They’re absolutely nothing but
trouble!”
But not to Sam and Jake!
. . .THE END
. . .THE END
15

CONTACTS . .
CONTACTS . . .
16
For further help with a
bed-wetting problem
The National Continence Helpline (Freecall
1800 33 00 66) can give you the details of a
clinic or continence advisor nearby, as well as
advice on helpful products available.
National Continence Helpline
FREECALL TM
1800 33 00 66
Helpline advisors are always sensitive to the
confidentiality and anonymity of all callers. An
Australian Government initiative managed by the
Continence Foundation of Australia
Continence Foundation of Australia
AMA House, 293 Royal Parade
Parkville VIC 3052
T (03) 9347 2522
F (03) 9347 2533
E info@continence.org.au
W www.continence.org.au
Continence Foundation of Australia (CFA)
Resource Centres
Victoria
T (03) 9816 8266
E cfavic@continencevictoria.org.au
New South Wales
T (02) 8741 5699
E contfoundnsw@ozemail.com.au
Western Australia
T (08) 9386 9777 or 1800 814 925
E info@continencewa.org.au
South Australia
T (08) 8266 5260
E info@continencesa.org.au
Web
www.continence.org.au
.ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The set of three childhood enuresis booklets –
Sleepover, The Dry Night and Watertight – was
originally produced in 1996 under the guidance
of the Childhood Continence Working Party, a
national, multi-disciplinary group drawn from
appropriate academic, professional and community
organisations. The Continence Foundation of
Australia is grateful to these people for their
contribution, particularly those who contributed
their efforts on an honorary basis in addition to
usual work commitments.
The Continence Foundation of Australia
acknowledges the original working party:
Dr Norman Swan (author of the original set of three
booklets), Elaine Sutton and Janine King of Conquip
Consulting Continence Service.
For this revision and reprint, we thank the following
contributors who reviewed the original text and
suggested amendments where necessary:
Continence Foundation of Australia Paediatric
Advisory Sub-Committee
Staff from Continence Foundation of Australia
National Office
Continence Nurse Advisors from the National
Continence Helpline
© Continence Foundation of Australia, 2008
This book is copyright. Apart from any fair dealing for the
purpose of private study, research and review, no part may
be reproduced by any process without written permission
from the National Office of the Continence Foundation of
Australia.
First printed 2004
For additional copies contact:
The Continence Foundation of Australia
AMA House, 293 Royal Parade
Parkville VIC 3052
T: (03) 9347 2522 • F: (03) 9347 2533
W: www.continence.org.au
This book is intended as a general introduction only and is
no substitute for professional assessment and care.
The printing of this publication is funded by the Australian
Government through the National Continence program.
Note that throughout this booklet the word ‘disposables’
is used rather than the brand name of any type of bodyworn
absorbent disposable product used for a bed-wetting
problem.
Printer: Printwize (Vic) Pty Ltd, Melbourne
Design: Pauline Buckman
Illustrations: Rachel Webby

Talk to your doctor, health
professional or call the
National Continence Helpline
1800 33 00 66
www.health.gov.au
All information in this publication is correct as of April 2011
w w w . c o n t i n e n c e . o r g . a u
D0272 April 2011