From Ignorance to Innocence - Osho - Oshorajneesh.com

CHAPTER 3. THE NUCLEAR FAMILY – THE IMMINENT MELTDOWN
So the commune is not another society. It is not providing you with a society, a club, a congregation,
a party, no. It is simply providing you a space, and an understanding that all these people are lonely,
just as you are. But don’t try to fill it, because if you try to fill it, you are trying to do something against
nature and you will be miserable. Hence, don’t think in terms of loneliness; better to think in terms
of aloneness.
And to be alone is so beautiful; untrespassed, nobody trampling on you, you are left to be yourself
and you leave others to be themselves. Yes, once in a while you meet....
India has produced a few great geniuses in this century; one of them was Rabindranath Tagore. I
love one of his novels – The Last Poem is the name of the novel. There are two persons: one,
a young man, a poet, a philosopher – he actually says what Rabindranath would like to say, he
represents Rabindranath – and a woman who is in need of relationship. She is continually harassing
him about marriage. And particularly in India, if one woman and a man are even seen walking
together, that is enough for a scandal. They might not be doing anything, but just walking together
and it is enough for a scandal; the whole town will be agog, and so many stories will start springing
up from nowhere. And of course the woman suffers more because everywhere people start pointing
at her.
So she was desperate. She was saying, ”Why do you go on postponing? – you love me, you want
to be with me. If you don’t love me, I will not force you.”
And the man says, ”I love you, that’s why I am not going to marry you.” Now, this is very difficult
for the woman. If she had been from my commune she would have understood. But what kind of
statement is this? – ”Because I love you I cannot marry you.” But she goes on and on, so he says,
”I will marry you on one condition.”
They are sitting on the bank of a lake. He says, ”I will make my house on this side of the lake and
you make your house on the other side of the lake. Once in a while, walking, perhaps we may meet.
Once in a while, perhaps I may knock on your door or you may knock on my door. Once in a while,
perhaps I am in a boat and you are also in a boat, and we meet on the lake. But it always has to
be without any prearrangement. It has not to be a dating. I will never inform you that I am coming,
you will never inform me that you are coming. I will marry you on this condition only. For a few days
we may not be able to see each other. You will never ask me,’Where have you been?’ We will never
interfere in each other’s freedom. We will remain as strangers, as we are now.”
The woman said, ”Then what is the purpose of marriage?” Naturally she cannot understand what is
the purpose of the marriage.
The purpose of marriage is to be on each other’s head twenty-four hours a day. The purpose of
marriage is to destroy each other in the name of love; to nag, harass, fight. The man is suggesting
exactly the right thing: ”It will be a great joy suddenly seeing you on the lake... I will not be expecting
it. Unexpectedly, I will find you in the jungle by the side of the lake....” Just to think of that unexpected
moment is relating. There is no relationship.
He cannot send a message, ”You have to come tonight because you are my wife, otherwise I am
going to court.” In fact the husband cannot say to the wife, ”You sleep in the other room.” That is
From Ignorance to Innocence 40 Osho