Inscape 04 FINAL - Pasadena City College

K AEL L AL ONDE
Has the scar healed Daddy?
Stupid question.
Scars that big don’t go very far
Will
The first time under the knife
Dr. Blood told you and mom that with chemo and
radiation,
you could buy up to 3 extra months,
on top of the 3 he already gave you
Dulled and depleted
You left, denied of even half a year to live
If you took his advice
You lay in bed for days, I remember
Not quite depressed
Discouraged
probably
Disillusioned
definitely
Disappointed
Of course, maybe even
Disturbed
But only a distraction did this distant form
of death cause
So you changed direction all together
The pills, the appointments, the plastic,
the poison they tried to pollute you with,
we put in the past
You choose love to revive life
And it was five more years
Until you had to go back under the knife
This time you weren’t all I had to worry about
lying in the hospital bed
But mom sitting next to you holding her head
in her hands
Wishing I was there to share the fear
because who would waste time
while she waited,
for the wait in the waiting room
wringing her hands
and biting the inside of her lip
This time all I could do was cry to a phone
devouring the flesh behind my lip too
It had become only minutes now between
lightning joints
Sedation wasn’t enough to forget
But just enough to suppress the logic that was
setting in
And let denial soothe the doubt
It was only you daddy that knew it wasn’t through
You told me you weren’t going anywhere soon
and laughed
Twenty-five more years you said
And no more
No more hospital beds
You had been hiccuping for over a week without sleep
They said it was from the pressure of the
tumor on your brain stem
Which meant you were near the end
In the face of death you held your name high
and it became apparent why
You were born to the name will
Now in a new country with a new scar you live
INSCAPE • 14 INSCAPE • 15