SATIRE - The Noble NoZe Brotherhood
SATIRE - The Noble NoZe Brotherhood
SATIRE - The Noble NoZe Brotherhood
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DOES ANYONE REMEMBER OCTOBER 2006?: I SURE AS HELL DON’T<br />
THE RoPE<br />
ENTERTAINMENT FoR THE INFIRMED AND THE ELDERLY VoLUME 85, NUMBER 6 WWW.THENoZE.oRG<br />
KENNY INCREDIBLE<br />
STARRSTRUCK<br />
THE ROPE<br />
INTERVIEW<br />
20Q<br />
DAVEY<br />
GARLAND<br />
PLUS:<br />
A PRoFESSIoNAL LooKING TABLE<br />
oF CoNTENTS<br />
THE NoZE BRoTHERHooD’S<br />
oNE DAY WITHoUT PANTS<br />
SING REVIEWS:<br />
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER<br />
MoRE GoSSIP GIRL<br />
SMEAR CAMPAIGNS<br />
DIA FoRECASTS<br />
WHY THE HELL AM I STILL DoING<br />
THIS WITH MY LIFE?<br />
LIVING IN THE NOZE MANSION<br />
<strong>SATIRE</strong><br />
OF<br />
THE<br />
BIG<br />
12<br />
PROVOCATIVE<br />
ARTICLES<br />
WITH BASIS<br />
IN REAL EVENTS, HONEST
2<br />
T<br />
FULL BROTHERS PIC<br />
h e k e k o<br />
KEKo MUCKITY MUCK!<br />
KEKo MUCKITY MUCK!<br />
MENE MENE TEKEL<br />
UPHARSIN! SATCHEL oN,<br />
BRoTHER LoNG NoZE,<br />
SATCH! BSSS! BMMC!<br />
HGRS! JLRC! WFFF! DGDC!<br />
KSVD!<br />
Huzzah, we’ve done it, this is it,<br />
we’re out, hip-hip hooray, let’s give<br />
a yell. We’ve survived another year,<br />
and despite all the jeers, the group<br />
didn’t quite go to hell. We tried to<br />
make a CD, I hope we succeed, but<br />
honestly it’s in Elmo’s hands now.<br />
Look for us on iTunes, to hear all<br />
our new croons, it’s uncensored,<br />
so don’t have a cow. We made a<br />
magazine, to break with the routine,<br />
and to make us look like pros for<br />
once. Here it is, 16 pages, proofed<br />
by neos in cages, even by Burlington,<br />
the class dunce. So what can<br />
you say about a year like this one?<br />
I’m sure as hell glad that this paper<br />
is done. And admittedly this has all<br />
been ever so fun, I need to get out,<br />
I need to get some sun. And have<br />
you seen this rug? Can I get a satch?<br />
Satchel? Gob.
vol. 85, no. 6 -- april 2010<br />
THE RoPE<br />
c o n t e n t s<br />
f e a t u r e s<br />
3 TABLE OF CONTENTS<br />
This is space filler. Desperate, desperate space filler<br />
37 BRO. TELEMU<strong>NoZe</strong> TAKES A GUY TO JAIL<br />
This really happened. Call/Text?<br />
52 BRO. <strong>NoZe</strong>y LOVES CHACHI SHARES HER NCAA DEFUNCT BRACKET<br />
Which includes placement for the Mets and some team called “<strong>The</strong> Bills.”<br />
78 GIRL TALK<br />
What is She Really Trying to Say When She Starts Carrying Mace in Her Purse?<br />
93 FASHION TIPS FROM BRO. TICKLE ME ELMnOzE<br />
Trucker hats, the comeback story<br />
1812 WHAT NAPOLEON DID WRONG<br />
<strong>The</strong> joke is in the page number, go look it up.<br />
fiction<br />
? BRO. JESUS LOVES ME THIS I <strong>NoZe</strong>’s SEX LIFE<br />
Har Har, har har<br />
the rope forum<br />
22 GRADUATING THIS YEAR?<br />
Good fuckin’ luck.<br />
20Q<br />
5 IT’S THE DEAR LORDE MAYOR<br />
And a cop out. <strong>The</strong>re’s probably not even 20 complete sentences.<br />
interview<br />
14 THE ROPE DATA SHEET GETS STARRED<br />
This one’s actually in here, not that you should read it.<br />
PIC<br />
COVER STORY<br />
What do you call a truck with cock eyed wheels,<br />
a complete loss of axis control, and a muffler<br />
that just won’t stop rattling? Well, you give it<br />
a spot on the cover of the paper, that’s what.<br />
Maybe then they’ll feel like they left a legacy, or<br />
something.<br />
3
4<br />
THE BRoTHERS<br />
Bro. Ted Ken<strong>NoZe</strong>dy, esq.<br />
cunning linguist<br />
Bro. Jesus Loves Me, This I <strong>NoZe</strong><br />
lorde mayor<br />
Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>’s Ark shekel keeper<br />
Bro. Tickle Me Elm<strong>NoZe</strong> media whore<br />
Bro. Thumbeli<strong>NoZe</strong> internet lad<br />
THE BORED OF GRAFT<br />
Bro. No Means <strong>NoZe</strong> resident female, model of desperation<br />
Bro. N-O-Z-E, etc if seen please let us know<br />
Bro. Telemu<strong>NoZe</strong> hecho en mexico<br />
THE BROTHER<br />
Bro. Kunt<strong>NoZe</strong> Kinte still here, still rockin’ out<br />
THAT GIRL<br />
Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>y Loves Chachi working her way through college<br />
THOSE GUYS<br />
Bro. <strong>The</strong><strong>NoZe</strong>ous Monk probably teaching your children<br />
Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong> sequitur legally obligated to keep away from your children<br />
Bro. Love Potion # <strong>NoZe</strong> still celebrating pi day<br />
Bro. Hurricane Katri<strong>NoZe</strong> demands we all stand when he enters the room<br />
EXILES<br />
Bro. Breakin’ 2 Electric<strong>NoZe</strong>aloo; Bro. Kurt Von<strong>NoZe</strong>gut; Bro. Absti<strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. Cliff’s NoZE; Bro. Grand <strong>NoZe</strong> Party;<br />
Bro. Fear and <strong>NoZe</strong>ing in Elm Mott; Bro. Fats Domi<strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. Roma<strong>NoZe</strong> Clef;<br />
Bro. Don’t Cry For Me Argenti<strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>tre Dame Walk-On; Bro. Charles K. PoNoZi;<br />
Bro. Obi Wan Ke<strong>NoZe</strong>bi; Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong> v. Wade; Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>potism<br />
Bro. Marlon Brand<strong>NoZe</strong>Bro; <strong>NoZe</strong> B4 Hoes;Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong> Def; Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>potism;<br />
Bro. Marlon Brand<strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. Le<strong>NoZe</strong>ard Peltier;Bro. Susan B. Anthe<strong>NoZe</strong>;<br />
Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>kita Khrushchev; Bro. Er<strong>NoZe</strong>to Guevara; Bro. V.I. Leni<strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>cobo Arbenz;<br />
Bro. Emilia<strong>NoZe</strong> Zapata; Bro. Subcomondante Marc<strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>son Mandela;<br />
Bro. Huey <strong>NoZe</strong>ton; Bro. Jesus of <strong>NoZe</strong>areth; Bro. Pablo <strong>NoZe</strong>ruda; Bro. Teddy <strong>NoZe</strong>velt<br />
Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>berto Duran; Bro. Manuel <strong>NoZe</strong>aga; Bro. SuperNoZa;<br />
Bro. W. Axl <strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. Ultramag<strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. Am<strong>NoZe</strong>ty International; Bro. Xe<strong>NoZe</strong>, Warrior Princess<br />
Bro. Co<strong>NoZe</strong> <strong>The</strong> Barbarian; Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>anderthal; Bro. Samir <strong>NoZe</strong>enanajar;<br />
Bro. Deus ex Machi<strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. Ten<strong>NoZe</strong>e Williams; Bro. Rocky Marcia<strong>NoZe</strong>;<br />
Bro. I<strong>NoZe</strong>briated; Bro. Quiz<strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. Spraypaintcantothe<strong>NoZe</strong>;<br />
Bro. Panch<strong>NoZe</strong> Villa; Bro. Obi-Wan Ke<strong>NoZe</strong>bi; Bro. Pallas Athe<strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. Jan<strong>NoZe</strong> Jameson<br />
FACULTY HOSTAGE<br />
Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong> Better<br />
NEOPHYTES<br />
Bro. Burlington <strong>NoZe</strong> Factory; Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>some Dove; Bro. Bear <strong>NoZe</strong>ssitites; Bro. Hunter <strong>NoZe</strong> Thompson<br />
Bro. Woman <strong>NoZe</strong>; Bro. Looks like <strong>NoZe</strong>some Dove; Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong> Dated A Chamber
Vitek’s<br />
1600 Speight Ave. 254.752.7591<br />
<strong>The</strong> <strong>NoZe</strong> <strong>Brotherhood</strong>’s<br />
Today marks a day where every pretentious trendy kid<br />
at Common Grounds can truly show their sympathies<br />
with whoever it is currently hip to care about, with the<br />
latest craze sweeping Baylor’s campus. Tomorrow’s<br />
“One Day Without Pants”<br />
is a prime example of<br />
the compassion, and<br />
charitable nature of this<br />
fine institution. Calluses<br />
may form on feet, but the<br />
region normally covered<br />
by pants is perpetually soft and vulnerable; and we are<br />
sure plenty of kids in Africa don’t wear pants either (but<br />
they cant show those ones on TV). So let everyone<br />
know the size of your compassion, the depth of your<br />
kindness, and the girth of your caring. “Day without<br />
pants” seeks to create a sense of what life is really like<br />
for the impoverished peoples of the world. When they<br />
When our cover girls go out, they don’t just look for class.<br />
“I want a place that let’s me get schmammered on a Sunday, Wednesday,<br />
and Tuesday night, and doesn’t ask questions. I go to Scruffy’s.<br />
Every single night.”<br />
A taste that says “Ring by Spring,”<br />
at a price that says, “Do you have a sister?”<br />
“One Day Without Pants”<br />
drive their dad’s Hummer to the local Starbucks, they<br />
have to do it without pants. When they walk to their<br />
business class at a private university, they have to do<br />
it without pants. It’s this kind of selfless ability to get<br />
“Oh I get it. You’re trying to say that the day without shoes was<br />
supposed to be about selflessness, but becomes a display of<br />
patronizing self indulgence if the only ‘charitable’ thing you do<br />
is misplace your footwear. I follow.”<br />
down on the level of the poor and really experience<br />
their plight, on an extremely superficial level for a short<br />
period of time. “I’m just trying to get laid” said Plano<br />
freshman Jimmy Nofrends, “Chicks really dig a guy<br />
who cares about Haiti or whatever this is for, I think the<br />
term the ATO guys taught me was ’panty peeler’.”<br />
Scruffy’s<br />
OPEN @ 9 P.M.<br />
1226 Speight<br />
5
6<br />
e a r L o r d e M a y o r<br />
Dear Lorde Mayor,<br />
I’m pregnant.<br />
Your scorned lover<br />
Dear AXO Spring class of 2010<br />
Are you sure? I need to see the test.<br />
Maybe it was a dud. Are you sure its<br />
mine? I mean, I’m not calling you a slut<br />
or anything, but I heard about the TKE<br />
mixer. Should we talk about this? This<br />
probably isn’t the best way to tell me<br />
something like that.<br />
Dear Lorde Mayor<br />
Now that the smoking bill hasn’t passed,<br />
what do you think Baylor will do about<br />
this horrendous smoking problem?<br />
How will I ever get to class without<br />
passing through these terribly thick<br />
clouds of smoke that engulf our campus.<br />
Coughing and Concerned<br />
Dear No One,<br />
You have to take your ban to the higher<br />
power of course. I suggest the regents,<br />
or if that doesn’t work perhaps<br />
some street style vigilante police system<br />
or something. I have some more<br />
complaints to go along with it. People<br />
chewing gum, people walking too fast,<br />
people eating in class, people with bad<br />
breath, people walking too slow, and<br />
people not sharing food are just a few<br />
of the personal choices that people<br />
make that I have issue with. Tell me,<br />
how comprehensive does the bill to limit<br />
free will have to be?<br />
Dear Lorde Mayor,<br />
Bitch and moan, bitch and moan.<br />
Whine, whine, whine.<br />
Persecuted and Abused<br />
Dear Burlington <strong>NoZe</strong> Factory<br />
We treat all the neophytes equally, now<br />
pay your damn dues.<br />
<strong>NoZe</strong> ON THE STREET ASKS:<br />
What do you think about Colbie Caillat headlinging DiadelNoZo?<br />
Her song “Bubbly”. It reminds me of the<br />
pleasure I could be experiencing if my<br />
boyfriend wasn’t Phi Chi.<br />
Susan Guillory, Chi Omega<br />
Girls love Colbie Caillat. I love girls. <strong>The</strong>refore I love Colbie<br />
Caillat. According to my 2304 Philosophy professor,<br />
that is an invalid statement. However, pretty sure my<br />
Philosophy professor has never gotten laid.<br />
John McTry-Too-Hard, Phi Delt Pledge<br />
Seriously, why can’t I open for her? It<br />
would be a match made in heaven,<br />
as my songs also contain implicit<br />
sexual themes.<br />
Bro. Jesus Loves Me, This I <strong>NoZe</strong>,<br />
struggling songwriter.
SMEAR CAMPAIGN<br />
Michael Wright has a lot of experience. No, not with those Kappa<br />
Deltas, though they are willing, and believe me, always ready, I’m not<br />
talking about them. I’m talking about political experience, but not in a<br />
real sense, in more of a “pat on the back” you’re making a “difference”<br />
sort of way. Not only that, but his Facebook campaign is paying off in<br />
spades, as this is being written he has over 250 followers, as well as<br />
endorsements by Kappa, <strong>The</strong>ta, and some friends from back home. .<br />
He’s pretty much going to be president, he even has Christopher Paxton’s<br />
endorsements, and we all know he has the Midas Touch. Except<br />
with those Zetas, Kappas, and generally any girl with lady parts.<br />
INTERNAL VICE<br />
PRESIDENT<br />
Ross Watson<br />
Michael Wright<br />
Ben Aguinaga<br />
So what’s the point of college anyhow? Attending classes? Learning things? Not to Mr. Aguilera.<br />
Eng2306 at 10 o’clock? “no thank you” says Ben Iguana. “I have to greet people outside of<br />
chapel at ten. And if I take few enough hours, maybe I can spend two more years campaigning<br />
right here on Baylor’s campus”.<br />
Ross win’s two unofficial <strong>NoZe</strong> <strong>Brotherhood</strong><br />
awards with his campaign. One for having<br />
the least original campaign posters ever, and<br />
for being the candidate most ignorant of the<br />
fact that anyone in the world can look at your<br />
facebook. Proven by this picture. Hope that’s<br />
just apple juice in your cup there Rossy, and<br />
if it isn’t, we’ll meet you at scruff’s to help you<br />
through your landslide loss.<br />
Micheal Lyssy<br />
Paul Baumgardner<br />
Paul believes Homosexuals should be<br />
able to give blood like anyone else,<br />
based on his assumption that they just<br />
like to have things put inside them. Paul<br />
can be seen wearing giant aviator sunglasses<br />
regardless of external weather<br />
conditions to hide his hideous acne. Not<br />
seen in this photo is the woman he is<br />
about to punch.<br />
Warning to everyone! This guy is catholic! If he is elected<br />
to any position we could end up with our judge Baylor statue replaced with<br />
Pope Benedict XIV, and wine and crackers put in chapel. Only one of those is<br />
a good idea. And also Mickey, what’s up with that stupid-ass green wig.<br />
Kate Williams<br />
Are you really going to put any kind of responsibility in the hands<br />
of someone who couldn’t turn in their ballot application on time? I<br />
think this young lady seriously overestimates the amount of effort<br />
people are willing to exert when filling out their ballot cards. Avoid<br />
this one so you don’t look like an idiot when you misspell her name<br />
on the write-in section. But hot damn! Have you seen those healthy<br />
gums of hers? It almost eclipses the fact that one of her teeth is the<br />
size of my hand.<br />
Cristina Galvan<br />
Christina is the shoe-in, that’s for sure, what with her name being the only one on the EVP<br />
ballot and all. A woman in touch with her -- OH DEAR LORD, IS THAT A BEAR? DON’T<br />
PANIC CHRISTINA, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. BEARS CAN SMELL FEAR. I HEAR THAT’S<br />
HOW THAT CHAMBER KID DIED. STAY CALM. I’LL CALL BEN AQUANOX, HE’LL SUIT<br />
THIS THING AWAY FOR SURE. REMOVE ANY COOKIES OR WAFERS YOU MAY OR MAY<br />
NOT BE HIDING ON YOUR PERSON AND GIVE THEM TO ME, I HAVEN’T EATEN ALL DAY.<br />
EXTERNAL VICE PRESIDENT<br />
STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT<br />
<strong>The</strong> Rope<br />
Apologizes<br />
.. if there were any<br />
candidates we missed<br />
in this process.<br />
Literally, we walked<br />
on to campus one<br />
night, read all the<br />
signs, and wrote this<br />
thing. If you’re not<br />
campaigning out there,<br />
you might as well not<br />
be campaigning at all.<br />
And seriously, good<br />
luck to anyone who<br />
lands one of these<br />
things. Not many<br />
people can pull off<br />
those private sessions<br />
with the regents, not<br />
with those constant<br />
calls for cocktails and<br />
lap dances.<br />
9
T H E R O P E<br />
a f t e r c l a s s e s<br />
Look, just because I’m the only one with lady<br />
bits (I didn’t say they were perfect, okay, I just<br />
said they were there) doesn’t mean that I was<br />
the only one that had realized things had gone<br />
too far. Sure, the mansion is a great setting to<br />
break everything in sight, take your pants off<br />
at the table and play ‘kick the pickle’, but when<br />
even Bro. N-O-Z-E’s dog’s nose wrinkled at the<br />
sight of the mess that had become our gathering<br />
place, I knew something had to be done. I tried<br />
with the Neophytes, but it was all in vain. <strong>The</strong>ir<br />
tiny brains aren’t developed enough yet to grasp<br />
complex sentences like, “pick up the trash and<br />
take it OUTside,” and they simply stared at me<br />
with dribbling mouths and vacant eyes. And with<br />
all the Brothers otherwise occupied with writing<br />
songs about masturbation, taunting Bro. Tickle<br />
Me Elm<strong>NoZe</strong>, and generally trying to thwart Bro.<br />
Thumbeli<strong>NoZe</strong>’s latest plot to plunder an all-girl<br />
primary school, only I was left up to the task.<br />
It seemed too great a task, even though I pride<br />
myself on being one of the boys and taking it<br />
like a man (I’m not sure if one is supposed to<br />
do both of those at once, but if one is, then one<br />
would be well-equipped for prison, or the <strong>NoZe</strong><br />
<strong>Brotherhood</strong>, I’m not sure which). So I turned<br />
to a trusty friend, a helpful ally, a calming influence,<br />
if you will…and entered Quaalaand. It’s a<br />
beautiful place, trust me. As I began my descent,<br />
the external environment died out, and there<br />
was only this: my hands, a damp rag, the sharp<br />
smell of rubbing alcohol. My system was shutting<br />
down, which at times caused nightmarish flashes:<br />
penis paintings, paintings painted by penises,<br />
penis envy, and Bro. <strong>NoZe</strong>’s Ark’s “box of special<br />
things.” Quaaludes put me in a state of extreme<br />
sleepiness, so as I went about my martyred<br />
task, I also had to fend off advances from Bro.<br />
Thumbeli<strong>NoZe</strong>. My scalp began to tingle ever so<br />
innocently, so I directed my attention to something<br />
that would hold my interest for at least two of the<br />
six hours I would be under, having taken a rather<br />
large dosage: the filth, grime, and whiskey that<br />
had lacquered the floor.<br />
10
Sing Reviews<br />
Because the Lariat didn’t break your spirits enough<br />
So we know no one cares anymore, but since<br />
we didn’t care to begin with, we thought it only<br />
fair that we get to return the torture by bringing<br />
back painful memories: memories of the 9<br />
Chamberpots pathetically sashaying across stage,<br />
memories of Zeta actually thinking it was a good<br />
idea to kill someone off in a seven-minute musical<br />
act, then resume singing and dancing like nothing’s<br />
wrong, memories of Dr. Browning making<br />
jokes…if you can call them that (you can’t). And<br />
on top of it all, it lasted well into 2012, yada yada,<br />
jokes about how long the show lasts, yada yada,<br />
end times. On to the next:<br />
Tri Delt “Fish-ish”<br />
If anything was fishy about this act (please, please,<br />
we know…but we’re above vagina jokes. That’s<br />
why we’re mentioning it now), it’s how robotic<br />
these Stepford Wives are. Year after year, their act<br />
is filled with female cyborgs dressed as some kind<br />
of brightly colored non-human entity.<br />
KOT “Guys and Dolls”<br />
<strong>The</strong>y won, but they were also dressed as dolls<br />
sooo…who REALLY won?<br />
KSig “Oily and Uncomfortable”<br />
Remember when the oil spurted out of the rig and<br />
it was incredibly anti-climactic, weak, pathetic, and<br />
girly? Need we say more?<br />
Sing Alliance “<strong>The</strong> Village Voice”<br />
Not a straight man here, but a good time had by<br />
all in this newspaper act.<br />
ADPi “Terrifying Card Games”<br />
Dear God, the only thing more frightening than<br />
ADPi’s are ADPi’s dressed as clowns. <strong>The</strong>y were<br />
jokers? Whatever, it was horrifying.<br />
Phi Chi “Overalls and Queers”<br />
<strong>The</strong> obvious answer to number 2’s question is Phi<br />
Chi. <strong>The</strong>y were the real winners, since they must<br />
have successfully convinced the judges that they<br />
were dressed as cowboys for Jesus, not because<br />
they like the looks of each other in tight jeans.<br />
ATO “Heroes and Villains on a Boat”<br />
Last year’s act, complete with fight scenes! Minus<br />
the girl, plus some pirate costumes, throw in<br />
some Journey and NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE!<br />
AChiO “Penguins”<br />
Was it awful? No. But that’s the biggest compliment<br />
we can give it.<br />
KKG “Give us money and we’ll shimmy”<br />
Hey Big Spender, originally a song meant for<br />
burlesque dancers (read: strippers) is performed<br />
by more high-dollar strippers (read: Kappas)<br />
masquerading as gold-diggers masquerading as<br />
college girls.<br />
Pi Phi<br />
“Ice Cream Cones and other Phallic Symbolism”<br />
Did anyone notice that sprinkle bottle light that<br />
came down was dick-shaped? And that the<br />
candles on their heads—also dick shaped?<br />
Never mind that they ripped off last year’s Tri Delt<br />
costumes…what the hell was up with all that<br />
phallic symbolism? Nevermind, you’re right, stupid<br />
question…<br />
Fiji<br />
“On the Road Giving Truckers Blow Jobs Again”<br />
Sadly, we thought you’d be better without <strong>The</strong>ta.<br />
But we were wrong. You were still better than<br />
<strong>The</strong>ta, though. Which isn’t saying much, but<br />
brings us to…<br />
<strong>The</strong>ta<br />
“Rings for Girls without Boyfriends”<br />
What, the, hell. Which judge did you have sex with<br />
to get into Pigskin? Let us re-phrase: which judge<br />
did you NOT have sex with? Let us re-phrase:<br />
which male within a 40-mile radius of Waco did<br />
you NOT have sex with?<br />
Pi Kap “Rescue me... Us.”<br />
<strong>The</strong> island we never want to be stranded on…<br />
ever.<br />
KXA<br />
“Big Apples, Big Ladies Dancing”<br />
Yikes. Double yikes. Just convincing everyone to<br />
never go to New York if it’s gonna be that goddamn<br />
annoying.<br />
Chi O<br />
“Towel Dresses with a side of Mild Nudity”<br />
<strong>The</strong> girls in yellow were practically naked…so we<br />
liked it.<br />
Zeta<br />
“Killing off Good American Boys”<br />
Since when is “dead soldier card” something that<br />
impresses judges in a musical act? Question: why<br />
didn’t he come HOME at the end (not in a coffin).<br />
Further question: why do you make us SO AWK-<br />
WARD EVERY YEAR, Zeta?<br />
SAE and Sigma Chi<br />
“Drunk, roughly 20 of us Dancing Drunk”<br />
Maybe the only redeeming qualities, replete with<br />
far tighter than necessary costumes and pelvic<br />
thrusting the likes of which Baylor has never seen.<br />
Unless you’re living in Collins. And then, that kind<br />
of dry humping is something you see on the daily.<br />
Chamber<br />
“No <strong>The</strong>me, Just Pathetic”<br />
It’s hard to be so much worse than every other<br />
act in Sing that you literally make us WANT to<br />
watch the other acts just to reassure us that yes,<br />
there are vestiges of talent at this university. But<br />
you guys did it. Congratulations.<br />
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