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Page 20 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band<br />
The Jeelie Piece <strong>Song</strong><br />
I'm a skyscraper wean, I live on<br />
the nineteenth flair;<br />
But I'm no' gaun oot tae play<br />
ony mair,<br />
'Cause since we moved tae<br />
Castlemilk, I'm wastin' away<br />
'Cause I'm gettin' wan meal less<br />
every day.<br />
Oh ye cannae fling pieces oot a<br />
twenty storey flat,<br />
Seven hundred hungry weans'll<br />
testify, to that.<br />
If it's butter, cheese or jeely, if<br />
the breid is plain or pan,<br />
The odds against it reaching<br />
earth are ninety-nine tae wan.<br />
On the first day ma maw flung<br />
oot a daud o' Hovis broon;<br />
It came skytin' oot the windae<br />
and went up insteid o' doon.<br />
Noo every twenty-seven hoors it<br />
comes back intae sight<br />
'Cause ma piece went intae<br />
orbit and became a satellite.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
On the second day ma maw<br />
flung me a piece oot wance<br />
again.<br />
It went and hut the pilot in a fast<br />
low-flying plane.<br />
He scraped it aff his goggles,<br />
shouting through the intercom,<br />
The Clydeside Reds huv giat<br />
me wi' a breid-an-jeely bomb'.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
On the third day ma maw<br />
thought she would try another<br />
throw.<br />
The Salvation Army band was<br />
staundin' doon below.<br />
'Onward, Christian Soldiers' was<br />
the piece they should've played,<br />
But the oompah man was<br />
playing oan ma piece an'<br />
marmalade.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
We're wrote away to Oxfam to<br />
try an' get some aid,<br />
An' a' the weans in Castlemilk<br />
have formed a 'piece brigade'.<br />
We're gonnae march to<br />
George's Square to demand our<br />
civil rights<br />
Like building nae mair hooses<br />
over piece-flinging height.<br />
Thanks<br />
Thank you for purchasing<br />
the Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling<br />
Pipe Band <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong>. The<br />
band is a non-profit making<br />
organisation reliant on the<br />
goodwill of corporate<br />
sponsors and members and<br />
your small contribution will<br />
ensure we continue for<br />
another 30 years.<br />
For more information on the<br />
Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe<br />
Band, visit our website<br />
www.scottishpipeband.co.uk<br />
© Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling<br />
Pipe Band 2008<br />
<strong>Burgh</strong> <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong><br />
All the favourites…<br />
! Father Abraham<br />
! The Tampax Factory<br />
The Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of<br />
Stirling Pipe Band<br />
! And many, many more…<br />
Band Bus Edition<br />
Produced by the Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Social & Fundraising Committee
Page 2 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band<br />
TABLE OF CONTENTS<br />
Flower of Scotland / Donald Where’s Yer Troosers 3<br />
Caledonia / You are our Gerry 4<br />
Sam the Skull 5<br />
Bonnie Wee Jeannie McColl / Yer Jacobites by Name 6<br />
Bog Down in the Valley-O 7<br />
Wild Rover / Signing in the Rain 8<br />
I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) / Under a Scotsman’s Kilt 9<br />
Evil Scotsman / Loch Lomond 10<br />
Shang-A-Lang / Scots Wha Hae 11<br />
Don’t Stop Me Now! 12<br />
Father Abraham / MacDonald’s Farm 13<br />
Wild Rover 14<br />
Sir Jasper / Lion Sleeps Tonight 15<br />
George Michael’s Faith (Alternative) / Bestiality's Best 16<br />
Follow the Band / Lady in Red 17<br />
Tampax Factory 18<br />
Tribute 19<br />
The Jeelie Piece <strong>Song</strong> 20<br />
Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 19<br />
Tribute<br />
[Spoken]<br />
This is the greatest and best<br />
song in the world... Tribute.<br />
Long time ago me and my<br />
brother Kyle here,<br />
we was hitchhikin' down a long<br />
and lonesome road.<br />
All of a sudden, there shined a<br />
shiny demon... in the middle...<br />
of the road.<br />
And he said!<br />
"Play the best song in the world,<br />
or I'll eat your soul."<br />
Well me and Kyle, we looked at<br />
each other,<br />
and we each said... "Okay."<br />
And we played the first thing<br />
that came to our heads,<br />
Just so happened to be,<br />
The Best <strong>Song</strong> in the World, it<br />
was The Best <strong>Song</strong> in the<br />
World.<br />
Look into my eyes and it's easy<br />
to see<br />
One and one make two, two<br />
and one make three,<br />
It was destiny.<br />
Once every hundred-thousand<br />
years or so,<br />
When the sun doth shine and<br />
the moon doth glow<br />
And the grass doth grow...<br />
Needless to say, the beast was<br />
stunned.<br />
Whip-crack went his Whoopy<br />
tail,<br />
And the beast was done.<br />
He asked us: "(snort) Be you<br />
angels?"<br />
And we said, "Nay. We are but<br />
men."<br />
Rock!<br />
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,<br />
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!<br />
This is not The Greatest <strong>Song</strong> in<br />
the World, no.<br />
This is just a tribute.<br />
Couldn't remember The<br />
Greatest <strong>Song</strong> in the World, no,<br />
no.<br />
This is a tribute, oh, to The<br />
Greatest <strong>Song</strong> in the World,<br />
All right! It was The Greatest<br />
<strong>Song</strong> in the World,<br />
All right! It was the best<br />
muthafuckin' song the greatest<br />
song in the world.<br />
And the peculiar thing is this my<br />
friends:<br />
the song we sang on that fateful<br />
night it didn't actually sound<br />
anything like this song.<br />
This is just a tribute! You gotta<br />
believe it!<br />
And I wish you were there! Just<br />
a matter of opinion.<br />
Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin',<br />
So surprised to find you can't<br />
stop it.<br />
All right! All right!
Page 18 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 3<br />
Tampax Factory<br />
Far Awa-a-a-a-y, the Tampax<br />
Factory<br />
Shout out your order loud and<br />
clear (loud and clear)*<br />
Large Medium Small<br />
Ladies we supply them all<br />
when the end of the month<br />
comes around...<br />
You can tell by the smell that<br />
she isnae very well<br />
When the end of the month<br />
comes around.<br />
U can tell by her moaning<br />
that she's seeping heamoglobin<br />
when the end of the month<br />
comes around...<br />
[Chorus]<br />
U can tell by her legs<br />
that she is losing eggs<br />
When the end of the month<br />
comes around..<br />
[Chorus]<br />
U can tell from the swab<br />
that there's no room for yer<br />
knob<br />
when the end of the month<br />
comes around...<br />
[Chorus]<br />
U can tell by the taste<br />
that it isn't salmon paste<br />
When the end of the month<br />
comes around..<br />
[Chorus]<br />
U can tell by the chair<br />
that she's been sitting there<br />
when the end of the month<br />
comes around..<br />
[Chorus]<br />
You can tell by the rope<br />
that you haven't got a hope<br />
when the end of the month<br />
comes around....<br />
[Chorus]<br />
You can tell by her frown<br />
That you'll have to go for brown<br />
when the end of the month<br />
comes around....<br />
[Chorus]<br />
You can tell you've gone too far<br />
when you're eating caviar<br />
when the end of the month<br />
comes around..<br />
[Chorus]<br />
You can tell from the string<br />
that it's going up her ring<br />
when the end of the month<br />
comes around....<br />
[Chorus]<br />
You can tell from the flies<br />
That are swarming round her<br />
thighs<br />
when the end of the month<br />
comes around....<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Join the <strong>Burgh</strong> Social<br />
and Fundraising Team<br />
Contact Alan Buchan or<br />
Kevin Scotland today!<br />
Flower of Scotland<br />
O Flower of Scotland,<br />
When will we see<br />
Your like again,<br />
That fought and died for,<br />
Your wee bit Hill and Glen,<br />
And stood against him,<br />
Proud Edward's Army,<br />
And sent him homeward,<br />
To think again.<br />
The Hills are bare now,<br />
And autumn leaves<br />
lie thick and still,<br />
O'er land that is lost now,<br />
Which those so dearly held,<br />
That stood against him,<br />
Proud Edward's Army,<br />
And sent him homeward,<br />
To think again.<br />
Those days are past now,<br />
And in the past<br />
they must remain,<br />
But we can still rise now,<br />
And be the nation again,<br />
That stood against him,<br />
Proud Edward's Army,<br />
And sent him homeward,<br />
To think again.<br />
O Flower of Scotland,<br />
When will we see<br />
your like again,<br />
That fought and died for,<br />
Your wee bit Hill and Glen,<br />
And stood against him,<br />
Proud Edward's Army,<br />
And sent him homeward,<br />
To think again.<br />
Donald Where’s Yer<br />
Troosers<br />
I've just come down from the<br />
Isle of Skye, I’m no very big and<br />
I'm awful shy,<br />
And the lassies shout when I go<br />
by, " Donald where’s your<br />
troosers."<br />
Let the wind blow high, let the<br />
wind blow low, through the<br />
streets in my kilt I'll go,<br />
And all the lassies shout hello<br />
Donald where's your troosers.<br />
A Lassie took me to a ball<br />
And it was slippery in the hall<br />
And I was feart that I would fall<br />
Fur I hadnae on ma' troosers<br />
[Chorus]<br />
I went down to London Town<br />
And I had some fun in the<br />
underground The ladies turned<br />
their heads around Saying<br />
"Donald where are your<br />
trousers".<br />
[Chorus]<br />
To wear the kilt is my delight<br />
It isna wrong, I know its right<br />
The islanders would get a fright<br />
If they saw me in the troosers<br />
[Chorus]<br />
They'd like to wed me everywan<br />
Just let them catch me if they<br />
can You cannae tak’ the breeks<br />
aff a Hielan’ man<br />
And I don't wear the troosers<br />
[Chorus]
Page 4 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 17<br />
Caledonia<br />
I don't know, If you can see, the<br />
changes that have come over<br />
me<br />
In these last few days I've been<br />
afraid, that I might slip away,<br />
But I’ve been telling old stories,<br />
singing songs<br />
That make me think about<br />
where I come from<br />
And that’s the reason why I<br />
seem, so far away today<br />
Let me tell you that I love you,<br />
and I think about you all the<br />
time<br />
Caledonia you're calling me,<br />
and now I'm going home<br />
But if I should become a<br />
stranger<br />
you know that would make me<br />
more than sad<br />
Caledonia's been everything,<br />
I've ever had<br />
I have moved, and I have kept<br />
on moving, proved the point that<br />
I need proving<br />
Lost some friends that I hated<br />
losing, found others on the way<br />
I have kissed the ladies and left<br />
them crying<br />
Stolen dreams yes there is no<br />
denying,<br />
I have traveled hard times with<br />
conscience flying, somewhere<br />
in the wind<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Now I'm sitting here, before the<br />
fire, the empty room hold no<br />
desire<br />
The flames that couldn’t get any<br />
higher well they’ve withered now<br />
they’ve gone<br />
But I'm still thinking my way is<br />
clear,<br />
And I know what I’ll do tomorrow<br />
When the hands are shaking<br />
and the kisses flow, well I will<br />
disappear<br />
[Chorus]<br />
You are our Gerry<br />
You are our Gerry<br />
Our only Gerry.<br />
You make us happy<br />
When skies are grey.<br />
WHEN SKIES ARE GREY!<br />
You'll never know,.,<br />
How much we love you.<br />
Please don't take our Gerry<br />
away<br />
[Repeat with other names]<br />
Lambrini Girls Just<br />
Wanna Have Fun!<br />
Want to be a real Lambrini<br />
Girl? Join TODAY!<br />
Follow the Band<br />
Singing…hey jig-a-jig, fuck a<br />
little pig, follow the band..<br />
Follow the band with your cock<br />
in your hands.<br />
Singing…hey jig-a-jig, fuck a<br />
little pig, follow the band.<br />
Follow the band all the way.<br />
My Wife is a builder, a builder, a<br />
builder. A very fine builder is<br />
she. All day long she lays<br />
bricks, lays bricks, lays bricks<br />
and when she comes home she<br />
lays me.<br />
Carpenter: pounds nails,<br />
pounds me<br />
Baker: kneads dough, kneads<br />
me<br />
Skier: jumps humps, humps me<br />
Jockey: rides horses, rides me<br />
Plumber: sucks pipes, sucks me<br />
Pianist: fingers keys, fingers me<br />
Joiner: Screws wood: Screws<br />
me<br />
Postie: licks stamps: licks me!<br />
Farmer: forks straw: forks me!<br />
Ironmonger: pokes fires: pokes<br />
me!<br />
Taxidermist: stuffs animals:<br />
stuffs me!<br />
Diver: goes down: can't be<br />
bothered!<br />
My Wife is a fucker, a fucker, a<br />
fucker. A very fine fucker is she.<br />
All day long she fucks men,<br />
fucks men, fucks men,<br />
And when she comes home she<br />
makes tea<br />
Lady in Red<br />
She’s ma lady in red (Lead)<br />
She’s ma lady in red (All)<br />
She makes a living in her bed<br />
(Lead)<br />
She makes a living in her bed<br />
(All)<br />
Singing na na naanaa!<br />
Na nanaa nana nanaa<br />
...green, she's a shagging<br />
machine.<br />
…broon, she likes to do it up<br />
and doon.<br />
…maroon, she does a jobby in<br />
ma room.<br />
…plum, she stuck a finger up<br />
ma bum.<br />
…peach, oh we did it on the<br />
beach.<br />
…glitter, and she takes it up the<br />
shitter.<br />
…grey, she shags me all day in<br />
the hay.<br />
…navy, oh her public hair is<br />
wavy.<br />
…black, she makes a living on<br />
her back..<br />
...gold, but I think she was too<br />
old.<br />
...pink, and she makes my finger<br />
stink.<br />
...white, and she swallowed it<br />
down right.<br />
<strong>Burgh</strong> Website<br />
Pictures, info, news and<br />
corporate brochure available<br />
online at…<br />
www.scottishpipeband.co.uk
Page 16 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 5<br />
George Micheal’s Faith<br />
(Alternative)<br />
When I caught you in the gents,<br />
playing with parts of your body,<br />
I know not everybody is a<br />
wanker like you,<br />
When I pulled out my cuffs, you<br />
thought that I was kinky,<br />
pulled out your tinky-winky said<br />
what you gonna do!<br />
You've got to reconsider your<br />
foolish motion, pick your<br />
underpants up off the floor.<br />
I’ve got my squad car waiting,<br />
stop mastur-bating, spread your<br />
2 legs George and put your<br />
hands against the wall!<br />
Cos you had to masturbate woo<br />
you had to masturbate!!<br />
When they took you to the cells,<br />
you said you wanted a favour,<br />
you needed some toilet paper,<br />
cos you messed your<br />
underpants.<br />
And when they took you to the<br />
court, they said please raise<br />
your right hand you said I’m<br />
sorry I cant, cos I’ve got<br />
wankers cramp.<br />
I’ve got my squad car waiting<br />
stop masturbating spread your 2<br />
legs George and put your hands<br />
against the wall, cos you had to<br />
masturbate woo you had to<br />
masturbate"!!!<br />
Bestiality’s Best<br />
Bestiality's best, boys,<br />
Bestiality's best.(shag a<br />
wallaby!)<br />
Bestiality's best, boys,<br />
Bestiality's best.<br />
Have a screw with a shrew,<br />
boys,<br />
Have a screw with a shrew,<br />
Have a screw with a shrew,<br />
boys,<br />
Have a screw with a shrew.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Intercourse with a horse, boys,<br />
Intercourse with a horse,<br />
Intercourse with a horse, boys,<br />
Intercourse with a horse<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Put your pole up a mole, boys,<br />
Put your pole up a mole<br />
Put your pole up a mole, boys,<br />
Put your pole up a mole.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Throw your muck up a duck,<br />
boys,<br />
Throw your muck up a duck,<br />
Throw your muck up a duck,<br />
boys,<br />
Throw your muck up a duck.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Stick your log up a dog, boys,<br />
Stick your log up a dog,<br />
Stick your log up a dog, boys,<br />
Stick your log up a dog.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Sam the Skull<br />
I'm a cat, I'm a cat, I'm a Glesga<br />
cat and my name is Sam the<br />
Skull.<br />
I've got claws in ma paws like a<br />
crocodiles jaws and a heid like a<br />
fermers bull.<br />
I'm no the kind o' cat that sits<br />
oan the mat nor the kind that<br />
you gie a hug<br />
I'm the kind o' cat that strangles<br />
the rats and even the<br />
occasional dug.<br />
I roam aroon doon in<br />
Shettlestoon where they a' know<br />
me by sight<br />
"Here's the Skull here's the<br />
Skull" you can hear them yell as<br />
they vanish into the night.<br />
The polis station doon oor way<br />
has baurs oan the windae sull<br />
It's no tae keep the prisoners in<br />
its tae keep oot Sam the Skull.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Well one fine day no so long<br />
ago when they a' had had their<br />
full<br />
They sent for the S.S.P.C.A. tae<br />
come and catch the Skull<br />
There’s naebody kin get oot<br />
while he's roamin aboot chasin'<br />
a' the weans up the close,<br />
peein' oan the stairs scratchin'<br />
his erse and sittin there pickin'<br />
his nose.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Well oot came aboot hauf past<br />
ten in their wee blue Escort van<br />
Right roon the back, wan wae a<br />
sack and wan wae a mallet in<br />
his haund.<br />
I watched them run roon the<br />
back o' the hoose and I casually<br />
strolled to the van<br />
Jumped in the front, I was off,<br />
everything had gone to plan.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Now you'll hear them them say<br />
doon Shettlestoon way,<br />
"Whatever happened tae Sam<br />
the Skull ?"<br />
He had claws in his paws like a<br />
crocodiles jaws and a heid like a<br />
fermers bull<br />
Well you can tell them from me<br />
that I'm still runnin' free and<br />
never a day is dull<br />
It might sound absurd but I'm<br />
livin wae a burd in a single end<br />
in Maryhill.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Adopt a Drummer<br />
For just £2 per month, we<br />
can retrain a disadvantaged<br />
drummer to play a real<br />
instrument.<br />
Drummers are people too…
Page 6 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 15<br />
Bonnie Wee Jeannie<br />
McColl<br />
A fine wee lass, a bon-nie wee<br />
lass, Is bon-nie wee Jeannie Mc<br />
- Coll;<br />
I gave her my moth-ers en -<br />
gage - ment ring and a bon-nie<br />
wee tar - tan shawl.<br />
I met her at a wadd - in' In the<br />
Co o-per - a - tive Hall<br />
I wis the best man and she was<br />
the bell of the ball.<br />
The very first nicht I met her,<br />
She was awfy, awfy shy,<br />
The rain cam' pourin' doon, But<br />
she was happy, so was I.<br />
We ran like mad for shelter, An'<br />
we landed up a stair,<br />
The rain cam' poorin' oot o' ma<br />
breeks, But och I didna care:<br />
For she's .........[Chorus]<br />
Noo I've wad my Jeannie, An'<br />
bairnies we have three,<br />
Two dochters and a braw wee<br />
lad, That sits upon my knee.<br />
They're richt wee holy terrors,<br />
An' they're never still for lang,<br />
But they sit an' listen every<br />
nicht, While I sing them this<br />
sang:<br />
For she's .........[Chorus]<br />
Band on Bebo<br />
Be a groupie<br />
TODAY!<br />
Join us at…<br />
bebo.com/ScottishPipeBand<br />
Ye Jacobites By Name<br />
Ye Jacobites by name, lend an<br />
ear lend an ear<br />
Ye Jacobites by name lend an<br />
ear<br />
Ye Jacobites by name your<br />
faults I will proclaim<br />
Your doctrines I will blame you<br />
will hear you will hear<br />
Your doctrines I will blame you<br />
will hear<br />
What is right and what is wrong<br />
by the law by the law<br />
What is right and what is wrong<br />
by the law<br />
What is right and what is wrong<br />
a short sword and a long<br />
A weak arm and a strong for to<br />
draw for to draw<br />
A weak arm and a strong for to<br />
draw<br />
What makes heroic strife famed<br />
afar famed afar<br />
What makes heroic strife famed<br />
afar<br />
What makes heroic strife to<br />
whet the assasins knife<br />
Or hunts a parents life wi'<br />
bloody war bloody war<br />
Or hunts a parents life wi'<br />
bloody war<br />
Then leave your schemes alone<br />
in the state in the state<br />
Then leave your schemes alone<br />
in the state<br />
Then leave your schemes alone<br />
adore the morning sun<br />
And leave a man alone to his<br />
fate to his fate<br />
And leave a man alone to his<br />
fate.<br />
Sir Jasper<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do not touch me!<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do not touch me!.<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do not touch me!.<br />
As she lay between the linen<br />
sheets with nothing on at all.<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do not touch!!<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do not touch!!<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do not touch!!<br />
As she lay between the linen<br />
sheets with nothing on at all.<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do not!!!<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do not!!!<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do not!!!<br />
As she lay between the linen<br />
sheets with nothing on at all.<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do!!!!<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do!!!!<br />
Oh Sir Jasper do!!!!<br />
As she lay between the linen<br />
sheets with nothing on at all.<br />
Oh Sir Jasper!!!!!<br />
Oh Sir Jasper!!!!!<br />
Oh Sir Jasper!!!!!<br />
As she lay between the linen<br />
sheets with nothing on at all.<br />
Oh Sir!!!!!!<br />
Oh Sir!!!!!!<br />
Oh Sir!!!!!!<br />
As she lay between the linen<br />
sheets with nothing on at all.<br />
Oh!!!!!!!<br />
Oh!!!!!!!<br />
Oh!!!!!!!<br />
As she lay between the linen<br />
sheets with nothing on at all.<br />
Lion Sleeps Tonight<br />
A wimoweh, a-wimoweh awimoweh,<br />
a wimoweh<br />
A wimoweh, a-wimoweh awimoweh,<br />
a wimoweh<br />
A wimoweh, a-wimoweh awimoweh,<br />
a wimoweh<br />
A wimoweh, a-wimoweh awimoweh,<br />
a wimoweh<br />
In the jungle the mighty jungle<br />
the lion sleeps tonight<br />
In the jungle the quiet jungle the<br />
lion sleeps tonight<br />
Near the village the peaceful<br />
village the lion sleeps tonight<br />
Near the village the quiet village<br />
the lion sleeps tonight<br />
Hush my darling, don't fear my<br />
darling. The lion sleeps tonight.<br />
Hush my darling, don't fear my<br />
darling. The lion sleeps tonight.<br />
LOST<br />
Have you seen this feather<br />
bonnet???<br />
Last seen in Brussels<br />
REWARD !100,000<br />
Call 1800-195-2942
Page 14 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 7<br />
Wild Rover<br />
I've been a wild rover for many's<br />
the year<br />
I've spent all me money on<br />
whiskey and beer<br />
But now I'm returning with gold<br />
in great store<br />
And I never will play the wild<br />
rover no more<br />
And it's No, Nay, never,<br />
No, nay never no more<br />
Will I play the wild rover,<br />
No never no more<br />
I went in to an alehouse I used<br />
to frequent<br />
And I told the landlady me<br />
money was spent<br />
I asked her for credit, she<br />
answered me nay<br />
Such a customer as you I can<br />
have any day<br />
And it's No, Nay, never,<br />
No, nay never no more<br />
Will I play the wild rover,<br />
No never no more<br />
I took up from my pocket, ten<br />
sovereigns bright<br />
And the landlady's eyes opened<br />
wide with delight<br />
She says "I have whiskeys and<br />
wines of the best<br />
And the words that you told me<br />
were only in jest"<br />
And it's No, Nay, never,<br />
No, nay never no more<br />
Will I play the wild rover,<br />
No never no more<br />
I'll go home to my parents,<br />
confess what I've done<br />
And I'll ask them to pardon their<br />
prodigal son<br />
And, when they've caressed me<br />
as oft times before<br />
I never will play the wild rover<br />
no more<br />
And it's No, Nay, never,<br />
No, nay never no more<br />
Will I play the wild rover,<br />
No never no more<br />
Stirling Line Dancing<br />
Spin your partner<br />
For a root-tooting good time,<br />
come along every Mon Night<br />
Drummers…<br />
Drinking since 1977<br />
Bog Down In The Valley-O<br />
Hey-ho the rattlin’ bog, the bog<br />
down in the valley-o.<br />
Hey-ho the rattlin’ bog, the bog<br />
down in the valley-o.<br />
Now in this bog there was a<br />
tree, a rare tree, a rattlin' tree,<br />
A tree in the bog, in the bog<br />
down in the valley-o.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Now on this tree there was a<br />
limb, a rare limb, a rattlin' limb,<br />
A limb on the tree, and the tree<br />
in the bog, in the bog down in<br />
the valley-o.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Now on this limb there was a<br />
branch, a rare branch, a rattlin'<br />
branch, a branch on the limb,<br />
and the limb on the tree, and<br />
the tree in the bog, in the bog<br />
down in the valley-o.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Now on this branch there was a<br />
twig, a rare twig, a rattlin' twig,<br />
A twig on the branch, and the<br />
branch on the limb, and the limb<br />
on the tree, and the tree in the<br />
bog, in the bog down in the<br />
valley-o.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Now on this twig there was a<br />
leaf, a rare leaf, a rattlin' leaf,<br />
A leaf on the twig, and the twig<br />
on the branch, and the branch<br />
on the limb, and the limb on the<br />
tree,<br />
And the tree in the bog, in the<br />
bog down in the valley-o.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Now on this leaf there was a<br />
nest, a rare nest, a rattlin' nest,<br />
A nest on the leaf, and the leaf<br />
on the twig,<br />
And the twig on the branch, and<br />
the branch on the limb,<br />
And the limb on the tree, and<br />
the tree in the bog, in the bog<br />
down in the valley-o.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Now on this nest there was an<br />
egg, a rare egg, a rattlin' egg,<br />
An egg on the nest, an nest on<br />
the leaf, and the leaf on the<br />
twig, and the twig on the branch,<br />
a branch on the limb, a limb on<br />
the tree, and the tree in the bog,<br />
in the bog down in the valley-o.<br />
[Chorus]<br />
[let the song go on, and<br />
on…speckle, bird, feather, flea,<br />
wing, ameoba, pipe band]<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Cider Appreciaion<br />
Society<br />
Call 1800-195-2942
Page 8 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 13<br />
Wild Rover<br />
I've been a wild rover for many's<br />
the year<br />
I've spent all me money on<br />
whiskey and beer<br />
But now I'm returning with gold<br />
in great store<br />
And I never will play the wild<br />
rover no more<br />
And it's No, Nay, never,<br />
No, nay never no more<br />
Will I play the wild rover,<br />
No never no more<br />
I went in to an alehouse I used<br />
to frequent<br />
And I told the landlady me<br />
money was spent<br />
I asked her for credit, she<br />
answered me nay<br />
Such a customer as you I can<br />
have any day<br />
[Chorus]<br />
I took up from my pocket, ten<br />
sovereigns bright<br />
And the landlady's eyes opened<br />
wide with delight<br />
She says "I have whiskeys and<br />
wines of the best<br />
And the words that you told me<br />
were only in jest"<br />
[Chorus]<br />
I'll go home to my parents,<br />
confess what I've done<br />
And I'll ask them to pardon their<br />
prodigal son<br />
And, when they've caressed me<br />
as oft times before I never will<br />
play the wild rover no more<br />
[Chorus]<br />
Singing in the Rain<br />
We're singing in the rain,<br />
Just singing in the rain,<br />
What a glorious feeling,<br />
We're hap! hap! happy again,<br />
Verse/action: Hold it! Hold it!<br />
Your arms are out!<br />
Ah-ruta-cha, ruta-cha, ruta-chacha<br />
Ah-ruta-cha, ruta-cha, ruta-chacha<br />
[Repeat chorus adding new line<br />
and action each time]<br />
Your thumbs are up!<br />
Elbows are bent!<br />
Your chest is out!<br />
Your stomach is in!<br />
Your bum is out!<br />
Your tongue is out!<br />
Your Standing up!<br />
Your kness together!<br />
Single Tonight?<br />
Looking for a chat or maybe<br />
something more? Buchan is<br />
waiting to answer your call.<br />
Call 1800-195-2942<br />
Calls cost £1.49 per minute<br />
Father Abraham<br />
Father Abraham had seven<br />
sons,<br />
Seven sons had Father<br />
Abraham,<br />
And he never smiled,<br />
And he never cried,<br />
All he did was go like this .<br />
And to my right! (Right arm)<br />
And to my left (Left Arm)<br />
And to my right! (Right leg)<br />
And to my left (Left leg)<br />
And bums are out (bum out)<br />
And with the heid (Head but)<br />
And with a HEEEE! (hump<br />
pelvis)<br />
And a HUUHH! (turn around, lift<br />
kilt/drop pants, moon)<br />
Gem’s <strong>Burgh</strong> Brownies<br />
“They’re Choc-tastic!”<br />
MacDonald’s Farm<br />
Old MacDonald had a farm,<br />
Ee-ei-ee-ei-oh.<br />
And on this farm he had some<br />
cows, Ee-ei-ee-ei-oh.<br />
And the cows were cowing it<br />
here,<br />
And the cows were cowing it<br />
there,<br />
Cowing it here, cowing it there,<br />
Cowing it everywhere<br />
Old MacDonald had a farm,<br />
Ee-ei-ee-ei-oh,<br />
And on this farm he had some<br />
bulls, Ee-ei-ee-ei-oh,<br />
And the turkeys were gobbling<br />
here,<br />
And the turkeys were gobbling<br />
there,<br />
Gobbling here, gobbling there,<br />
gobbling everywhere<br />
[More versus]<br />
Bulls were bulling<br />
Dragons were dragging<br />
The Wonder Thong<br />
Only £1.95<br />
Available at most Primarks
Page 12 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 9<br />
Don’t Stop Me Now<br />
Tonight I'm gonna have myself<br />
a real good time<br />
I feel alive and the world it's<br />
turning inside out Yeah!<br />
I'm floating around in ecstasy<br />
So don't stop me now don't stop<br />
me<br />
'Cause I'm having a good time<br />
having a good time<br />
I'm a shooting star leaping<br />
through the skies<br />
Like a tiger defying the laws of<br />
gravity<br />
I'm a racing car passing by like<br />
Lady Godiva<br />
I'm gonna go go go<br />
There's no stopping me<br />
I'm burning through the skies<br />
Two hundred degrees<br />
That's why they call me Mister<br />
Fahrenheit<br />
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light<br />
I wanna make a supersonic<br />
man of you<br />
Don't stop me now I'm having<br />
such a good time<br />
I'm having a ball don't stop me<br />
now<br />
If you wanna have a good time<br />
just give me a call<br />
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm<br />
having a good time)<br />
Don't stop me now (Yes I'm<br />
having a good time)<br />
I don't want to stop at all<br />
I'm a rocket ship on my way to<br />
Mars<br />
On a collision course<br />
I am a satellite I'm out of control<br />
I am a sex machine ready to<br />
reload<br />
Like an atom bomb about to<br />
Oh oh oh oh oh explode<br />
I'm burning through the skies<br />
Two hundred degrees<br />
That's why they call me Mister<br />
Fahrenheit<br />
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light<br />
I wanna make a supersonic<br />
woman out of you<br />
Don't stop me don't stop me<br />
don't stop me<br />
Hey hey hey!<br />
Don't stop me don't stop me<br />
Ooh ooh ooh (I like it)<br />
Don't stop me have a good time<br />
good time<br />
Don't stop me don't stop me<br />
Ooh ooh Alright<br />
I'm burning through the skies<br />
Two hundred degrees<br />
That's why they call me Mister<br />
Fahrenheit<br />
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light<br />
I wanna make a supersonic<br />
woman of you<br />
Don't stop me now I'm having<br />
such a good time<br />
I'm having a ball don't stop me<br />
now<br />
If you wanna have a good time<br />
Just give me a call<br />
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm<br />
having a good time)<br />
Don't stop me now (Yes I'm<br />
having a good time)<br />
I don't wanna stop at all<br />
I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)<br />
When I wake up yeah I know I'm<br />
gonna be<br />
I'm gonna be the man who<br />
wakes up next to you<br />
When I go out yeah I know I'm<br />
gonna be<br />
I'm gonna be the man who goes<br />
along with you<br />
If I get drunk yes I know I'm<br />
gonna be<br />
I'm gonna be the man who gets<br />
drunk next to you<br />
And if I haver yeah I know I'm<br />
gonna be<br />
I'm gonna be the man who's<br />
havering to you<br />
But I would walk 500 miles<br />
And I would walk 500 more<br />
Just to be the man who walked<br />
1000 miles<br />
To fall down at your door<br />
When I'm working yes I know<br />
I'm gonna be<br />
I'm gonna be the man who's<br />
working hard for you<br />
And when the money comes in<br />
for the work I'll do<br />
I'll pass almost every penny on<br />
to you<br />
When I come home yeah I know<br />
I'm gonna be<br />
I'm gonna be the man who<br />
comes back home to you<br />
And if I grow old well I know I'm<br />
gonna be<br />
I'm gonna be the man who's<br />
growing old with you<br />
But I would walk 500 miles<br />
And I would walk 500 more<br />
Just to be the man who walked<br />
1000 miles<br />
To fall down at your door<br />
When I'm lonely yes I know I'm<br />
gonna be<br />
I'm gonna be the man whose<br />
lonely without you<br />
When I'm dreaming yes I know<br />
I'm gonna dream<br />
Dream about the time when I'm<br />
with you.<br />
But I would walk 500 miles<br />
And I would walk 500 more<br />
Just to be the man who walked<br />
1000 miles<br />
To fall down at your door<br />
Under a Scotsman's Kilt<br />
I wonder what's under a<br />
Scotsman's kilt<br />
A-wang, a-wang, a-wang, awang<br />
Tickle me, tickle me, you know<br />
where<br />
Under my kilt and in my hair<br />
But if you tickle me in the wrong<br />
place<br />
I'll lift up my kilt and I'll piss in<br />
your face.
Page 10 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 11<br />
Evil Scotsman<br />
If your looking for trouble,<br />
Your in the right place,<br />
Don't look at me like that, or i'll<br />
headbutt your face<br />
I’m a mean motherfucker,<br />
I was born that way,<br />
and just because i wear a skirt<br />
don't think i'm fuckin' gay.<br />
Cause I'm an evil Scotsman,<br />
and Jimmy is my name,<br />
I'm a sheep shagger from<br />
Aberdeen,<br />
and causing pain is my game.<br />
Now if your a woman,<br />
married or not,<br />
al take all your kit off and I’ll<br />
dive in your mot,<br />
i'll take your legs and spread<br />
them wide,<br />
and then I’ll put a wet suit on<br />
and shag you from inside,<br />
I’m an evil Scotsman,<br />
and My name is Jock<br />
and the girls are all gaggin' for a<br />
portion of my 10" cock,<br />
Yes I’m an evil Scotsman<br />
and my name is Jock<br />
I’ve got one hand in my pocket<br />
and I’m playing with my 10"<br />
cock<br />
I’m an evil Scotsman,<br />
and Jock is my name,<br />
if you don't like the rules don't<br />
play the fuckin' game,<br />
Yes, i'm an evil Scotsman<br />
my name is Jock!<br />
and the girls are just dying for a<br />
portion of my 10" cock.<br />
OH Yeah,<br />
Fucker,<br />
Wankers,<br />
Knob Heads.<br />
Thankyou.<br />
Loch Lomond<br />
By yon bonnie banks and by<br />
yon bonnie braes,<br />
Where the sun shines on Loch<br />
Lomond.<br />
Where me and tea tree my true<br />
love spent many days<br />
On the banks of Loch Lomond.<br />
Too sad we parted in yon shady<br />
glen,<br />
On the steep sides of Ben<br />
Lomond.<br />
Where the broken heart knows<br />
no second spring,<br />
Resigned we must be while<br />
we’re parting.<br />
You’ll take the high road and I’ll<br />
take the low road,<br />
And I’ll be in Scotland afore you.<br />
Where me and my true love will<br />
never meet again,<br />
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of<br />
Loch Lomond.<br />
Ho, ho mo leannan<br />
Ho mo leannan bhoidheach<br />
(repeat x 8)<br />
[Chorus x3]<br />
Shang-A-Lang<br />
We were rippin up<br />
we were rockin up<br />
roll it over and lay it down<br />
We were shakin up<br />
we were breakin up<br />
we were rockin to the shang-alang<br />
sound of the music<br />
HEY HEY, rockin to the music.<br />
HEY HEY, rocking to the music<br />
rocking every night and<br />
day.HEY HEY<br />
Well we sang shang-a-lang as<br />
we ran with the gang<br />
doin doo wop be dooby do ay<br />
we were all in the news<br />
with our blue suede shoes<br />
and our dancin the night away.<br />
We sang shang-a-lang<br />
as we ran with the gang<br />
doin doo wop be dooby do eye<br />
with the jukebox playing and<br />
every body saying that<br />
music like ours couldn't die<br />
We were grooving<br />
we were movin’<br />
pussyfootin and booting it<br />
round.<br />
we were boppin it<br />
we were hoppin it<br />
we were jumping to the shanga-lang<br />
sound of the<br />
music,....*CHORUS<br />
shang-a-lang,<br />
shang-a-lang,<br />
shang-a-lang<br />
shang-a-lang, shang-a-lang,<br />
shang-a-lang<br />
Scots Wha Hae<br />
Scots, wha hae wi' Wallace bled<br />
Scots, wham Bruce has aften<br />
led<br />
Welcome to your gory bed, or to<br />
Victory<br />
Now's the day and now’s the<br />
hour.<br />
See the front o' battle lour.<br />
See approach proud Edward's<br />
power, chains and slavery.<br />
Wha will be a traitor knave.<br />
Wha can fill a coward's grave.<br />
Wha sae base as be a slave<br />
Let him turn and flee!<br />
Wha for Scotland's King and<br />
Law<br />
Freedom's sword will strongly<br />
draw<br />
Freeman stand or freeman fa'<br />
Let him follow me.<br />
By Oppression’s woes and<br />
pains,<br />
By your sons in servile chains,<br />
We will drain our dearest veins,<br />
But they shall be free.<br />
Lay the proud usurpers low!<br />
Tyrants fall in every foe.<br />
Liberty's in every blow.<br />
Let us do or die !<br />
Polite Reminder<br />
No pooing in the band bus<br />
toilet. No 1s only please.