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Page 20 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band<br />

The Jeelie Piece <strong>Song</strong><br />

I'm a skyscraper wean, I live on<br />

the nineteenth flair;<br />

But I'm no' gaun oot tae play<br />

ony mair,<br />

'Cause since we moved tae<br />

Castlemilk, I'm wastin' away<br />

'Cause I'm gettin' wan meal less<br />

every day.<br />

Oh ye cannae fling pieces oot a<br />

twenty storey flat,<br />

Seven hundred hungry weans'll<br />

testify, to that.<br />

If it's butter, cheese or jeely, if<br />

the breid is plain or pan,<br />

The odds against it reaching<br />

earth are ninety-nine tae wan.<br />

On the first day ma maw flung<br />

oot a daud o' Hovis broon;<br />

It came skytin' oot the windae<br />

and went up insteid o' doon.<br />

Noo every twenty-seven hoors it<br />

comes back intae sight<br />

'Cause ma piece went intae<br />

orbit and became a satellite.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

On the second day ma maw<br />

flung me a piece oot wance<br />

again.<br />

It went and hut the pilot in a fast<br />

low-flying plane.<br />

He scraped it aff his goggles,<br />

shouting through the intercom,<br />

The Clydeside Reds huv giat<br />

me wi' a breid-an-jeely bomb'.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

On the third day ma maw<br />

thought she would try another<br />

throw.<br />

The Salvation Army band was<br />

staundin' doon below.<br />

'Onward, Christian Soldiers' was<br />

the piece they should've played,<br />

But the oompah man was<br />

playing oan ma piece an'<br />

marmalade.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

We're wrote away to Oxfam to<br />

try an' get some aid,<br />

An' a' the weans in Castlemilk<br />

have formed a 'piece brigade'.<br />

We're gonnae march to<br />

George's Square to demand our<br />

civil rights<br />

Like building nae mair hooses<br />

over piece-flinging height.<br />

Thanks<br />

Thank you for purchasing<br />

the Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling<br />

Pipe Band <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong>. The<br />

band is a non-profit making<br />

organisation reliant on the<br />

goodwill of corporate<br />

sponsors and members and<br />

your small contribution will<br />

ensure we continue for<br />

another 30 years.<br />

For more information on the<br />

Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe<br />

Band, visit our website<br />

www.scottishpipeband.co.uk<br />

© Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling<br />

Pipe Band 2008<br />

<strong>Burgh</strong> <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong><br />

All the favourites…<br />

! Father Abraham<br />

! The Tampax Factory<br />

The Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of<br />

Stirling Pipe Band<br />

! And many, many more…<br />

Band Bus Edition<br />

Produced by the Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Social & Fundraising Committee


Page 2 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band<br />

TABLE OF CONTENTS<br />

Flower of Scotland / Donald Where’s Yer Troosers 3<br />

Caledonia / You are our Gerry 4<br />

Sam the Skull 5<br />

Bonnie Wee Jeannie McColl / Yer Jacobites by Name 6<br />

Bog Down in the Valley-O 7<br />

Wild Rover / Signing in the Rain 8<br />

I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) / Under a Scotsman’s Kilt 9<br />

Evil Scotsman / Loch Lomond 10<br />

Shang-A-Lang / Scots Wha Hae 11<br />

Don’t Stop Me Now! 12<br />

Father Abraham / MacDonald’s Farm 13<br />

Wild Rover 14<br />

Sir Jasper / Lion Sleeps Tonight 15<br />

George Michael’s Faith (Alternative) / Bestiality's Best 16<br />

Follow the Band / Lady in Red 17<br />

Tampax Factory 18<br />

Tribute 19<br />

The Jeelie Piece <strong>Song</strong> 20<br />

Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 19<br />

Tribute<br />

[Spoken]<br />

This is the greatest and best<br />

song in the world... Tribute.<br />

Long time ago me and my<br />

brother Kyle here,<br />

we was hitchhikin' down a long<br />

and lonesome road.<br />

All of a sudden, there shined a<br />

shiny demon... in the middle...<br />

of the road.<br />

And he said!<br />

"Play the best song in the world,<br />

or I'll eat your soul."<br />

Well me and Kyle, we looked at<br />

each other,<br />

and we each said... "Okay."<br />

And we played the first thing<br />

that came to our heads,<br />

Just so happened to be,<br />

The Best <strong>Song</strong> in the World, it<br />

was The Best <strong>Song</strong> in the<br />

World.<br />

Look into my eyes and it's easy<br />

to see<br />

One and one make two, two<br />

and one make three,<br />

It was destiny.<br />

Once every hundred-thousand<br />

years or so,<br />

When the sun doth shine and<br />

the moon doth glow<br />

And the grass doth grow...<br />

Needless to say, the beast was<br />

stunned.<br />

Whip-crack went his Whoopy<br />

tail,<br />

And the beast was done.<br />

He asked us: "(snort) Be you<br />

angels?"<br />

And we said, "Nay. We are but<br />

men."<br />

Rock!<br />

Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,<br />

Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!<br />

This is not The Greatest <strong>Song</strong> in<br />

the World, no.<br />

This is just a tribute.<br />

Couldn't remember The<br />

Greatest <strong>Song</strong> in the World, no,<br />

no.<br />

This is a tribute, oh, to The<br />

Greatest <strong>Song</strong> in the World,<br />

All right! It was The Greatest<br />

<strong>Song</strong> in the World,<br />

All right! It was the best<br />

muthafuckin' song the greatest<br />

song in the world.<br />

And the peculiar thing is this my<br />

friends:<br />

the song we sang on that fateful<br />

night it didn't actually sound<br />

anything like this song.<br />

This is just a tribute! You gotta<br />

believe it!<br />

And I wish you were there! Just<br />

a matter of opinion.<br />

Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin',<br />

So surprised to find you can't<br />

stop it.<br />

All right! All right!


Page 18 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 3<br />

Tampax Factory<br />

Far Awa-a-a-a-y, the Tampax<br />

Factory<br />

Shout out your order loud and<br />

clear (loud and clear)*<br />

Large Medium Small<br />

Ladies we supply them all<br />

when the end of the month<br />

comes around...<br />

You can tell by the smell that<br />

she isnae very well<br />

When the end of the month<br />

comes around.<br />

U can tell by her moaning<br />

that she's seeping heamoglobin<br />

when the end of the month<br />

comes around...<br />

[Chorus]<br />

U can tell by her legs<br />

that she is losing eggs<br />

When the end of the month<br />

comes around..<br />

[Chorus]<br />

U can tell from the swab<br />

that there's no room for yer<br />

knob<br />

when the end of the month<br />

comes around...<br />

[Chorus]<br />

U can tell by the taste<br />

that it isn't salmon paste<br />

When the end of the month<br />

comes around..<br />

[Chorus]<br />

U can tell by the chair<br />

that she's been sitting there<br />

when the end of the month<br />

comes around..<br />

[Chorus]<br />

You can tell by the rope<br />

that you haven't got a hope<br />

when the end of the month<br />

comes around....<br />

[Chorus]<br />

You can tell by her frown<br />

That you'll have to go for brown<br />

when the end of the month<br />

comes around....<br />

[Chorus]<br />

You can tell you've gone too far<br />

when you're eating caviar<br />

when the end of the month<br />

comes around..<br />

[Chorus]<br />

You can tell from the string<br />

that it's going up her ring<br />

when the end of the month<br />

comes around....<br />

[Chorus]<br />

You can tell from the flies<br />

That are swarming round her<br />

thighs<br />

when the end of the month<br />

comes around....<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Join the <strong>Burgh</strong> Social<br />

and Fundraising Team<br />

Contact Alan Buchan or<br />

Kevin Scotland today!<br />

Flower of Scotland<br />

O Flower of Scotland,<br />

When will we see<br />

Your like again,<br />

That fought and died for,<br />

Your wee bit Hill and Glen,<br />

And stood against him,<br />

Proud Edward's Army,<br />

And sent him homeward,<br />

To think again.<br />

The Hills are bare now,<br />

And autumn leaves<br />

lie thick and still,<br />

O'er land that is lost now,<br />

Which those so dearly held,<br />

That stood against him,<br />

Proud Edward's Army,<br />

And sent him homeward,<br />

To think again.<br />

Those days are past now,<br />

And in the past<br />

they must remain,<br />

But we can still rise now,<br />

And be the nation again,<br />

That stood against him,<br />

Proud Edward's Army,<br />

And sent him homeward,<br />

To think again.<br />

O Flower of Scotland,<br />

When will we see<br />

your like again,<br />

That fought and died for,<br />

Your wee bit Hill and Glen,<br />

And stood against him,<br />

Proud Edward's Army,<br />

And sent him homeward,<br />

To think again.<br />

Donald Where’s Yer<br />

Troosers<br />

I've just come down from the<br />

Isle of Skye, I’m no very big and<br />

I'm awful shy,<br />

And the lassies shout when I go<br />

by, " Donald where’s your<br />

troosers."<br />

Let the wind blow high, let the<br />

wind blow low, through the<br />

streets in my kilt I'll go,<br />

And all the lassies shout hello<br />

Donald where's your troosers.<br />

A Lassie took me to a ball<br />

And it was slippery in the hall<br />

And I was feart that I would fall<br />

Fur I hadnae on ma' troosers<br />

[Chorus]<br />

I went down to London Town<br />

And I had some fun in the<br />

underground The ladies turned<br />

their heads around Saying<br />

"Donald where are your<br />

trousers".<br />

[Chorus]<br />

To wear the kilt is my delight<br />

It isna wrong, I know its right<br />

The islanders would get a fright<br />

If they saw me in the troosers<br />

[Chorus]<br />

They'd like to wed me everywan<br />

Just let them catch me if they<br />

can You cannae tak’ the breeks<br />

aff a Hielan’ man<br />

And I don't wear the troosers<br />

[Chorus]


Page 4 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 17<br />

Caledonia<br />

I don't know, If you can see, the<br />

changes that have come over<br />

me<br />

In these last few days I've been<br />

afraid, that I might slip away,<br />

But I’ve been telling old stories,<br />

singing songs<br />

That make me think about<br />

where I come from<br />

And that’s the reason why I<br />

seem, so far away today<br />

Let me tell you that I love you,<br />

and I think about you all the<br />

time<br />

Caledonia you're calling me,<br />

and now I'm going home<br />

But if I should become a<br />

stranger<br />

you know that would make me<br />

more than sad<br />

Caledonia's been everything,<br />

I've ever had<br />

I have moved, and I have kept<br />

on moving, proved the point that<br />

I need proving<br />

Lost some friends that I hated<br />

losing, found others on the way<br />

I have kissed the ladies and left<br />

them crying<br />

Stolen dreams yes there is no<br />

denying,<br />

I have traveled hard times with<br />

conscience flying, somewhere<br />

in the wind<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Now I'm sitting here, before the<br />

fire, the empty room hold no<br />

desire<br />

The flames that couldn’t get any<br />

higher well they’ve withered now<br />

they’ve gone<br />

But I'm still thinking my way is<br />

clear,<br />

And I know what I’ll do tomorrow<br />

When the hands are shaking<br />

and the kisses flow, well I will<br />

disappear<br />

[Chorus]<br />

You are our Gerry<br />

You are our Gerry<br />

Our only Gerry.<br />

You make us happy<br />

When skies are grey.<br />

WHEN SKIES ARE GREY!<br />

You'll never know,.,<br />

How much we love you.<br />

Please don't take our Gerry<br />

away<br />

[Repeat with other names]<br />

Lambrini Girls Just<br />

Wanna Have Fun!<br />

Want to be a real Lambrini<br />

Girl? Join TODAY!<br />

Follow the Band<br />

Singing…hey jig-a-jig, fuck a<br />

little pig, follow the band..<br />

Follow the band with your cock<br />

in your hands.<br />

Singing…hey jig-a-jig, fuck a<br />

little pig, follow the band.<br />

Follow the band all the way.<br />

My Wife is a builder, a builder, a<br />

builder. A very fine builder is<br />

she. All day long she lays<br />

bricks, lays bricks, lays bricks<br />

and when she comes home she<br />

lays me.<br />

Carpenter: pounds nails,<br />

pounds me<br />

Baker: kneads dough, kneads<br />

me<br />

Skier: jumps humps, humps me<br />

Jockey: rides horses, rides me<br />

Plumber: sucks pipes, sucks me<br />

Pianist: fingers keys, fingers me<br />

Joiner: Screws wood: Screws<br />

me<br />

Postie: licks stamps: licks me!<br />

Farmer: forks straw: forks me!<br />

Ironmonger: pokes fires: pokes<br />

me!<br />

Taxidermist: stuffs animals:<br />

stuffs me!<br />

Diver: goes down: can't be<br />

bothered!<br />

My Wife is a fucker, a fucker, a<br />

fucker. A very fine fucker is she.<br />

All day long she fucks men,<br />

fucks men, fucks men,<br />

And when she comes home she<br />

makes tea<br />

Lady in Red<br />

She’s ma lady in red (Lead)<br />

She’s ma lady in red (All)<br />

She makes a living in her bed<br />

(Lead)<br />

She makes a living in her bed<br />

(All)<br />

Singing na na naanaa!<br />

Na nanaa nana nanaa<br />

...green, she's a shagging<br />

machine.<br />

…broon, she likes to do it up<br />

and doon.<br />

…maroon, she does a jobby in<br />

ma room.<br />

…plum, she stuck a finger up<br />

ma bum.<br />

…peach, oh we did it on the<br />

beach.<br />

…glitter, and she takes it up the<br />

shitter.<br />

…grey, she shags me all day in<br />

the hay.<br />

…navy, oh her public hair is<br />

wavy.<br />

…black, she makes a living on<br />

her back..<br />

...gold, but I think she was too<br />

old.<br />

...pink, and she makes my finger<br />

stink.<br />

...white, and she swallowed it<br />

down right.<br />

<strong>Burgh</strong> Website<br />

Pictures, info, news and<br />

corporate brochure available<br />

online at…<br />

www.scottishpipeband.co.uk


Page 16 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 5<br />

George Micheal’s Faith<br />

(Alternative)<br />

When I caught you in the gents,<br />

playing with parts of your body,<br />

I know not everybody is a<br />

wanker like you,<br />

When I pulled out my cuffs, you<br />

thought that I was kinky,<br />

pulled out your tinky-winky said<br />

what you gonna do!<br />

You've got to reconsider your<br />

foolish motion, pick your<br />

underpants up off the floor.<br />

I’ve got my squad car waiting,<br />

stop mastur-bating, spread your<br />

2 legs George and put your<br />

hands against the wall!<br />

Cos you had to masturbate woo<br />

you had to masturbate!!<br />

When they took you to the cells,<br />

you said you wanted a favour,<br />

you needed some toilet paper,<br />

cos you messed your<br />

underpants.<br />

And when they took you to the<br />

court, they said please raise<br />

your right hand you said I’m<br />

sorry I cant, cos I’ve got<br />

wankers cramp.<br />

I’ve got my squad car waiting<br />

stop masturbating spread your 2<br />

legs George and put your hands<br />

against the wall, cos you had to<br />

masturbate woo you had to<br />

masturbate"!!!<br />

Bestiality’s Best<br />

Bestiality's best, boys,<br />

Bestiality's best.(shag a<br />

wallaby!)<br />

Bestiality's best, boys,<br />

Bestiality's best.<br />

Have a screw with a shrew,<br />

boys,<br />

Have a screw with a shrew,<br />

Have a screw with a shrew,<br />

boys,<br />

Have a screw with a shrew.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Intercourse with a horse, boys,<br />

Intercourse with a horse,<br />

Intercourse with a horse, boys,<br />

Intercourse with a horse<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Put your pole up a mole, boys,<br />

Put your pole up a mole<br />

Put your pole up a mole, boys,<br />

Put your pole up a mole.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Throw your muck up a duck,<br />

boys,<br />

Throw your muck up a duck,<br />

Throw your muck up a duck,<br />

boys,<br />

Throw your muck up a duck.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Stick your log up a dog, boys,<br />

Stick your log up a dog,<br />

Stick your log up a dog, boys,<br />

Stick your log up a dog.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Sam the Skull<br />

I'm a cat, I'm a cat, I'm a Glesga<br />

cat and my name is Sam the<br />

Skull.<br />

I've got claws in ma paws like a<br />

crocodiles jaws and a heid like a<br />

fermers bull.<br />

I'm no the kind o' cat that sits<br />

oan the mat nor the kind that<br />

you gie a hug<br />

I'm the kind o' cat that strangles<br />

the rats and even the<br />

occasional dug.<br />

I roam aroon doon in<br />

Shettlestoon where they a' know<br />

me by sight<br />

"Here's the Skull here's the<br />

Skull" you can hear them yell as<br />

they vanish into the night.<br />

The polis station doon oor way<br />

has baurs oan the windae sull<br />

It's no tae keep the prisoners in<br />

its tae keep oot Sam the Skull.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Well one fine day no so long<br />

ago when they a' had had their<br />

full<br />

They sent for the S.S.P.C.A. tae<br />

come and catch the Skull<br />

There’s naebody kin get oot<br />

while he's roamin aboot chasin'<br />

a' the weans up the close,<br />

peein' oan the stairs scratchin'<br />

his erse and sittin there pickin'<br />

his nose.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Well oot came aboot hauf past<br />

ten in their wee blue Escort van<br />

Right roon the back, wan wae a<br />

sack and wan wae a mallet in<br />

his haund.<br />

I watched them run roon the<br />

back o' the hoose and I casually<br />

strolled to the van<br />

Jumped in the front, I was off,<br />

everything had gone to plan.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Now you'll hear them them say<br />

doon Shettlestoon way,<br />

"Whatever happened tae Sam<br />

the Skull ?"<br />

He had claws in his paws like a<br />

crocodiles jaws and a heid like a<br />

fermers bull<br />

Well you can tell them from me<br />

that I'm still runnin' free and<br />

never a day is dull<br />

It might sound absurd but I'm<br />

livin wae a burd in a single end<br />

in Maryhill.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Adopt a Drummer<br />

For just £2 per month, we<br />

can retrain a disadvantaged<br />

drummer to play a real<br />

instrument.<br />

Drummers are people too…


Page 6 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 15<br />

Bonnie Wee Jeannie<br />

McColl<br />

A fine wee lass, a bon-nie wee<br />

lass, Is bon-nie wee Jeannie Mc<br />

- Coll;<br />

I gave her my moth-ers en -<br />

gage - ment ring and a bon-nie<br />

wee tar - tan shawl.<br />

I met her at a wadd - in' In the<br />

Co o-per - a - tive Hall<br />

I wis the best man and she was<br />

the bell of the ball.<br />

The very first nicht I met her,<br />

She was awfy, awfy shy,<br />

The rain cam' pourin' doon, But<br />

she was happy, so was I.<br />

We ran like mad for shelter, An'<br />

we landed up a stair,<br />

The rain cam' poorin' oot o' ma<br />

breeks, But och I didna care:<br />

For she's .........[Chorus]<br />

Noo I've wad my Jeannie, An'<br />

bairnies we have three,<br />

Two dochters and a braw wee<br />

lad, That sits upon my knee.<br />

They're richt wee holy terrors,<br />

An' they're never still for lang,<br />

But they sit an' listen every<br />

nicht, While I sing them this<br />

sang:<br />

For she's .........[Chorus]<br />

Band on Bebo<br />

Be a groupie<br />

TODAY!<br />

Join us at…<br />

bebo.com/ScottishPipeBand<br />

Ye Jacobites By Name<br />

Ye Jacobites by name, lend an<br />

ear lend an ear<br />

Ye Jacobites by name lend an<br />

ear<br />

Ye Jacobites by name your<br />

faults I will proclaim<br />

Your doctrines I will blame you<br />

will hear you will hear<br />

Your doctrines I will blame you<br />

will hear<br />

What is right and what is wrong<br />

by the law by the law<br />

What is right and what is wrong<br />

by the law<br />

What is right and what is wrong<br />

a short sword and a long<br />

A weak arm and a strong for to<br />

draw for to draw<br />

A weak arm and a strong for to<br />

draw<br />

What makes heroic strife famed<br />

afar famed afar<br />

What makes heroic strife famed<br />

afar<br />

What makes heroic strife to<br />

whet the assasins knife<br />

Or hunts a parents life wi'<br />

bloody war bloody war<br />

Or hunts a parents life wi'<br />

bloody war<br />

Then leave your schemes alone<br />

in the state in the state<br />

Then leave your schemes alone<br />

in the state<br />

Then leave your schemes alone<br />

adore the morning sun<br />

And leave a man alone to his<br />

fate to his fate<br />

And leave a man alone to his<br />

fate.<br />

Sir Jasper<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do not touch me!<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do not touch me!.<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do not touch me!.<br />

As she lay between the linen<br />

sheets with nothing on at all.<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do not touch!!<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do not touch!!<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do not touch!!<br />

As she lay between the linen<br />

sheets with nothing on at all.<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do not!!!<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do not!!!<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do not!!!<br />

As she lay between the linen<br />

sheets with nothing on at all.<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do!!!!<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do!!!!<br />

Oh Sir Jasper do!!!!<br />

As she lay between the linen<br />

sheets with nothing on at all.<br />

Oh Sir Jasper!!!!!<br />

Oh Sir Jasper!!!!!<br />

Oh Sir Jasper!!!!!<br />

As she lay between the linen<br />

sheets with nothing on at all.<br />

Oh Sir!!!!!!<br />

Oh Sir!!!!!!<br />

Oh Sir!!!!!!<br />

As she lay between the linen<br />

sheets with nothing on at all.<br />

Oh!!!!!!!<br />

Oh!!!!!!!<br />

Oh!!!!!!!<br />

As she lay between the linen<br />

sheets with nothing on at all.<br />

Lion Sleeps Tonight<br />

A wimoweh, a-wimoweh awimoweh,<br />

a wimoweh<br />

A wimoweh, a-wimoweh awimoweh,<br />

a wimoweh<br />

A wimoweh, a-wimoweh awimoweh,<br />

a wimoweh<br />

A wimoweh, a-wimoweh awimoweh,<br />

a wimoweh<br />

In the jungle the mighty jungle<br />

the lion sleeps tonight<br />

In the jungle the quiet jungle the<br />

lion sleeps tonight<br />

Near the village the peaceful<br />

village the lion sleeps tonight<br />

Near the village the quiet village<br />

the lion sleeps tonight<br />

Hush my darling, don't fear my<br />

darling. The lion sleeps tonight.<br />

Hush my darling, don't fear my<br />

darling. The lion sleeps tonight.<br />

LOST<br />

Have you seen this feather<br />

bonnet???<br />

Last seen in Brussels<br />

REWARD !100,000<br />

Call 1800-195-2942


Page 14 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 7<br />

Wild Rover<br />

I've been a wild rover for many's<br />

the year<br />

I've spent all me money on<br />

whiskey and beer<br />

But now I'm returning with gold<br />

in great store<br />

And I never will play the wild<br />

rover no more<br />

And it's No, Nay, never,<br />

No, nay never no more<br />

Will I play the wild rover,<br />

No never no more<br />

I went in to an alehouse I used<br />

to frequent<br />

And I told the landlady me<br />

money was spent<br />

I asked her for credit, she<br />

answered me nay<br />

Such a customer as you I can<br />

have any day<br />

And it's No, Nay, never,<br />

No, nay never no more<br />

Will I play the wild rover,<br />

No never no more<br />

I took up from my pocket, ten<br />

sovereigns bright<br />

And the landlady's eyes opened<br />

wide with delight<br />

She says "I have whiskeys and<br />

wines of the best<br />

And the words that you told me<br />

were only in jest"<br />

And it's No, Nay, never,<br />

No, nay never no more<br />

Will I play the wild rover,<br />

No never no more<br />

I'll go home to my parents,<br />

confess what I've done<br />

And I'll ask them to pardon their<br />

prodigal son<br />

And, when they've caressed me<br />

as oft times before<br />

I never will play the wild rover<br />

no more<br />

And it's No, Nay, never,<br />

No, nay never no more<br />

Will I play the wild rover,<br />

No never no more<br />

Stirling Line Dancing<br />

Spin your partner<br />

For a root-tooting good time,<br />

come along every Mon Night<br />

Drummers…<br />

Drinking since 1977<br />

Bog Down In The Valley-O<br />

Hey-ho the rattlin’ bog, the bog<br />

down in the valley-o.<br />

Hey-ho the rattlin’ bog, the bog<br />

down in the valley-o.<br />

Now in this bog there was a<br />

tree, a rare tree, a rattlin' tree,<br />

A tree in the bog, in the bog<br />

down in the valley-o.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Now on this tree there was a<br />

limb, a rare limb, a rattlin' limb,<br />

A limb on the tree, and the tree<br />

in the bog, in the bog down in<br />

the valley-o.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Now on this limb there was a<br />

branch, a rare branch, a rattlin'<br />

branch, a branch on the limb,<br />

and the limb on the tree, and<br />

the tree in the bog, in the bog<br />

down in the valley-o.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Now on this branch there was a<br />

twig, a rare twig, a rattlin' twig,<br />

A twig on the branch, and the<br />

branch on the limb, and the limb<br />

on the tree, and the tree in the<br />

bog, in the bog down in the<br />

valley-o.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Now on this twig there was a<br />

leaf, a rare leaf, a rattlin' leaf,<br />

A leaf on the twig, and the twig<br />

on the branch, and the branch<br />

on the limb, and the limb on the<br />

tree,<br />

And the tree in the bog, in the<br />

bog down in the valley-o.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Now on this leaf there was a<br />

nest, a rare nest, a rattlin' nest,<br />

A nest on the leaf, and the leaf<br />

on the twig,<br />

And the twig on the branch, and<br />

the branch on the limb,<br />

And the limb on the tree, and<br />

the tree in the bog, in the bog<br />

down in the valley-o.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Now on this nest there was an<br />

egg, a rare egg, a rattlin' egg,<br />

An egg on the nest, an nest on<br />

the leaf, and the leaf on the<br />

twig, and the twig on the branch,<br />

a branch on the limb, a limb on<br />

the tree, and the tree in the bog,<br />

in the bog down in the valley-o.<br />

[Chorus]<br />

[let the song go on, and<br />

on…speckle, bird, feather, flea,<br />

wing, ameoba, pipe band]<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Cider Appreciaion<br />

Society<br />

Call 1800-195-2942


Page 8 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 13<br />

Wild Rover<br />

I've been a wild rover for many's<br />

the year<br />

I've spent all me money on<br />

whiskey and beer<br />

But now I'm returning with gold<br />

in great store<br />

And I never will play the wild<br />

rover no more<br />

And it's No, Nay, never,<br />

No, nay never no more<br />

Will I play the wild rover,<br />

No never no more<br />

I went in to an alehouse I used<br />

to frequent<br />

And I told the landlady me<br />

money was spent<br />

I asked her for credit, she<br />

answered me nay<br />

Such a customer as you I can<br />

have any day<br />

[Chorus]<br />

I took up from my pocket, ten<br />

sovereigns bright<br />

And the landlady's eyes opened<br />

wide with delight<br />

She says "I have whiskeys and<br />

wines of the best<br />

And the words that you told me<br />

were only in jest"<br />

[Chorus]<br />

I'll go home to my parents,<br />

confess what I've done<br />

And I'll ask them to pardon their<br />

prodigal son<br />

And, when they've caressed me<br />

as oft times before I never will<br />

play the wild rover no more<br />

[Chorus]<br />

Singing in the Rain<br />

We're singing in the rain,<br />

Just singing in the rain,<br />

What a glorious feeling,<br />

We're hap! hap! happy again,<br />

Verse/action: Hold it! Hold it!<br />

Your arms are out!<br />

Ah-ruta-cha, ruta-cha, ruta-chacha<br />

Ah-ruta-cha, ruta-cha, ruta-chacha<br />

[Repeat chorus adding new line<br />

and action each time]<br />

Your thumbs are up!<br />

Elbows are bent!<br />

Your chest is out!<br />

Your stomach is in!<br />

Your bum is out!<br />

Your tongue is out!<br />

Your Standing up!<br />

Your kness together!<br />

Single Tonight?<br />

Looking for a chat or maybe<br />

something more? Buchan is<br />

waiting to answer your call.<br />

Call 1800-195-2942<br />

Calls cost £1.49 per minute<br />

Father Abraham<br />

Father Abraham had seven<br />

sons,<br />

Seven sons had Father<br />

Abraham,<br />

And he never smiled,<br />

And he never cried,<br />

All he did was go like this .<br />

And to my right! (Right arm)<br />

And to my left (Left Arm)<br />

And to my right! (Right leg)<br />

And to my left (Left leg)<br />

And bums are out (bum out)<br />

And with the heid (Head but)<br />

And with a HEEEE! (hump<br />

pelvis)<br />

And a HUUHH! (turn around, lift<br />

kilt/drop pants, moon)<br />

Gem’s <strong>Burgh</strong> Brownies<br />

“They’re Choc-tastic!”<br />

MacDonald’s Farm<br />

Old MacDonald had a farm,<br />

Ee-ei-ee-ei-oh.<br />

And on this farm he had some<br />

cows, Ee-ei-ee-ei-oh.<br />

And the cows were cowing it<br />

here,<br />

And the cows were cowing it<br />

there,<br />

Cowing it here, cowing it there,<br />

Cowing it everywhere<br />

Old MacDonald had a farm,<br />

Ee-ei-ee-ei-oh,<br />

And on this farm he had some<br />

bulls, Ee-ei-ee-ei-oh,<br />

And the turkeys were gobbling<br />

here,<br />

And the turkeys were gobbling<br />

there,<br />

Gobbling here, gobbling there,<br />

gobbling everywhere<br />

[More versus]<br />

Bulls were bulling<br />

Dragons were dragging<br />

The Wonder Thong<br />

Only £1.95<br />

Available at most Primarks


Page 12 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 9<br />

Don’t Stop Me Now<br />

Tonight I'm gonna have myself<br />

a real good time<br />

I feel alive and the world it's<br />

turning inside out Yeah!<br />

I'm floating around in ecstasy<br />

So don't stop me now don't stop<br />

me<br />

'Cause I'm having a good time<br />

having a good time<br />

I'm a shooting star leaping<br />

through the skies<br />

Like a tiger defying the laws of<br />

gravity<br />

I'm a racing car passing by like<br />

Lady Godiva<br />

I'm gonna go go go<br />

There's no stopping me<br />

I'm burning through the skies<br />

Two hundred degrees<br />

That's why they call me Mister<br />

Fahrenheit<br />

I'm trav'ling at the speed of light<br />

I wanna make a supersonic<br />

man of you<br />

Don't stop me now I'm having<br />

such a good time<br />

I'm having a ball don't stop me<br />

now<br />

If you wanna have a good time<br />

just give me a call<br />

Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm<br />

having a good time)<br />

Don't stop me now (Yes I'm<br />

having a good time)<br />

I don't want to stop at all<br />

I'm a rocket ship on my way to<br />

Mars<br />

On a collision course<br />

I am a satellite I'm out of control<br />

I am a sex machine ready to<br />

reload<br />

Like an atom bomb about to<br />

Oh oh oh oh oh explode<br />

I'm burning through the skies<br />

Two hundred degrees<br />

That's why they call me Mister<br />

Fahrenheit<br />

I'm trav'ling at the speed of light<br />

I wanna make a supersonic<br />

woman out of you<br />

Don't stop me don't stop me<br />

don't stop me<br />

Hey hey hey!<br />

Don't stop me don't stop me<br />

Ooh ooh ooh (I like it)<br />

Don't stop me have a good time<br />

good time<br />

Don't stop me don't stop me<br />

Ooh ooh Alright<br />

I'm burning through the skies<br />

Two hundred degrees<br />

That's why they call me Mister<br />

Fahrenheit<br />

I'm trav'ling at the speed of light<br />

I wanna make a supersonic<br />

woman of you<br />

Don't stop me now I'm having<br />

such a good time<br />

I'm having a ball don't stop me<br />

now<br />

If you wanna have a good time<br />

Just give me a call<br />

Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm<br />

having a good time)<br />

Don't stop me now (Yes I'm<br />

having a good time)<br />

I don't wanna stop at all<br />

I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)<br />

When I wake up yeah I know I'm<br />

gonna be<br />

I'm gonna be the man who<br />

wakes up next to you<br />

When I go out yeah I know I'm<br />

gonna be<br />

I'm gonna be the man who goes<br />

along with you<br />

If I get drunk yes I know I'm<br />

gonna be<br />

I'm gonna be the man who gets<br />

drunk next to you<br />

And if I haver yeah I know I'm<br />

gonna be<br />

I'm gonna be the man who's<br />

havering to you<br />

But I would walk 500 miles<br />

And I would walk 500 more<br />

Just to be the man who walked<br />

1000 miles<br />

To fall down at your door<br />

When I'm working yes I know<br />

I'm gonna be<br />

I'm gonna be the man who's<br />

working hard for you<br />

And when the money comes in<br />

for the work I'll do<br />

I'll pass almost every penny on<br />

to you<br />

When I come home yeah I know<br />

I'm gonna be<br />

I'm gonna be the man who<br />

comes back home to you<br />

And if I grow old well I know I'm<br />

gonna be<br />

I'm gonna be the man who's<br />

growing old with you<br />

But I would walk 500 miles<br />

And I would walk 500 more<br />

Just to be the man who walked<br />

1000 miles<br />

To fall down at your door<br />

When I'm lonely yes I know I'm<br />

gonna be<br />

I'm gonna be the man whose<br />

lonely without you<br />

When I'm dreaming yes I know<br />

I'm gonna dream<br />

Dream about the time when I'm<br />

with you.<br />

But I would walk 500 miles<br />

And I would walk 500 more<br />

Just to be the man who walked<br />

1000 miles<br />

To fall down at your door<br />

Under a Scotsman's Kilt<br />

I wonder what's under a<br />

Scotsman's kilt<br />

A-wang, a-wang, a-wang, awang<br />

Tickle me, tickle me, you know<br />

where<br />

Under my kilt and in my hair<br />

But if you tickle me in the wrong<br />

place<br />

I'll lift up my kilt and I'll piss in<br />

your face.


Page 10 Royal <strong>Burgh</strong> of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus <strong>Song</strong> <strong>Book</strong> Page 11<br />

Evil Scotsman<br />

If your looking for trouble,<br />

Your in the right place,<br />

Don't look at me like that, or i'll<br />

headbutt your face<br />

I’m a mean motherfucker,<br />

I was born that way,<br />

and just because i wear a skirt<br />

don't think i'm fuckin' gay.<br />

Cause I'm an evil Scotsman,<br />

and Jimmy is my name,<br />

I'm a sheep shagger from<br />

Aberdeen,<br />

and causing pain is my game.<br />

Now if your a woman,<br />

married or not,<br />

al take all your kit off and I’ll<br />

dive in your mot,<br />

i'll take your legs and spread<br />

them wide,<br />

and then I’ll put a wet suit on<br />

and shag you from inside,<br />

I’m an evil Scotsman,<br />

and My name is Jock<br />

and the girls are all gaggin' for a<br />

portion of my 10" cock,<br />

Yes I’m an evil Scotsman<br />

and my name is Jock<br />

I’ve got one hand in my pocket<br />

and I’m playing with my 10"<br />

cock<br />

I’m an evil Scotsman,<br />

and Jock is my name,<br />

if you don't like the rules don't<br />

play the fuckin' game,<br />

Yes, i'm an evil Scotsman<br />

my name is Jock!<br />

and the girls are just dying for a<br />

portion of my 10" cock.<br />

OH Yeah,<br />

Fucker,<br />

Wankers,<br />

Knob Heads.<br />

Thankyou.<br />

Loch Lomond<br />

By yon bonnie banks and by<br />

yon bonnie braes,<br />

Where the sun shines on Loch<br />

Lomond.<br />

Where me and tea tree my true<br />

love spent many days<br />

On the banks of Loch Lomond.<br />

Too sad we parted in yon shady<br />

glen,<br />

On the steep sides of Ben<br />

Lomond.<br />

Where the broken heart knows<br />

no second spring,<br />

Resigned we must be while<br />

we’re parting.<br />

You’ll take the high road and I’ll<br />

take the low road,<br />

And I’ll be in Scotland afore you.<br />

Where me and my true love will<br />

never meet again,<br />

On the bonnie, bonnie banks of<br />

Loch Lomond.<br />

Ho, ho mo leannan<br />

Ho mo leannan bhoidheach<br />

(repeat x 8)<br />

[Chorus x3]<br />

Shang-A-Lang<br />

We were rippin up<br />

we were rockin up<br />

roll it over and lay it down<br />

We were shakin up<br />

we were breakin up<br />

we were rockin to the shang-alang<br />

sound of the music<br />

HEY HEY, rockin to the music.<br />

HEY HEY, rocking to the music<br />

rocking every night and<br />

day.HEY HEY<br />

Well we sang shang-a-lang as<br />

we ran with the gang<br />

doin doo wop be dooby do ay<br />

we were all in the news<br />

with our blue suede shoes<br />

and our dancin the night away.<br />

We sang shang-a-lang<br />

as we ran with the gang<br />

doin doo wop be dooby do eye<br />

with the jukebox playing and<br />

every body saying that<br />

music like ours couldn't die<br />

We were grooving<br />

we were movin’<br />

pussyfootin and booting it<br />

round.<br />

we were boppin it<br />

we were hoppin it<br />

we were jumping to the shanga-lang<br />

sound of the<br />

music,....*CHORUS<br />

shang-a-lang,<br />

shang-a-lang,<br />

shang-a-lang<br />

shang-a-lang, shang-a-lang,<br />

shang-a-lang<br />

Scots Wha Hae<br />

Scots, wha hae wi' Wallace bled<br />

Scots, wham Bruce has aften<br />

led<br />

Welcome to your gory bed, or to<br />

Victory<br />

Now's the day and now’s the<br />

hour.<br />

See the front o' battle lour.<br />

See approach proud Edward's<br />

power, chains and slavery.<br />

Wha will be a traitor knave.<br />

Wha can fill a coward's grave.<br />

Wha sae base as be a slave<br />

Let him turn and flee!<br />

Wha for Scotland's King and<br />

Law<br />

Freedom's sword will strongly<br />

draw<br />

Freeman stand or freeman fa'<br />

Let him follow me.<br />

By Oppression’s woes and<br />

pains,<br />

By your sons in servile chains,<br />

We will drain our dearest veins,<br />

But they shall be free.<br />

Lay the proud usurpers low!<br />

Tyrants fall in every foe.<br />

Liberty's in every blow.<br />

Let us do or die !<br />

Polite Reminder<br />

No pooing in the band bus<br />

toilet. No 1s only please.

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