Why do Asians really get straight A's? - Project Gutenberg Consortia ...

We arrive at Uncle's house with all our body parts intact; actually, it's an apartment
since everything is compressed in the city. Walking up six flights of stairs is no laughing
matter; try doing it with jet lag and hunger— and two big suitcases plus an over-stuffed
backpack. Alright, I'll stop whining.
Four locks click in sequence, like timed demolition, the large door opening fast and
wide, such that we rush in as if it's Black Friday at a shopping mall. Oldest Auntie, sitting in an
old rustic brown chair, waves us over with both hands. I notice what's on TV: the news— big
surprise. Asians love watching the news all day. The apartment is just like Auntie's house in
Palo Alto, traditional and passé with antiquated Oriental furniture. I see lanterns, same as the
ones from Auntie's Palo Alto house, hanging from the ceiling, with red New Year couplets
covering the walls below, even the wall scrolls appear to be exact duplicates. I guess both
Aunties have the same interior decorator.
My parents hand Oldest Auntie and Uncle wrapped gifts and red envelopes while
simultaneously bowing, a customary gesture in accordance to Asian culture, for due honor
and respect. Oldest Auntie and Uncle bow back, my parents bow again, Oldest Auntie and
Uncle bow back once more, all four of them continuing with bows, lower and lower each time,
trying to outdo each other. Many people think that bowing is a form of honor and respect, but
it's actually nothing more than a form of subservience. Shaking hands, for instance, is a true
form of respect because both people are doing it while standing at an equal level, at the same
time, staring eye to eye, completely equitable in the exchange. However, bowing entails that
one person be lower while the other person is higher, at unequal levels, not at the same time,
not staring eye to eye, inequitable in the exchange. Centuries ago, peasants would bow to
kings, no vice versa. That's why bowing has become obsolete, because it's a form of
subservience. It's only done in Asia because everyone's brainwashed by custom and culture,
which brings me to the gift-giving part, a compulsory gesture if you're Asian. Anytime and
every time you visit an Asian relative, you must bring a gift or money, hence the red
envelopes, which might as well be transparent so that people can show off how much is really
being given. I didn't bring a gift when I visited Auntie in Palo Alto, because she knows I'm an
@sshole— and because I'm American. But Asian people don't generally like being @ssholes
so they'll acquiesce to custom and culture, even if they don't want to. When I visit friends of
mine, I don't give them gifts; I'm sure you don't. Hell, when I visit my local pub, I don't give my
usual bartender a gift— which I'm sure he'd enthusiastically take, while praising Asian culture