Why do Asians really get straight A's? - Project Gutenberg Consortia ...

that's when they get you for the big crimes like DUI.
Gabriel got sent to jail once for a DUI, because the arresting female officer smelled pot
on him, even though he wasn't smoking anything; Gabriel just happened to be wearing a dirty
shirt, possibly stained with pot residue. It was only his first offense, but they still held him in
prison for a week! I didn't have enough money to bail him out since the court purposely
brought his charges up to a felony status, and his bail jumped up to the cost of a new BMW.
Plus, he didn't want his parents to know so he stuck it out for a week in the OC concentration
camp. Gabriel gave his parents the excuse that he decided to go upstate for a week in order
to check out some medical school programs— pure genius. Gabriel's true talent is knowing
how to bullsh*t.
Anyway, to get released, Gabriel gladly agreed to the plea bargain of a misdemeanor
conviction, accompanied with informal probation, but they still wouldn't let him out of jail! They
kept him there the whole night, even after he signed the plea bargain! He told me that the
reason they keep you there is because they don't want “ convicts ” and “ hoodlums ” walking
the streets of Irvine. Instead, they let you out late at night, at a godforsaken hour, in the middle
of nowhere, so that no one can see you when you leave. Remember how I told you that
people don't walk in ostentatious Irvine? That's because they'll probably think that you just got
out of jail! Irvine is trying so desperately to keep their little suburban utopia intact, that they'll
do anything, like violate your constitutional rights. That's why Gabriel's so anal retentive about
my driving, even though I'm a d@mn good driver, unlike most Asians. He's always checking
things to make sure we don't get pulled over: the seat belts, the side mirrors, and right now,
the passenger-side airbag. (By the way, Gabriel says that smoking pot in the car is totally
okay, since he believes that the medicinal properties of marijuana actually help ease and
relieve the stresses of driving— that sounds good enough to me so let's toke up!)
Gabriel analyzes the passenger-side airbag with obsessive-compulsive hands, as if
he's an inspection agent. “ Why is the airbag on my side so small? It's like the size of a Game
Boy, ” Gabriel asks. He's the type of person that demands an answer to all of his stupid
questions.
“ It's the new superficial airbag which protects the most important part: the face, ” I
retort, like a smart @ss. “ As long as the face is protected, 'cause the body doesn't really
matter. We all know how important faces are here in LA. ” If he likes stupid questions, then I'll
give him stupid answers.