Why do Asians really get straight A's? - Project Gutenberg Consortia ...
Why do Asians really get straight A's? - Project Gutenberg Consortia ...
Why do Asians really get straight A's? - Project Gutenberg Consortia ...
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virtue of blood, Caucasians are minorities just like the rest of us. But since there has to be a<br />
class of elites and a class of peons, I guess we'll have to be the minorities— even though<br />
Caucasians were here second just like the rest of us. And since we're the minorities, we've<br />
been emblematically segregated as Asian Americans, African Americans, and even Jewish<br />
Americans, but the strange thing is that I've never heard of Caucasian Americans. More<br />
importantly, why can't we all just be called Americans, since all of us are, after all, Americans?<br />
My parents wouldn't care, though, since they only care about on money, status, and<br />
power— big surprise! I remember last summer when my parents purchased a new BMW 550i,<br />
because the outdated BMW 3 series that we had was exactly that— outdated. They explained<br />
that we, as a family, needed to “ keep up ” with the rest of the residents in our neighborhood,<br />
in order to stay competitive. If that isn't a good enough reason to buy a 550i, I <strong>do</strong>n't know what<br />
is— I love sarcasm.<br />
So let's say that we <strong>really</strong> are competing with our neighbors and the rest of the<br />
residents in Irvine. Who set up the competition then? Who are all the contestants? Do they<br />
even know what they're competing for? Oh, that's right: status, the second of my Asian Pride<br />
Theorems. They're competing to see who is on top of the “ suburban food chain. ” Let's say,<br />
hypothetically, that my family's on top. Now what? Do we <strong>get</strong> a trophy? Do we <strong>get</strong> a lifetime<br />
supply of @ss-kissing from other Irvine residents? We <strong>do</strong>n't <strong>get</strong> cr@p. Actually, what we <strong>get</strong>—<br />
unbeknownst to my parents— is people talking behind our backs and people spreading<br />
gossip. I'm sure they're all saying, “ Look at Johnson's family buying that BMW 550i, trying to<br />
show us up.”<br />
I often wonder what would happen to all these pretentiously arrogant people here in<br />
Irvine, if— or actually when— the big earthquake comes; it can happen at anytime since all of<br />
California is on a godd@mn fault line. Then their opulent homes, expensive cars, and every<br />
precious, material possession would be lost at a moment's whim; would they still be “ on top”<br />
then? These pretentiously arrogant people are just like everyone else. They have to put on a<br />
pair of pants, one leg at a time, just like everyone else; they have to take the same nasty sh*t<br />
in the toilet, just like everyone else. The only difference is that they have an extra electronic<br />
digit in their bank account— whoop-de-<strong>do</strong>! I <strong>do</strong>n't see why it's so special to be “ on top. ”<br />
Also, I find it rather ironic that we had to buy our vainglorious BMW 550i from a dealer,<br />
so in essence, the dealer would be “ on top ” ; but then the dealer had to <strong>get</strong> his line of BMW's<br />
from the person who owns all of BMW; then the person who owns all of BMW is required to