The Boy Next Door - Weebly

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To: Nadine Wilcock From: Mel Fuller Subject: What he's wearing What do you care what he's got on? You're engaged. But if you insist.... Let me see, he is laying (or is it lying? No wonder they stuck me on Page Ten) on the bed in jeans and a T-shirt (sorry, no muscle T--you're right, I was lying to see if you were paying attention). He has his laptop out again. Paco is there beside him. Paco is looking disgustingly happy, I must say. That dog never looked that happy when I was over there. Maybe-- Oh my God! No wonder that dog is happy! He's feeding him Alpo--on the bed! That dog is getting Alpo all over Mrs. Friedlander's guest room's chenille bedspread! What is wrong with this man? Doesn't he realize chenille has to be dry-cleaned? This is so pathetic. This is so pathetic, Nadine. I mean, the pathos of it all just suddenly came washing over me. I am sitting here in my apartment, recording the guy next door's activities for my best friend, who is engaged. Nadine, you are getting married! And what am I doing? Sitting here at home in my sweats emailing my girlfriend. I AM PATHETIC!!!! I am worse than pathetic, I am-- OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD, Nadine! He just saw me. I'm not kidding. He just waved!!!! I am so embarrassed. I am going to die. I am going to-- Oh my God, he's opening the window. He's opening the window. He's saying something to me. I'll get back to you. To: Mel Fuller From: Nadine Wilcock Subject: WRITE BACK!!!! If you don't write me back tonight, I swear I am calling the cops. I don't care if I'm just like your mother. You don't know anything about this guy, except that his crazy aunt lives next door to you and he has a naked picture of himself up in the Whitney. Which I think you and I need to take a little field trip on Monday to see, by the way. WRITE BACK TO ME-- or the boys from the 87th Precinct will be paying you another visit. Nad To: Nadine Wilcock
From: Tony Salerno Subject: Cut it out I've been trying to get through to you for the past two hours, but your phone's been busy. I can only assume that either it's off the hook because you don't want to talk to me, or you are yakking it up on-line with Mel. If it is the latter, go off line and call me at the restaurant. If it is the former, stop being such a spaz. All I said was if you're that freaked out about this whole wedding dress thing, get a personal trainer, or something. I mean, jeez, Nadine, you're driving me crazy with this whole size twelve crap. Who CARES what size you are? *I* don't care. I love you exactly the way you are. And I don't give a rat's ass how many of your sisters have worn that stupid dress of your mother's. I hate that dress anyway. It's ugly. Just go out and buy a new dress, one that fits you the way you are NOW. You'll feel better in it and it will look better on you. Your mother will understand, and who cares what your sisters think? Screw your sisters, anyway. I have to go. Table 7 just sent back their salmon because it was undercooked. See what you made me do? T To: Tony Salerno From: Nadine Wilcock Subject: Excuse me.... but I do not appreciate your attitude towards my sisters. I happen to like my sisters. What if I said screw your brothers? What if I said screw your uncle Giovanni? How would you like that, huh? It's all very well for you to talk. All you have to do is throw on some rented tuxedo. *I* on the other hand have to be radiant. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND???? God, it's so easy to be a man. Nad To: Nadine Wilcock From: Mel Fuller Subject: No big deal He just couldn't figure out how to work his aunt's electric can opener. He bought Mr. Peepers some actual tuna in order to lure him out from under the bed. It didn't work, of course. I suggested next time he buy tuna in water rather than olive oil. I don't know that cats like olive oil so much. Anyway, while I was there, he asked which was the best place in the neighborhood to
Page 1 and 2: The Boy Next Door The Boy Next Door
Page 3 and 4: I thought I heard your name, of all
Page 5 and 6: 7:55--Stagger to kitchen. Ingest no
Page 7 and 8: her brain from a giant blood clot t
Page 9 and 10: To: Aaron Spender From: Mel Fuller
Page 11 and 12: the wedding's off. Every girl in my
Page 13 and 14: To: Mel Fuller From: Nadine Wilcoc
Page 15 and 16: Well, enjoy! And you make sure you
Page 17 and 18: To: Mel Fuller From: George Sanche
Page 19 and 20: From: Mel Fuller Subject: I can't
Page 21 and 22: prostituting himself out for photo
Page 23 and 24: To: Tom Barrett From: Max Friedlan
Page 25 and 26: To: Jason Trent From: John Trent
Page 27 and 28: To: Max Friedlander From: John Tre
Page 29 and 30: To: Jason Trent From: John Trent
Page 31 and 32: you who are born into money, the in
Page 33 and 34: What's more important to him, a bun
Page 35 and 36: Subject: Well???? DON'T TELL NADINE
Page 37 and 38: all. Although I guess it wasn't rea
Page 39 and 40: To: Mel Fuller From: Aaron Spender
Page 41 and 42: From: Jason Trent Subject: How'd I
Page 43 and 44: Your loving sister-in-law, Stacy To
Page 45 and 46: And you do???????????? To: Sergeant
Page 47: prints, etc. But unless that happen
Page 51 and 52: ad as you say, or are you exaggerat
Page 53 and 54: Sure. The seven o'clock show would
Page 55 and 56: of you at Stella's baby shower. And
Page 57 and 58: To: John Trent From: Jason Trent
Page 59 and 60: same time. This is a marked improve
Page 61 and 62: To: Nadine Wilcock From: Mel Fulle
Page 63 and 64: To: jerrylives@freemail.com From: M
Page 65 and 66: ever coming to visit us again. Are
Page 67 and 68: PS I don't have to tell you how muc
Page 69 and 70: To: jerrylives@freemail.com From: J
Page 71 and 72: To: Mel Fuller From: Tony Salerno
Page 73 and 74: humiliating! Tim Grabowski from Pro
Page 75 and 76: about dogs and chicken bones.... We
Page 77 and 78: was how much I hate the Chronicle,
Page 79 and 80: still have tomorrow's column to do.
Page 81 and 82: But what I simply cannot forgive yo
Page 83 and 84: PS You'll never guess what! One of
Page 85 and 86: Tim To: Tim Grabowski From: Nadine
Page 87 and 88: Friend Tim: Likewise, I'm sure. Our
Page 89 and 90: Subject: Miss Fuller Dearest John,
Page 91 and 92: To: John Trent From: Stacy Trent >
Page 93 and 94: PS We're out of Cheerios. Can you p
Page 95 and 96: To: Mel Fuller From: Aaron Spender
Page 97 and 98: ecipe for crab-stuffed flounder. I
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From: Mel Fuller Subject: My Last
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my sheets, which are sticky now, bu
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as far as I could tell. I mean, the
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From: Mel Fuller Subject: Snickerd
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To: Mel Fuller From: Nadine Wilcoc
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knocked a little while ago, but you
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IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU??
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LOVE, BRITTANY AND ASHLEY To: John
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To: David J. Belew From: John Tren
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Okay, I know it's been a long time
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hours. She never goes twenty-four h
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Tim To: Nadine Wilcock From: Georg
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To:Nadine Wilcock From: Mel Fuller
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I just don't understand what a guy
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To: Mel Fuller From: George Sanche
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Now, we can't really tell if any of
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Anyway, she's wracked all my credit
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was just lovely, and Donny looked s
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ight? Did you tell her it was too l
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To: Dolly Vargas From: Mel Fuller
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To: Nadine Wilcock From: Mel Fulle
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To: Sebastian Leandro From: Max Fr
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To: Mel Fuller From: jerrylives@fr
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Subject: Well, this is it We're lea
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that means it’s time for WORKING?
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To: Mel Fuller From: jerrylives@fr
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To: John Trent From: Stacy Trent
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To: jerrylives@freemail.com From:Me
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stalls.... Go in there and tell her
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security desk, trying to get signed
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To: Mel Fuller From: Dolly Vargas
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pursue a restraining order against
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Something has got to be done about
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could do for all the advice she's g
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think we should just print a big bl
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To: John Trent From: Michael Evere
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If Trent doesn't sue the pants off
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From: Sergeant Paul Reese Subject:
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To: John Trent From: Mel Fuller S
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To: Nadine Wilcock From: Mel Fulle
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To: Mel Fuller From: Max Friedland
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To: John Trent From: Mel Fuller S
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To: Max Friedlander From: Sebastia
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anyway. And what do you think happe
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I would be honored to go to lunch w
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I just spoke with John. He is so do
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whole thing with John has sent you
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Geez, calm down, will you? Max isn'
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To: Tony Salerno From: Nadine Wilc
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Tim Grabowski ; George Sanchez Fro
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From: Mel Fuller Subject: Lunch Oh
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To: George Sanchez From: Mel Fulle
Page 210 and 211:
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From: Genevieve Randolph Trent Sub
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But Nadine, I do now, I really beli
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To: Mel Fuller From: Max Friedland
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Don't try to tell me she won't, eit
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Um, I think she had to do some rese
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Max: Don't you know it. Then she ha
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"The perpetrator wished to throw in
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To: Mel Fuller From: Vivica@sophis
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To: Mel Fuller From: John Trent S
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The Boy Next Door - Weebly

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