The Boy Next Door - Weebly

Not seltzer. Not wine. Not Glenfiddich on the rocks, or a Cosmo. Beer. She said she had
two kinds: Light, and root. I had root. So did she. She showed me where Max's aunt keeps the
dog and cat food. She told me where to buy more, in case I ran out. She told me what Paco's
favorite walks were. She showed me how lure a cat named, and I kid you not, Mr. Peepers, out
from underneath the bed. She asked me about my work for the Save the Children fund. She
asked me about my trip to Ethiopia. She asked me if I'd been to visit my aunt in the hospital, and
if it had upset me very much, seeing her with all those tubs coming out of her. She patted me on
the arm and told me not to worry, that if anyone could come out of a coma, it was my aunt Helen.
And I stood there and grinned like an idiot and pretended I was Max Friedlander.
Anyway, I'm moving in. To Helen Friedlander's apartment. So if you need to call me, the
number's 212-555-8972. Only don't call. Loud ringing noises, I've discovered, upset Mr.Peepers.
Gotta go.
John
To: John Trent
From: Jason Trent
Subject: Who are you?
And what have you done with my brother? He used to be a rational human being,
until he started pretending to be Max Friedlander and met this Melissa person.
ARE YOU INSANE????? You can't move into that woman's apartment. What is wrong
with you? GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
Jason
To: John Trent
From: Jason Trent
Subject: I think it's sweet
Hi, John. It's Stacy, your sister-in-law. Jason let me read your last email. I hope you
don't mind. I also hope you don't listen to him. I think what you are doing is very sweet,
helping out that poor girl next door with the old lady's pets. Jason is trying to tell me that
you aren't doing it to be nice, and something about red hair, but I am not listening to him.
He has a very sick mind. He told me just the other day that the music on my pregnancy exercise
video sounds like the music from a porno! When has he ever watched porn, is what I would like to
know. Anyway, I'm just saying, don't you feel bad about pretending to be this Max person.
It's for a greater good. And why don't you ask the little redhead over for dinner on Sunday
night? I'll make sure I tell the girls to call you Max. They'll think it's fun, I'm sure.
Like a game! Well, that's all for now. Hope to see you soon.