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<strong>The</strong> Human Resources Division <strong>The</strong> New York Journal Please note that any future tardies may result in suspension or dismissal. To: Mel Fuller From: Nadine Wilcock Subject: You are in trouble Mel, where were you? I saw that Amy Jenkins from Human Resources skulking around your cubicle. I think you’re in for another one of those tardy notices. What is this, your 50th? You better have a good excuse this time, because George was saying a little while ago that gossip columnists are a dime a dozen, and that he could get Liz Smith over here in a second to replace you if he wanted to. I think he was joking. It was hard to tell because the Coke machine is broken, and he hadn't had his morning Mountain Dew yet. By the way, did something happen last night between you and Aaron? He's been playing Wagner in his cubicle again. You know how this bugs George. Did you two have another fight? Are we doing lunch later or what? Nad :-) To: Mel Fuller From: Aaron Spender Subject: Last night Where are you, Mel? Are you going to be completely childish about this and not come in to the office until you're sure I've left for the day? Is that it? Can't we sit down and discuss this like adults? Aaron Spender Senior Correspondent New York Journal To: Mel Fuller From: Dolly Vargas Subject: Aaron Spender Melissa-- Don't get the wrong idea, darling, I WASN'T spying on you, but a girl would have to be BLIND not to have noticed how you brained Aaron Spender with your bag last night at Pastis. You probably didn't even notice me, I was at the bar, and I looked around because
I thought I heard your name, of all things--weren't you supposed to be covering the Prada show?--and then BOOM! Altoids and Maybelline all over the place. Darling, it was precious. You really have excellent aim, you know. But I highly doubt Kate Spade meant that adorable little clutch to be used as a projectile. I'm sure she'd have made the clasp stronger if she'd only known women were going to be backhanding the thing around like a volleyball. Seriously, darling, I just need to know: Is it all over between you and Aaron? Because I never thought you were right for each other. I mean, the man was in the running for a Pulitzer, for God's sake! Although if you ask me, anyone could have written that story about that little Ethiopian boy. I found it perfectly maudlin. That part about his sister selling her body to provide him with rice...please. Too Dickensian. So you aren't going to be difficult about this, are you? Because I've got an invite to Steven's place in the Hamptons, and I was thinking of inviting Aaron to mix Cosmos for me. But I won't if you're going to go Joan Collins on me. P.S. You really should have called if you weren't going to come in today, darling. I think you're in trouble. I saw that little troll-like person (Amy something?) from Human Resources sniffing around your desk earlier. Dolly XXXOOO To: Mel Fuller From: George Sanchez Subject: Where the hell were you? Where the hell are you? You appear to be under the mistaken impression that comp days don't have to be pre-arranged with your employer. This is not exactly convincing me that you are columnist material. More like copy-edit material, Fuller. G To: Mel Fuller From: Aaron Spender Subject: Last night This is really beneath you, Melissa. I mean, for God's sake, Barbara and I were in a war zone together. Anti-aircraft fire was exploding all around us. We thought we'd be captured by rebel forces at any moment. Can't you understand that? It meant nothing to me, Melissa, I swear it. My God, I should never have told you. I thought you could be mature about this. But to pull a disappearing act like this.... Well, I'd never have expected it from a woman like you, that's all I have to say.
Page 1: The Boy Next Door The Boy Next Door
Page 5 and 6: 7:55--Stagger to kitchen. Ingest no
Page 7 and 8: her brain from a giant blood clot t
Page 9 and 10: To: Aaron Spender From: Mel Fuller
Page 11 and 12: the wedding's off. Every girl in my
Page 13 and 14: To: Mel Fuller From: Nadine Wilcoc
Page 15 and 16: Well, enjoy! And you make sure you
Page 17 and 18: To: Mel Fuller From: George Sanche
Page 19 and 20: From: Mel Fuller Subject: I can't
Page 21 and 22: prostituting himself out for photo
Page 23 and 24: To: Tom Barrett From: Max Friedlan
Page 25 and 26: To: Jason Trent From: John Trent
Page 27 and 28: To: Max Friedlander From: John Tre
Page 29 and 30: To: Jason Trent From: John Trent
Page 31 and 32: you who are born into money, the in
Page 33 and 34: What's more important to him, a bun
Page 35 and 36: Subject: Well???? DON'T TELL NADINE
Page 37 and 38: all. Although I guess it wasn't rea
Page 39 and 40: To: Mel Fuller From: Aaron Spender
Page 41 and 42: From: Jason Trent Subject: How'd I
Page 43 and 44: Your loving sister-in-law, Stacy To
Page 45 and 46: And you do???????????? To: Sergeant
Page 47 and 48: prints, etc. But unless that happen
Page 49 and 50: From: Tony Salerno Subject: Cut it
Page 51 and 52: ad as you say, or are you exaggerat
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Sure. The seven o'clock show would
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of you at Stella's baby shower. And
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To: John Trent From: Jason Trent
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same time. This is a marked improve
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To: Nadine Wilcock From: Mel Fulle
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To: jerrylives@freemail.com From: M
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ever coming to visit us again. Are
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PS I don't have to tell you how muc
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To: jerrylives@freemail.com From: J
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To: Mel Fuller From: Tony Salerno
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humiliating! Tim Grabowski from Pro
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about dogs and chicken bones.... We
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was how much I hate the Chronicle,
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still have tomorrow's column to do.
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But what I simply cannot forgive yo
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PS You'll never guess what! One of
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Tim To: Tim Grabowski From: Nadine
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Friend Tim: Likewise, I'm sure. Our
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Subject: Miss Fuller Dearest John,
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To: John Trent From: Stacy Trent >
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PS We're out of Cheerios. Can you p
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To: Mel Fuller From: Aaron Spender
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ecipe for crab-stuffed flounder. I
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From: Mel Fuller Subject: My Last
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my sheets, which are sticky now, bu
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as far as I could tell. I mean, the
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From: Mel Fuller Subject: Snickerd
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To: Mel Fuller From: Nadine Wilcoc
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knocked a little while ago, but you
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IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU??
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LOVE, BRITTANY AND ASHLEY To: John
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To: David J. Belew From: John Tren
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Okay, I know it's been a long time
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hours. She never goes twenty-four h
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Tim To: Nadine Wilcock From: Georg
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To:Nadine Wilcock From: Mel Fuller
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I just don't understand what a guy
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To: Mel Fuller From: George Sanche
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Now, we can't really tell if any of
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Anyway, she's wracked all my credit
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was just lovely, and Donny looked s
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ight? Did you tell her it was too l
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To: Dolly Vargas From: Mel Fuller
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To: Sebastian Leandro From: Max Fr
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To: Mel Fuller From: jerrylives@fr
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Subject: Well, this is it We're lea
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that means it’s time for WORKING?
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To: Mel Fuller From: jerrylives@fr
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To: John Trent From: Stacy Trent
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To: jerrylives@freemail.com From:Me
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stalls.... Go in there and tell her
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security desk, trying to get signed
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To: Mel Fuller From: Dolly Vargas
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pursue a restraining order against
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Something has got to be done about
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could do for all the advice she's g
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think we should just print a big bl
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To: John Trent From: Michael Evere
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If Trent doesn't sue the pants off
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From: Sergeant Paul Reese Subject:
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To: John Trent From: Mel Fuller S
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To: Mel Fuller From: Max Friedland
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To: John Trent From: Mel Fuller S
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To: Max Friedlander From: Sebastia
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anyway. And what do you think happe
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I would be honored to go to lunch w
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I just spoke with John. He is so do
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whole thing with John has sent you
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Geez, calm down, will you? Max isn'
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To: Tony Salerno From: Nadine Wilc
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Tim Grabowski ; George Sanchez Fro
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From: Mel Fuller Subject: Lunch Oh
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To: George Sanchez From: Mel Fulle
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From: Genevieve Randolph Trent Sub
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But Nadine, I do now, I really beli
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To: Mel Fuller From: Max Friedland
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Don't try to tell me she won't, eit
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Um, I think she had to do some rese
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Max: Don't you know it. Then she ha
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"The perpetrator wished to throw in
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To: Mel Fuller From: Vivica@sophis
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To: Mel Fuller From: John Trent S
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