The Boy Next Door - Weebly
The Boy Next Door - Weebly
The Boy Next Door - Weebly
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From: Mel Fuller <br />
Subject: Snickerdoodles<br />
Oh my God, Mother, I am NOT having sex with him, all right? I am just talking about<br />
kissing! How do you go from kissing to sex? Well, all right, I guess it's a natural<br />
progression, but still. That thing about the cow is so stupid. Do I look like a cow to you?<br />
Besides, whatever happened to trying the pants on before you buy them, huh? That's the<br />
advice Daddy gave Robbie before he went away to college. What do I get? <strong>The</strong> stupid cow thing!<br />
Well, for your information, Mother, I might want to try some pants on myself. Has that<br />
ever occurred to you? I mean, there are a lot of pants out there, and how am I going to<br />
find the right ones if I don't try on all the potential candidates? You know, after a<br />
thorough screening process? And OF COURSE if I do decide to try on these particular pants,<br />
I will use the utmost safety precautions. I mean, for God's sake, this is the 00s, after all.<br />
Would you PLEASE not tell any of this to Daddy? I am begging you.<br />
Mel<br />
To: Mel Fuller <br />
From: Don and Beverly Fuller <br />
Subject: Snickerdoodles<br />
You don't have to shout, sweetie. I can read you just fine in lower case letters.<br />
Of course I trust you and know that you will make the right decision. And I'm sure<br />
you're right about the pants. I know you'll do what's best. You always have.<br />
I just think a good rule of thumb would be not to try on any pants that haven't mentioned<br />
the "L" word. I know lots of pants--French and Italian pants, in particular--toss around<br />
the "L" word at the drop of a hat, but I think American pants are a little more reticent<br />
about it. When they say it, I think they usually mean it.<br />
So will you do me a favor and just get the "L" word first? Because I know you, Melissa. I<br />
know how easily your little heart gets broken. I was there for Jer, wasn't I?<br />
So you just wait until you've heard the "L" word, all right?<br />
I saw on the news that the transvestite killer has attacked another woman, this time on<br />
the Upper East Side! I hope you're locking your door at night, sweetie. He especially<br />
seems fond of size sixes, so you really need to look over your shoulder when you go out<br />
at night, honey. But don't forget to look out for those sinkholes!<br />
Love,<br />
Mommy<br />
PS And the falling air conditioners.<br />
To: Nadine Wilcock
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