frasier - eight - 1.pdf

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FRASIER: I'm waiting! For an apology. For that unprovoked broadside you leveled at me. NILES: You expect me to apologize to you? FRASIER: Expect it, sir, and demand it! NILES: Well, then, here's my answer: No! And furthermore, why don't you take your broadside, stuff it in a chair, and keep your unlimited supply of opinions, suggestions, proposals and recommendations to yourself?! FRASIER: Well, I never! NILES: No, you always! MARTIN: How's a corned beef sandwich sound? FRASIER: I am appalled! MARTIN: Well, no problem, there's some smoked turkey in here, too. FRASIER: What is my offense? What egregious sin have I committed, that I should be so maligned? Was I to just sit idly by and watch these two misguided souls embark on doomed relationships? Would they have thanked me for that? Not very likely, I dare say. MARTIN: Who moved the mustard? FRASIER: Top shelf, door. And then, when they were perched on the very brink of disaster, I snatched them from the gaping maw and placed them gently into one another's arms. But am I accorded a hero's welcome for my troubles? Am I hoisted on their shoulders and paraded about the room? MARTIN: I don't have my glasses, what's the expiration date? FRASIER: Last week. MARTIN: I'll chance it. FRASIER: No! Those two ingrates turn on me like vipers, and make me the villain of the piece. Well, hear me now, this day forward, Frasier Crane will not interfere with those two! This is it! Finished, finito! Non quam posterior! I know I've made declarations like this before, but I tell you what, Dad, you mark the calendar! You note the time on your watch! This - Is - It! MARTIN: Well, if you figure out a way to get them back together, I'll be in my room if you need any help. FRASIER: Have you been listening to me? MARTIN: Well, I tried not to, but some of it still got through. DAPHNE: Hello, Dr. Crane. Making yourself a sandwich? FRASIER: No, Dad did.
DAPHNE: Hope he didn't use the mayonnaise, I meant to throw it out. FRASIER: I've seen him eat worse. DAPHNE: I'll say. Remember when he dropped his hot dog at the petting zoo? Oh, Dr. Crane, I'm so sorry I said those things about you! I didn't mean them. I guess this all finally came crashing down on me. FRASIER: Yes, I know. It's perfectly understandable. Listen, I know you can't go out on your date with Niles tonight, but what's to stop two friends from going out to dinner? My treat, you can even wear that new dress of yours. DAPHNE: Thank you. That's a lovely offer, but I think I'll just stay home tonight, have a quiet night. FRASIER: Sure you won't change your mind? DAPHNE: Positive. SIMON: Hello, all. My furry friend and I have just concluded our daily constitutional, with young Edward here dropping a few amendments along the way. So what's on the docket tonight, eh? DAPHNE: All I want is a quiet night at home. SIMON: Oh, Stilts, you and I are of one mind. I'll hoist a beer while you get dinner started, and then when our bellies are full and you've done the dishes, we will adjourn to the Winnebago where Mr. Jean Claude van Damme, the "Muscles from Brussels", will ply his trade against the forces of evil. FRASIER: Ready at <strong>eight</strong>? DAPHNE: Make it seven thirty. Frasier's Apartment. NILES: Good idea, Dad. An evening out, just the two of us. I had no idea you enjoyed the Natural History Museum. MARTIN: Oh, sure. And that documentary on the rain forest is supposed to be great. NILES: That's what I hear. MARTIN: Hope it has pygmies, I like pygmies. NILES: I know you do. So, where's... MARTIN: She went out with Frasier to a restaurant for dinner. NILES: Oh. Did she happen to ask about... Oh. Dad, we're going up. MARTIN: I'm sorry. We'll just have to take the long way.
Page 1 and 2: FRASIER SEASON EIGHT PART 1 And the
Page 3 and 4: NILES: Maybe we should just... DAPH
Page 5 and 6: MARTIN: All right, I give up! Try t
Page 7 and 8: NILES: Well, you won't believe this
Page 9 and 10: FRASIER: Tell me about it. NILES: N
Page 11 and 12: he's now suing me as well for the p
Page 13 and 14: The bar, where Frasier is talking t
Page 15: DAPHNE: I hate the way this is star
Page 19 and 20: NILES: Would you like to dance? DAP
Page 21 and 22: Frasier sits down beside Miranda--c
Page 23 and 24: FRASIER: Exactly what chapter would
Page 25 and 26: Apartment. Night. Frasier opens the
Page 27 and 28: Miranda told me you filled out an a
Page 29 and 30: The Great Crane Robbery KACL. Frasi
Page 31 and 32: FRASIER: Whatever gets you out of t
Page 33 and 34: Apartment. Night. Frasier opens the
Page 35 and 36: Chez Henri. Niles and Mel are with

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