frasier - eight - 1.pdf

FRASIER: I'm waiting! For an apology. For that unprovoked
broadside you leveled at me.
NILES: You expect me to apologize to you?
FRASIER: Expect it, sir, and demand it!
NILES: Well, then, here's my answer: No! And furthermore,
why don't you take your broadside, stuff it in a chair, and
keep your unlimited supply of opinions, suggestions,
proposals and recommendations to yourself?!
FRASIER: Well, I never!
NILES: No, you always!
MARTIN: How's a corned beef sandwich sound?
FRASIER: I am appalled!
MARTIN: Well, no problem, there's some smoked turkey in
here, too.
FRASIER: What is my offense? What egregious sin have I
committed, that I should be so maligned? Was I to just sit
idly by and watch these two misguided souls embark on
doomed relationships? Would they have thanked me
for that? Not very likely, I dare say.
MARTIN: Who moved the mustard?
FRASIER: Top shelf, door. And then, when they were
perched on the very brink of disaster, I snatched them
from the gaping maw and placed them gently into one
another's arms. But am I accorded a hero's welcome for
my troubles? Am I hoisted on their shoulders and paraded
about the room?
MARTIN: I don't have my glasses, what's the expiration
date?
FRASIER: Last week.
MARTIN: I'll chance it.
FRASIER: No! Those two ingrates turn on me like vipers,
and make me the villain of the piece. Well, hear me
now, this day forward, Frasier Crane will not interfere
with those two! This is it! Finished, finito! Non quam
posterior! I know I've made declarations like this before,
but I tell you what, Dad, you mark the calendar! You
note the time on your watch! This - Is - It!
MARTIN: Well, if you figure out a way to get them back
together, I'll be in my room if you need any help.
FRASIER: Have you been listening to me?
MARTIN: Well, I tried not to, but some of it still got
through.
DAPHNE: Hello, Dr. Crane. Making yourself a sandwich?
FRASIER: No, Dad did.