frasier - eight - 1.pdf

FRASIER: Isn't this all too typical? Niles leaves his wife for
another woman, he gets a gift. I try to do the right thing
and I get Mr. Chump and a lawsuit!
MARTIN: Frasier, I know you thought it was for the best,
but I told you not to go see Donny, didn't I? But you went
down there anyway, didn't you? I told you not to screw
around with lawyers, didn't I? I told him not to go down
there.
FRASIER: Will you shut up?! All right, there she goes. Niles?
NILES: Well, all things considered, not so bad. In
exchange for a neat and tidy divorce, all I have to do
is play the doting husband at some social functions for a
few weeks.
MARTIN: Oh, that doesn't sound so bad.
FRASIER: What kind of social functions?
NILES: Well, for instance, tonight is our wedding reception.
Since we eloped, some of Mel's colleagues decided to
throw a last minute get-together to toast our nuptials.
MARTIN: Well, after Donny gets through with Frasier, you
won't be the only one getting your nuptials toasted.
Frasier's Apartment.
DAPHNE: Explain to me again how you and Mel
masquerading as husband and wife is a good thing?
FRASIER: If I may, Daphne, it's basically to give Mel a little
wiggle room so she can get out of this debacle with her
dignity intact.
DAPHNE: And what about Niles' dignity?
FRASIER: Well, Maris got that in the divorce.
NILES: Listen, Daphne, I know this is all very awkward, but
if it speeds up the divorce process and avoids the misery
I went through with Maris, isn't it worth it? Oh, come on,
Shnookums, we can get through this together. What do
you say?
DAPHNE: What did you just call me? Shnookums...
NILES: It was an attempt at a pet name.
DAPHNE: Well, if it's all the same to you, can we keep
looking?
NILES: Absolutely, there's no rush whatsoever... truffles.
It's the chocolate, not the fungus. It's a work in
progress.
FRASIER: Here we are. For you... Here it is: To better days.
For all of us. I went down to talk to Donny, try to
convince him to drop his lawsuit against you. Instead,