1928 - Monroe County Library System

Central Library of Rochester and Monroe County · Yearbook Collection
11 RED LIGHT GRAPHIC, NOVEMBER 10,
GIRL INHERITS VAST FORTUNE
Will Spend the Rest of
Her Life on Isles
of Pago Pago
PAGO PAGO (Special Dispatch)—Little
did Gloria Gould dream today that she
would be the heiress to the Mayflower millions
when she went to work this morning in Joe
Henks Hash House. Slinging the hash as
usual about noon, a messenger boy walked
into the greasy restaurant and handed Gloria
a piece of yellow paper which changed her
whole life.
Ten thousand years ago, when Gloria's
grandfather and the Mayflower ancestors
played in the same trees together—the two
clans swore allegiance to each other. As the
years went on the two clans separated. Gloria's
folks went into vaudeville, while the
Mayflowers went into the ship building racket.
The will read yesterday after the death of
Dandilion Mayflower in New York revealed
how the two families were linked up again.
It is one of the mysteries of the ages, but
anyhow read the will yourself. The will:
"All the money that I possess in this world,
I bequeath to Gloria Gould, on condition
that her pal, Sadie Thompson, doesn't get a
cent of it. 1 discovered the whereabouts of
Gloria through a sailor that roams the world
over, and he revealed her residence in the
Samoan Islands at Pago Pago." (Signed)
Dandilion Mayflower.
As soon as Gloria heard of her good fortune,
she tossed the dirty apron she was wearing
into the face of the proprietor of the beanery.
She jumped on top of a nearby table, and
gave the patrons a treat when she broke into
a wild dance of joy.
Gloria will not spend her money all in one
place. She will buy an umbrella to keep out
the "RAIN," and sit under a banana tree on
the South Sea Isles.
"The first thing that I will do," said Gloria,
"is to buy a ukelele." That is the most popular
instrument in use now on the Pago Pago
isle. It's even more popular than a saxaphone,
and that's going some.
The three million dollars that are Gloria's
to do with as she pleases will be placed in
trust with Banker Davey of the United
States. "I don't know how to spend money,"
says Gloria, "you know, it's the man who pays
everytime, it's the man!"
WILL YOU LIVE AT
THE AGE OF 109?
Statistics released by the Health Bureau
today show that every man over the age of
109 has a very slight chance of living ten
more years. "Yes," replied Doctor MoTer in
reply to a reporter's query, "It, took us ten
years of intensive research to find out that
single important fact, and now that we have
discovered the truth, we will labor to find out
why beards don't grow on women."
Venus at the Pump Chooses
Suitor From Among Hundreds
VVllA.1 H.O !—she cried when the hundreds of suitors
surged around her and madly proclaimed their undying devotion.
The results of the hot race for Venus' hand will be found on the
sporting page.
Varsity
Drag
Hits
Paris
With
Crash
PARIS (Onion Press).—The latest dance
craze to hit the local gas-tanks is known
as the Varsity Drag, and one needs to
possess much dexterity to be able to do it
ill the local saloons.
It originated when Professor Whitaker
of Rochester made the Parisiennessit up
and take notice the other day when he
stepped into the Cafe Monteparnesse, and
started to dance.
When interviewed, Professor Whitaker
remarked that he does not know what it
is all about, and that he was probably
drunk that day that he danced in the cafe.
The dance will be taken up by all the
celebrities of Paris' underworld.
The spirit of Romance has not yet disappeared
from our civilization. As witness to
this fact, glance at the accompanying photo
which depicts a scene in one of the city parks,
just as the sun is dropping over the western
hills and the moon is slowly rising on the
horizon.
Unbeknownst to the two happy couples
pictured, the Graphic staff photographer,
under great difficulty, snapped this charming
photo, thereby securing genuineness and
realism otherwise hard to obtain. The personages
are Robert Roehn, a local shoemaker,
Agnes Reynaldo, one of the city's elite,
Henrietta Pie, daughter of the famous Eskimo,
and Louis Loosefoot, another shoemaker.
Roehn may be seen in the midst, of an impassioned
speech to the fair Miss Reynaldo,
while Loosefoot is waxing eloquent to the
equally fair Miss Pie, unconscious of the
i nt Hiding presence of our daring photographer.
For thirty-three minutes straight, by the
photographer's watch, they held this one
pose, without variation. Loosefoot was the
first to give out, being forced to stand up for a
few moments. Roehn followed a moment later
by changing to his other knee. Loosefoot and
Pie forged ahead in the next hour by holding
their following pose for forty minutes, and
finally came out ahead when Roehn and
Reynaldo fell exhausted, and were carried out.