1928 - Monroe County Library System

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RED LIGHT GRAPHIC, DECEMBEB "2.5, 0001 Prexy Pulls Pip on Pupils ORGY- When the orgy was at its height, the Graphic photo man snapped this view. Two popular students are resting up between numbers on the piano. THE RED LIGHT GRAPHIC SCOOPS 'EM ALL Cosmoposograph diagram showing how the Graphic fotographer snapped the daring picture at the wild party. The above is the first view from the battle-grounds, which again proves the superiority of the Graphic. Central Library of Rochester and Monroe County · Yearbook Collection Students Cavort at a Wild Orgy Which Draws Furious Fire! ADAMS BASIN (Assasinated Press)— The wildest of wild orgies at high school parties was revealed today when Principal I. M. Hawkshaw expelled ten pupils from the Buckeye High School for participation in alleged "flaming youth" party. Says Principal Hawkshaw, "Over my dead body will I tolerate such action as I discovered when I attended a class party last evening in the school. Imagine my embarrassment when a sixteen-year-old girl insisted that I do the Varsity Drag with her. And to think that they served punch without even batting an eyelash. Such brazen conduct warrants fast action—and out they go." This leaves the Buckeye High School without a senior class, since the entire class of ten students received their walking papers. Many of the students will transfer to the Yeast High of Rochester. Introducing « « The Exasper Eight The Reason Why Girls Leave Home
Central Library of Rochester and Monroe County · Yearbook Collection RED LIGHT GRAPHIC, JUNE 7, 1928 Prof.Hubie Finds Darwin Right Missing Link Is Clue To Mystery of the Dizzy Centuries KALAMAZOO (Special Wire)—Conclusive evidence that Darwin was right ha been discovered today by Professor Hubie Bitter of the Landsdale School for Effeminate Women. While strolling through the woods in the neighborhood of the school, Professor Bitter suddenly perceived a human being swinging from branch to branch high u{ among the trees. "Aha," ejaculated Professor Bitter, "this undoubtedly must be the Ehzalsixntihgn specimen of the prehistoric period of fungarlity growth which is common to the Neanderathal personification of highgly undeveloped tomato herrings." In other words, the professor was delighted with finding the Missing Link. The link that brings two civilizations together is one of the finest specimens yet discovered. It is the exact image of a Xlort, yet it has features common to the human being. When the professor bagged the Missing Link, it was gurgling in a snorting soprano, "The key, the key, whiskey, oh give me the key." Immediately, the professor busied himself with experiments. So he sang, "My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean" to the Missing Link. The Link playfully bit a chunk of meat out of the professor's leg, but the professor was so absentminded that he thought his garter broke. After singing two verses of that ballad, the Missing Link came in on the chorus, but it insisted on taking friendly bites out of the professor. "This was to show his affection," tin- professor remarked. In regards to the future of the Missing Link, contracts from all over the world have poured in. The Link is trying to decide whether to go into the movies or talk over the radio, and there is strong possibility that the Link will go on a lecture tour. LINK—Look fast, folks, here is Owie Owie, the only missing link in captivity. In a scientific test of the four leading brands of Pepoxids, Owie Owie selected Kisterine as the best while blindfolded. SPACE for RENT Apply Inside Tabloid News Little details in the days news that may have escaped you (By L T nion Pressers) Hong Kong—The United Brotherhood of Ping Pong Launderers voted today to raise the rates of washing. Everybody received the news with happiness, including the Launderers. New York—President Coolidge made a speech today. It's too long for this paper to report. Fairport—Mayor Hess today announced that hereafter all residents will have to be in bed by 8:30 P. M. (postmaster's time). New Haven—Herb Heesch today was signed up by the Schaffer Pretzel works to pose as a model for their advertisements. Heesch will get a three year contract. Nile—Hula Hula Cafe will have a new attraction next week, when the popular Gilda Grey of the Nile, Dot Corn, will have the big spot on the cafe program. Pottsdam—Margie Munce was elected president of the Kisterine Corporation this morning. She is the first woman to hold such an important position in this mammoth •oncern. Hail to the Champion \fter a hard eleven hour match, Clarence Neuse of San Antonio defeated John Roemer of Fishtown for the North and South Open I!hess Championship here today. Neuse was veak in the beginning, but came back strong n the last four chukkers. Koemer started in well, but became disconcerted when Neuse coughed three hours and hirteen minutes after the start of the match, le foolishly moved a pawn, and from then >n weakened rapidly. Neuse astounded the spectators in the ourth inning by suddenly capturing Roemer's
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1928 - Monroe County Library System

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