Chapter 6 - Ethical Culture Fieldston School

“Mr. Sinatra Gets Rejected”
In my mind, however, the actual summit was reached on this March
night. Sinatra was reputedly miserable. His wife Nancy was refusing to give him
a divorce, and a notably unsympathetic Gardner, who had a weakness for
Spanish bullfighters, was making it clear to Sinatra that she would not wait
indefinitely to get married. Interestingly, the song scheduled for the evening’s
session was one – the only one, in fact – for which Sinatra claimed a songwriting
credit. It was called “I’m a Fool to Want You.” 38
To borrow a term of psychoanalysts, the tone of “I’m a Fool to Want You”
was “overdetermined” before he ever sang a note. Arranger Alex Stordahl
opened the song with dark, almost weeping strings, a mood augmented by
haunting backup vocals. When Sinatra himself enters, the emotion escalates even
as the arrangement recedes; the intensity he brings to the words takes the feeling
beyond heartsickness into bona fide grief. The death in question is not that of a
relationship, but rather the self‐respect of a man who hates himself for what he
has become. Mere words can’t express this loathing: you have to hear it to
believe it. Although a composer and lyricist also worked on the song (and
probably were the primary writers), it seems unusually apropos for Sinatra to
receive songwriting credit for “Fool”: his contribution to it is utterly
unmistakable.
One of the more remarkable aspects of “Fool” is that it does not simply
capture a powerful inner experience. It also charts a trajectory of emotion from
resistance to capitulation. At first, the singer acknowledges that indulging in his
longing is counterproductive. But by the bridge of the song, there’s a slippage
between past and present, and it becomes increasingly clear that its lovelorn
protagonist has not gotten over the relationship. In the end, he lapses into a
38 For factual background on “I’m a Fool to Want You,” see Ed O’Brien with Robert Wilson, Sinatra 101:
American History for Cynical Beginners
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