the Equinox - The Hermetic Library
the Equinox - The Hermetic Library the Equinox - The Hermetic Library
246 THE EQUINOX I had now almost come to the conclusion that I was absolutely unsusceptible of the hasheesh influence. Without any expectation that this last experiment would be more successful than the former ones, and indeed with no realisation of the manner in which the drug affected those who did make the experiment successfully, I went to pass the evening at the house of an intimate friend. In music and conversation the time passed pleasantly. The clock struck ten, reminding me that three hours had elapsed since the dose was taken, and as yet not an unusual symptom had appeared. I was provoked to think that this trial was as fruitless as its predecessors. Ha! what means this sudden thrill? A shock, as of some unimagined vital force, shoots without warning through my entire frame, leaping to my fingers' ends, piercing my brain, startling me till I almost spring from my chair. I could not doubt it. I was in the power of the hasheesh influence. My first emotion was one of uncontrollable terror—a sense of getting something which I had not bargained for. That moment I would have given all I had or hoped to have to be as I was three hours before. No pain anywhere—not a twinge in any fibre—yet a cloud of unutterable strangeness was settling upon me, and wrapping me impenetrably in from all that was natural or familiar. As I heard once more the alien and unreal tones of my own voice, I became convinced that it was some one else who spoke, and in another world. I sat and listened; still the voice kept speaking. Now for the first time I experienced that vast change which hasheesh makes in all measurements of time. The first world of the reply occupied a period sufficient
THE HASHEESH EATER for the action of a drama; the last left me in complete ignorance of any point far enough back in the past to date the commencement of the sentence. Its enunciation might have occupied years. I was not in the same life which had held me when I heard it begun. And now, with time, space expanded also. At my friend's house one particular arm-chair was always reserved for me. I was sitting in it at a distance of hardly three feet from the centre table around which the members of the family were grouped. Rapidly that distance widened. The whole atmosphere seemed ductile, and spun endlessly out into great spaces surrounding me on every side. We were in a vast hall, of which my friends and I occupied opposite extremities. The ceiling and the walls ran upward with a gliding motion as if vivified by a sudden force of resistless growth. Oh! I could not bear it. I should soon be left alone in the midst of an infinity of space. And now more and more every moment increased the conviction that I was watched. I did not know then, as I learned afterward, that suspicion of all earthly things and persons was the characteristic of the hasheesh delirium. In the midst of my complicated hallucination, I could perceive that I had a dual existence. One portion of me was whirled unresistingly along the track of this tremendous experience, the other sat looking down fro a height upon its double, observing, reasoning, and serenely weighting all the phenomena. This calmer being suffered with the other by sympathy, but did not lose its self-possession. The servant had not come. 247
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- Page 225 and 226: THE INTERPRETER MOTHER of Light, an
- Page 227 and 228: THE DAUGHTER OF THE HORSELEECH A FA
- Page 229 and 230: THE DAUGHTER OF THE HORSELEECH one
- Page 231 and 232: THE DAUGHTER OF THE HORSELEECH “S
- Page 233 and 234: THE DAUGHTER OF THE HORSELEECH and
- Page 235 and 236: MR. TODD A MORALITY BY THE AUTHOR O
- Page 237 and 238: MR. TODD PERSONS OF THE PLAY GRANDF
- Page 239 and 240: ACT I GRANDFATHER sunk in melanchol
- Page 241 and 242: MR. TODD OSSORY. Thank you, my dear
- Page 243 and 244: MR. TODD sentiments. I have heard v
- Page 245 and 246: MR. TODD GRANDFATHER. Oh, my sciati
- Page 247 and 248: MR. TODD CARR. —Anything I don't
- Page 249 and 250: MR. TODD not Shaw! Vaughan, or Gore
- Page 251 and 252: MR. TODD DELHOMME. Of you—of thee
- Page 253 and 254: MR. TODD Nothing right nowadays! Oh
- Page 255 and 256: MR. TODD OSSORY. that's it! they wo
- Page 257 and 258: MR. TODD one never knows whether yo
- Page 259 and 260: MR. TODD EUPHEMIA. How splendid! Yo
- Page 261 and 262: MR. TODD I hate you! I hate you! Wh
- Page 263 and 264: THE GNOME Stumbling over the fallen
- Page 265 and 266: REVIEWS DARE TO BE WISE. By JOHN MC
- Page 267: THE HERB DANGEROUS PART IV A FEW EX
- Page 270 and 271: 244 THE EQUINOX minnesinger, or "tr
- Page 274 and 275: 248 THE EQUINOX “Shall I call her
- Page 276 and 277: 250 THE EQUINOX I rose that I might
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- Page 282 and 283: 256 THE EQUINOX place upon the bier
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- Page 286 and 287: 260 THE EQUINOX delicious dreams, I
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- Page 302 and 303: 276 THE EQUINOX Half skilled to ago
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- Page 310 and 311: 284 HALF-HOURS WITH FAMOUS MAHATMAS
- Page 312 and 313: 286 THE EQUINOX “Ha,” he replie
- Page 314 and 315: 288 THE EQUINOX “Virtue,” he de
- Page 316 and 317: 290 THE EQUINOX three head bell-wet
- Page 318 and 319: 292 THE EQUINOX SHELLEY. By FRANCIS
- Page 321 and 322: THE EYES OF ST. LJUBOV I “TELL it
THE HASHEESH EATER<br />
for <strong>the</strong> action of a drama; <strong>the</strong> last left me in complete<br />
ignorance of any point far enough back in <strong>the</strong> past to date <strong>the</strong><br />
commencement of <strong>the</strong> sentence. Its enunciation might have<br />
occupied years. I was not in <strong>the</strong> same life which had held me<br />
when I heard it begun.<br />
And now, with time, space expanded also. At my friend's<br />
house one particular arm-chair was always reserved for me. I<br />
was sitting in it at a distance of hardly three feet from <strong>the</strong><br />
centre table around which <strong>the</strong> members of <strong>the</strong> family were<br />
grouped. Rapidly that distance widened. <strong>The</strong> whole<br />
atmosphere seemed ductile, and spun endlessly out into great<br />
spaces surrounding me on every side. We were in a vast hall,<br />
of which my friends and I occupied opposite extremities. <strong>The</strong><br />
ceiling and <strong>the</strong> walls ran upward with a gliding motion as if<br />
vivified by a sudden force of resistless growth.<br />
Oh! I could not bear it. I should soon be left alone in <strong>the</strong><br />
midst of an infinity of space. And now more and more every<br />
moment increased <strong>the</strong> conviction that I was watched. I did<br />
not know <strong>the</strong>n, as I learned afterward, that suspicion of all<br />
earthly things and persons was <strong>the</strong> characteristic of <strong>the</strong><br />
hasheesh delirium.<br />
In <strong>the</strong> midst of my complicated hallucination, I could<br />
perceive that I had a dual existence. One portion of me was<br />
whirled unresistingly along <strong>the</strong> track of this tremendous<br />
experience, <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r sat looking down fro a height upon its<br />
double, observing, reasoning, and serenely weighting all <strong>the</strong><br />
phenomena. This calmer being suffered with <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r by<br />
sympathy, but did not lose its self-possession.<br />
<strong>The</strong> servant had not come.<br />
247