Lawyers Manual - Unified Court System

30 Jill Laurie Goodman
talk to her about the possibility of going to Family Court. You might suggest
that she look over her house or apartment to see how safe she would be if her
abuser tried to break in. She should consider buying better locks or stronger
windows and doors. Making herself difficult to find by getting a new job, a new
place to live, or a new social security number, if feasible, may be a good course
of action. An unlisted telephone number, caller ID, or a post office box may be
helpful. If she is being stalked, you might suggest that she alter her appearance
— color her hair or wear a different coat — and change her daily routes to work
or to school. If her abuser knows where she works, she might talk to her
employer about a different job assignment, away from the telephones or the
public or at a different worksite, and she may be able to enlist workplace
security personnel in her safety planning.
Children can both help and complicate safety planning. Sometimes a
client’s children can be taught to make collect calls to friends or relatives, to
dial 911, or to go to a neighbor’s for help. Code words can be arranged to signal
danger and the need to act. But children should be warned not to try to intervene
in an argument because they can get hurt. Also, an abuser may try to use children
as a means of gaining access to your client. Visitation transitions can be violent,
so you might encourage your client to think about arranging pick up and drop
off at a police station or a public place. Teachers and other adults in your
clients’ children’s life should be told about any order of protection and warned
against letting anyone besides designated caregivers pick up the children.
Just as your client is a critical source of information on danger, so too is she
an indispensable source of information on safety. She knows her own life, and,
equally importantly, she knows her abuser — she is probably an expert on his
habits and his ways of thinking. The New York State Office for the Prevention of
Domestic Violence has a good safety checklist (reproduced on the next page) for
victims to fill out themselves that you might suggest to your client, 13 but you also
should encourage her to think creatively and independently about her own safety
because ultimately the decisions about how to protect herself are in her hands.