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Working with Older Volunteers in Manual Intergenerational Projects Constructive handling of conflicts (“The source of all conflicts between me and my kind is that I do not say what I mean and do not do what I say”) (Martin Buber 1878-1965). When people end up in conflicts, in whatever environment (private or professional, intercultural or intergenerational...), they frequently perceive this situation as a disturbance or threat. As a consequence, many avoid conflicts, escape, or attempt to impose their opinion upon their opponent. There is, however, another way of dealing with them: I can regard conflicts as a chance to change things or to create something new. In this case the essential term is ‘constructive conflict resolution’. Everyone can learn this kind of dealing with conflicts. This chapter provides you with ideas for practical exercises. The basic requirement for a successful conflict resolution lies in the identification of such conflicts. What is in fact a conflict? And what are the possible causes for it? Most definitions in specialist literature share the following identifying characteristics: • Two or more people have different opinions, desires, goals, values or behaviours, • which seem to be simultaneous, oppositional and incompatible, • the involved parties perceive the resulting situation as distressing, • it causes an urge to act and • a tendency of escalation. They usually evoke a feeling of fear in us, even though we should really see them as an opportunity, because conflicts make us aware of problems, deepen relationships, require creativity and further our personality. The first step to any form of constructive conflict resolution therefore lies in the realisation to perceive a conflict as an opportunity. The second step consists of conflict analysis. The causes for conflicts differ immensely, however they can usually be attributed to one of the following categories (cf. Klein 2002, p.10): 1. Different goals 2. Different assessments and evaluations of circumstances 3. Role dependencies and competence conflicts 4. Distribution and resource conflicts 5. Relationship conflicts Conflicts of intercultural and intergenerational kind frequently deal with differing evaluations and judgements. Every individual has different values, ideas and traditions depending on his original culture and age group. Furthermore, different groups are also prejudiced against other groups. However, Set of Methods 143
<strong>TRAMP</strong> – Transnational Mobility of Older People in Europe 144 Part II these prejudices can be overcome at an early stage through encounters and involvement with “the other side”. The third step to a constructive conflict resolution focuses on the joint search for solutions with all parties involved. Usually, there are several possible solutions. The real skill is finding an acceptable and implementable solution for all in a joint conflict-solving dialogue. Everybody is able to learn constructive conflict resolution. In the following, I would therefore like to outline several methods, which can be used to practise constructive conflict capabilities. The collection is merely an initial incentive, a complete account of conflict training would go beyond the scope of this presentation. The exercises are not arranged in an ascending order, they should rather be regarded as possible exercises within the scope of conflict training. Further reading: Klein, Hans-Michael: Konflikte am <strong>Arbeit</strong>splatz. Essen 2002 Berkel, Karl: Konfikttraining. Konflikte verstehen, analysieren, bewältigen. Frankfurt am Main 2008 Herzlieb, Hein – Jürgen: Konflikte lösen, Konfliktpotentiale erkennen – in Konfliktsituationen souverän reagieren. Method: Constructing a Tower of Chairs Goals/Options: • Identify how conflicts arise. • Realise that conflicts are normal. • Realise what conflicts are made of. • Initiate a definition of conflict. Brief description: The overall group is divided into two smaller groups. One group is requested to arrange as many chairs as possible in a circle; the other group is asked to pile as many chairs as possible on top of each other. Both groups are unaware of the other group’s task. Both groups begin their task as soon as the course leader gives the signal. Subsequent reflection: What happened? Who knew what the other group was up to? What possibilities were there to fulfil both tasks? (divide chairs; arrange circle first, then pile chairs...)? What was the conflict? Starting point: As an introduction to the conflict topic. Timeframe: 30 minutes Group size: 10-30 Necessary materials: Approx. 30 chairs
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Topic language and culture 1. Langu
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