AFTER VIOLENCE: 3R, RECONSTRUCTION, RECONCILIATION ...

hurt, or worse, fester.
But doesn't time heal all wounds? Beyond a certain age we
are all bereaved, having lost family members or friends. But we
adjust, with small wounds, mixed with bitter-sweet memories.
Unfortunately, that argument misses the point. Traumas divide
into acceptable and unacceptable; those caused by war, or violence
in general, are often unacceptable. Moreover, traumas divide into
individual (or primary group level) and collective; those caused
by violence may be individual, but those caused by war are
collective. Collective, unacceptable traumas would be the most
difficult to heal. Even collective sorrow may not do the job,
including turning against the common foe, war itself.
What is left for the conflict/peace worker would be to let
the negative argument enter the dialogue: " what will happen if
those traumas do not heal? The answer also depends on whether
you, individually or collectively, are on top of the traumas, not
rather than the traumas on top of you. On top they will not only
eat out your heart but be in command, running yours or the
nation's life, leading you into endless cycles of revenge. There
may be short-term healing to gain from that. But there is a party
on the other side with the same problem. Somebody has to break
that vicious cycle. This is the task of the strongest, like it is
the strongest who shouts least in an argument. That stronger one
is you. Do the superhuman, put the wound behind you, find your
guidance in the future, not the past."
Rebuilding: the development approach. Of course, after
destruction comes construction, and with construction come new
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