Crab Orchard Review Vol. 12, No. 2, our

Melanie Jennings
94 ◆ Crab Orchard Review
I Saw the Light
Sin was on my mind that summer, always in conjunction with
my older cousin, Jerry, his brown eyes somehow connected to the very
word, sin. It was before his baptism that things between us had started
to shift, but it was certainly after it that, finally, things began taking
the sinful and desperate turn I prayed for.
We had all waded into the Hekatchipac Creek where it gets waistdeep,
behind my Aunt Vena’s long, sloping yard, past where the barbed
wire runs across the water from Casper Redeye’s land. It was hot and
desert-dry that morning and we all wore shorts, but we were mentally
in the church state of mind. The water made swirls around our waists
and soaked into our T-shirts and Vena’s white dress. Everyone was
there, the entire family, and even step-gramma-Erma managed to
waddle her water-tower figure into the current somehow. We gathered
around solemnly, moving against the pressure of the water to form a
circle, each congregant reaching for his neighbor’s hand when Pastor
James commanded, so the praying could begin. Pastor, in his shorts
and Hekatchipac Youth Troop T-shirt smiled broadly, clearly excited
by the prospect of showing a young soldier-of-the-Lord the light
and the way through his baptism. Pastor began in his booming voice
by giving us all his Entering-the-Kingdom-of-the-Lord business with
some holy-holys and mercy-mercys thrown in here and there. For the
dunking, Jerry got new loose cotton shorts, a new white Hanes, and
he wore his usual turquoise ring shaped like a cross but which was
actually some kind of Indian symbol.
Pastor stood behind Jerry, his hands resting on Jerry’s shoulders.
“It is indeed a blessing of God, brothers and sisters, to be with
you this blessed, heavenly day, amongst the crusaders, and to offer
up yet another marcher to the Kingdom of the Lord,” Pastor began.
Jerry looked up to the summer sky in a gesture only I recognized as
desperation, as if the sun might save him. But it simply continued
to blaze down, too bright for the morning. The bamboo branches
that lined the shore cracked under the heat. Jerry squinted, trying to