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ed <strong>dwarf</strong> <strong>season</strong> <strong>three</strong> part one small black beetles: the overkill<br />
CAT: Look at that collar! You could go hang-gliding!<br />
LISTER: We used to think we were so cool. Come on!<br />
One of the first songs I ever wrote. It was called "Om".<br />
RIMMER: Nothing like a good old-fashioned love<br />
song, eh?<br />
LISTER: And to think I genuinely thought we were<br />
gonna be massive. God, I was stupid.<br />
RIMMER: Who are the other two?<br />
LISTER: The whacked-out, crazy, hippy drummer's<br />
called Dobbin. He joined the police force in the<br />
end. Became a grand wizard in the Freemasons. The<br />
bass is called Gazza. He was a neo-marxist, nihilistic,<br />
anarchist. Eventually joined a large insurance company<br />
and got his own parking space.<br />
YOUNG LISTER: Yeah! Rock and Roll! Thank you, thank<br />
you very much! And for those of you who are<br />
interested, there are official "Smeg and The Heads"<br />
T-shirts, and some signed polaroids of the band<br />
currently on sale in the back of Dobbings car. It's the<br />
orange Ford in the car park, the one with bald tires<br />
and no windscreen. Well, we'll be back in 20 minutes<br />
to play you our second set so from me, Smeg, and<br />
from Dobbin and Gazza, The Heads, I'll see you later.<br />
LISTER: I'll catch you guys later.<br />
KRYTEN: What is this place?<br />
RIMMER: It's a pub.<br />
KRYTEN: A "pub?" Ah yes, a meeting place where people<br />
attempt to achieve advanced states of mental<br />
incompetence by the repeated consumption of<br />
fermented vegetable drinks.<br />
LISTER: Guys, guys. I'd like you to meet me, aged 17.<br />
YOUNG LISTER: Shay-dee! This is totally shady! It's beyond<br />
shady -- it's surreal! These your mates, then?<br />
LISTER: Yeah. This is Cat, Kryten, and... Rimmer.<br />
YOUNG LISTER: Brilliant tattoo, man! What's it stand for?<br />
Heavy Metal?<br />
RIMMER: Yes, indeed.<br />
YOUNG LISTER: (spotting Kryten) Hey, what happened to<br />
him? His face -- it's grotesque, isn't it? Has he had an<br />
accident? He looks like he spent <strong>three</strong> weeks with his<br />
head jammed in a lift! It's totally shady!<br />
LISTER: Look, sit down and shut up!<br />
YOUNG LISTER: So how did you get here, what d'you<br />
want?<br />
LISTER: I've come to try and change your future.<br />
page 42
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