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ed <strong>dwarf</strong> <strong>season</strong> <strong>three</strong> part one small black beetles: the overkill<br />
SLEEPING QUARTERS.<br />
RIMMER: Lovely service, Lister! You should have come<br />
-- most uplifting! What's wrong with you? Ah, it's<br />
November! Nearly time for your bath!<br />
LISTER: Please just spare me the good mood? I just can't<br />
handle it right now. OK?<br />
RIMMER: What happened to you?<br />
LISTER: I'm sick of it, that's what. I'm just totally, totally<br />
sick of it.<br />
RIMMER: Sick of what?<br />
LISTER: I'm sick of you and your silly green suits, I'm sick<br />
of your stupid fla<strong>red</strong> nostrils. I'm sick of the way you<br />
always smile when you're being insulted. I'm sick of<br />
the Cat. I'm sick of Holly. I'm sick of you. I'm sick of<br />
me. And as for Kryten ... I'm sick of him. I'm sick of this<br />
ship, sick of this life. I'm just sick of it.<br />
RIMMER: You're unhappy, aren't you?<br />
LISTER: Joining the Space Corps -- that's when it all<br />
went wrong. If I didn't join up things could really<br />
have worked out for me.<br />
RIMMER: That's a tension sheet, isn't it? I went to school<br />
with the guy who invented tension sheets. Things<br />
certainly worked out for him all right. A millionaire at<br />
twenty-six! F<strong>red</strong> Holden -- he was in our dorm. God,<br />
he was thick. Thickie Holden, we used to call him:<br />
"Hello, Thickie! How's your acne, Thickie?" He always<br />
used to come bottom in geography. He thought a<br />
glacier was a bloke who fixed windows.<br />
LISTER: He can't have been that dense? I mean, he<br />
invented the tension sheet?<br />
RIMMER: It's just the stuff they used to use in packing<br />
paper. All he did was to paint it <strong>red</strong> and cut it into<br />
small squares. And you know who he married --<br />
Sabrina Mulholland-Jones.<br />
LISTER: The model?<br />
RIMMER: How can that be? The most desirable<br />
woman in the western hemisphere and Thickie Holden,<br />
a spotty little gimp who used to blow off the bedcovers<br />
every time we had cauliflower cheese!<br />
LISTER: He had a break. He got lucky.<br />
RIMMER: I suppose so. Did you go to school with<br />
anyone famous?<br />
LISTER: Charles Keenan. He was pretty famous.<br />
RIMMER: What did he do?<br />
LISTER: Ate his wife.<br />
page 38
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