red dwarf season three

ed dwarf season three part one small black beetles: the overkill
LISTER: What?
RIMMER: We could do a swap: my mind in your body,
yours in mine. You saw how easy it was with Brown.
Lend me your body for a few weeks and I'll get it fit
for you. Plenty of exercise, sensible diet, no more
booze, no more ciggies. It'll be like a 12 thousand mile
service for your body.
LISTER: What, and in the meantime I'm a hologram?
RIMMER: It won't be too bad if it's only for a couple of
weeks.
LISTER: You're talking as if it were a pare of hedge
trimmers or a lawn mower or something.
RIMMER: I'd give it back, I'd return it intact. More than
intact, it'd be fitter.
LISTER: Look, Rimmer, you are not having possession
of my body.
RIMMER: What are you worried about? How can I
treat it any worse than you do? You admit you don't
look after it, don't exercise it, don't feed it properly.
I would. What do you say?
LISTER: No welching.
RIMMER: Of course not.
LISTER: A fortnight.
RIMMER: 14 days.
LISTER: Two weeks.
RIMMER: Absolutely doodley.
LATER, IN SHOWER ROOM.
RIMMER: What's this under his nails? Oh my god! I'm
going to have this dirt carbon-dated.
SLEEPING QUARTERS.
KRYTEN: Luncheon, sir.
RIMMER: Food. Real food. To eat, perchance to taste.
KRYTEN: It's exactly as you ordered, sir: the lightly
poached mimmion bladder fish, the 4 dozen oysters,
the ducks feet in abalone sauce...
RIMMER: I can touch; I can taste; I can smell!
KRYTEN: Roast suckling pig stuffed with chestnuts and
truffles. Mashed potato.
RIMMER: With cream and butter?
KRYTEN: A pint of cream and a full pound of butter, sir.
RIMMER: Let the orgy begin.
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