red dwarf season three

ed dwarf season three part one small black beetles: the overkill
AUTO DESTRUCT: 55 seconds to detonation
BROWN: What's happening? What the hell is going
on?
RIMMER: Sir. There is no time to explain, but, by a
bizarre series of accidents the ship auto destruct
system has got switched on and we need you to
deactivate it.
BROWN: Something's wrong. Something feels different.
Wait a minute, I never used to be a man!
RIMMER: Look, you stupid women, we'll explain later.
BROWN: Why have I got male sexual organs?
RIMMER: If we don't override the autodestruct system
within the next 20 seconds those male sexual organs
will be in orbit around the nearest planet. Along with
everyone else's organs sexual or otherwise.
AUTO DESTRUCT: 15 seconds to detonation.
BROWN: Abort sequence X1X.
AUTO DESTRUCT: Identify.
BROWN: Carol Brown, executive officer, security
clearance 010101.
AUTO DESTRUCT: Pause for verification. Verification
rejected. Abort denied. Auto destruct sequence
continued. Detonation in 5 seconds.
RIMMER: Sen-smegging-sational
CAT: Well done, sphinx face.
RIMMER: What a brilliant, brilliant plan.
CAT: Just great.
AUTO DESTRUCT: 1. Initiate self destruct.
THE DISPENSING MACHINE SHOOTS OUT A MILK SHAKE AND A
CRISPY BAR.
AUTO DESTRUCT: Thank you for using the auto-serve
dispensing machines. Number one in quality. Number
one in taste.
CAT: What happened?
KRYTEN: It must have been wired up to the warning
system but not the bomb.
RIMMER: So where's the bomb?
HOLLY: We haven't got a bomb. I got rid of it ages ago.
CAT: Why didn't you say?
HOLLY: You never asked.
CAT: Fine, terrific. (to Kryten) But remember this: you're
getting my underwear bill, buddy.
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