red dwarf season three

ed dwarf season three part one small black beetles: the overkill
CONTROL ROOM.
RIMMER: I said, "Touch nothing." Didn't I say, "Touch
nothing?"
LISTER: Look, I just ordered a shake and a crispy bar.
CAT: You're lucky you didn't order a double cheese
burger!
AUTO DESTRUCT: Eight minutes, 20 seconds and counting.
LISTER: How do we switch it off?
HOLLY: The only person who can override the
autodestruct is the captain.
RIMMER: Dead.
HOLLY: Or one of the senior officers.
RIMMER: Dead.
HOLLY: In many ways I should have updated the
system really.
LISTER: Is there any way that we can trick the
machine into thinking one of us is the captain?
HOLLY: No. It checks his voice and brain scan against
its databanks.
AUTO DESTRUCT: Auto destruct in 8 minutes, 10 seconds
and counting.
RIMMER: Think of something please. You are
supposed to have an IQ of 6000. Think of
something.
HOLLY: I've been through the whole of my database,
collated every single option, and there are three
realistic alternatives. One: sit here and get blown up.
Two: Stand here and get blown up. Three: Jump up and
down, shout at me for not being able to think of
anything, then get blown up.
LISTER: There must be something.
KRYTEN: Perhaps we could try a mind swap?
LAB. LISTER IS TIED DOWN TO A CHAIR
KRYTEN: It's something we tried once on the Nova 5. It
uses exactly the same science as generating a
hologram. We wipe all your brain patterns and put
them on a storage disk. Then we transfer the
captaings mind from his hologram personality disk into
your empty brain.
LISTER: And you tried this on the Nova 5?
KRYTEN: Oh yes.
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