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ed <strong>dwarf</strong> <strong>season</strong> <strong>three</strong> part one small black beetles: the overkill<br />
Musketeers," we used to call ourselves. Well, "The<br />
Three Musketeers," actually -- they always let me be<br />
the Queen of Spain. Marvellous. I mean, yes, I was the<br />
butt of the occasional practical joke, but I mean,<br />
er, nothing sinister. Just the usual boyhood pranks,<br />
you know: apple-pied beds, and black-eyed telescope ...<br />
and, one time, they even hid a small land mine in my<br />
sand pit. They took it from my father's gun cabinet. I<br />
mean, how were they supposed to know it was<br />
going to go off? Marvellous guys.<br />
KRYTEN: Oh, and who's that, there? An old girlfriend, Mr<br />
Arnold, sir?<br />
RIMMER: Hardly.<br />
KRYTEN: Ah, no. Not really your type, I suppose -- silly<br />
old trout like that.<br />
RIMMER: She's my mother.<br />
KRYTEN: Oh! I am so sorry, sir!<br />
RIMMER: Just forget it.<br />
KRYTEN: Oh, how can I forget it, sir? I compa<strong>red</strong> your<br />
mother to a foolish, aged, blubbery fish! I said she<br />
was a simple-minded scaly old piscine! I estimated<br />
she was an ugly, lungless marine animal with galloping<br />
senility! A putrid amphibious gillbreather with less<br />
brains than a mollusc!<br />
RIMMER: Forget it! Freeze! There she is -- magnificent<br />
woman. Very prim, very proper. Some say austere.<br />
Some people took her for cold, thought she was<br />
aloof. Not a bit of it -- she just despised idiots; no<br />
time for fools. Tragic, really. Otherwise we would<br />
have got on famously.<br />
KRYTEN: Well, if you'll excuse me, sir, I'll go now --<br />
this is clearly a very private family moment. I've no fish<br />
to embarrass you further. I'll let myself trout.<br />
HOLLY: I don't want you to panic, Arn, but it does<br />
appear there's a very tiny possibility that there may<br />
very well in all likelihood possibly be a non-human<br />
life form on board.<br />
RIMMER: You mean like last time, when you got us all<br />
worked up and we went scooting off down to the<br />
cargo bay complete with bazookoids and backpacks,<br />
and it turned out to be one of Lister's socks?<br />
HOLLY: I didn't recognise the genetic structure.<br />
Biologically speaking, they were a completely new<br />
life form.<br />
RIMMER: Absolutely ridiculous! I felt the total goit.<br />
HOLLY: Well, I think you should take a butchers.<br />
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