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ed <strong>dwarf</strong> <strong>season</strong> <strong>three</strong> part one small black beetles: the overkill<br />
Polymorph<br />
VOICE: This week's "Red Dwarf" contains scenes which<br />
are unsuitable for younger viewers and people of a<br />
nervous disposition. You have been warned.<br />
A POD IS FLOATING THROUGH SPACE. SIGNS ON THE SIDE<br />
READ "GENETIC WASTE" AND "DO NOT OPEN."<br />
VOICE: Danger. Do not attempt to open this pod. The<br />
creature inside is extremely hostile. It feeds off the<br />
human psyche, seeks out the deranged, the<br />
unbalanced and the emotionally crippled.<br />
IN THE OFFICERS' QUARTERS, LISTER IS PREPARING A MEAL.<br />
KRYTEN: I just thought I'd give your quarters a<br />
quick tickle around, sir. I won't take a jiff.<br />
LISTER: Not now, Kryten -- I'm cooking.<br />
KRYTEN ATTACHES THE TUBE TO HIS GROIN AND BEGINS<br />
VACUUMING.<br />
LISTER: I didn't know you could do that!<br />
KRYTEN: Oh yes, I can plug a number of add-ons into<br />
my groinal socket, allowing me to perform virtually<br />
any household task imaginable.<br />
LISTER: Like what?<br />
KRYTEN: Oh, you name it: buzz saw, power drill, hedge<br />
trimmer ... even an egg whisk.<br />
LISTER: What, so you just, like, stick the egg whisk<br />
attachment on the end and you can, like, whip up a<br />
Spanish omelette?<br />
KRYTEN: I certainly can, sir, but it's amazing how few<br />
people are prepa<strong>red</strong> to eat them… Goodness me, I<br />
must have sucked up a penny. I'd better change<br />
the old bag there. Yes, I'll just go and get a fresh one.<br />
CAT: Mmm! Something smells good! What is it? It's me! I<br />
love this aftershave!<br />
LISTER: You are five minutes away from the greatest<br />
meal of your life, man, so set your tastebuds on<br />
Defcom 3!<br />
CAT: Hey, you've really made an effort here! Where'd<br />
you get all this stuff?<br />
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