COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK

ABB Lummus Global B.V.
COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK
COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY
Resolve Conflict
If you view conflict as something that should not happen, something that harms relationships,
it becomes negative. And then avoid it and hope it would go away. But if
you see conflict as a fact of life, an opportunity to strengthen relationships, you have a
way to resolving conflict by turning it into something creative.
Try these 10 ways to resolve conflict:
1. Agree on a mutually acceptable time and place to discuss the conflict.
2. State the problem as you see it and list your concerns.
o Make “I” statements.
o Withhold judgments, accusations, and absolute statements (“always” or
“never”).
3. Let the other person have his/her say.
o Do not interrupt or contradict.
o Do not allow name-calling, put-downs, threats, obscenities, yelling or intimidating
behavior.
4. Listen and ask questions.
o Ask fact-based questions (who? where? what? when? how?) to make sure
you understand the situation.
o Ask exploratory questions (what if? what are you saying? is this the only solution
to your problem? what if did such and such? are there other alternatives
to this situation?).
o Avoid accusatory “why” questions (why are you like that?).
o Use your own words to restate what you think the other person means and
wants.
o Acknowledge person’s feelings and perceptions.
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