PeopleSmart in Business eBook - The Platinum Rule
PeopleSmart in Business eBook - The Platinum Rule PeopleSmart in Business eBook - The Platinum Rule
4 One: The Platinum Rule second reason the Golden Rule can actually damage relationships. It implies all people want to be treated the same when, in fact, our preferences are not all alike. So application of this principle varies from one individual to the next based on their personality diff erences. Linda treats you as she wants to be treated Th e Golden Rule would work only in a perfect world where all of us were identical. But we’re not. For instance, Linda devoutly practices it, but it backfi res. She treats everybody alike. Th e world population is part of her extended Italian family. Linda is an exceptionally people-oriented, outgoing person. She’s so gregarious, when she goes to a restaurant, she greets the hostess and other patrons as though they’re in her kitchen. Anyone who makes eye contact with her is fair game. As she approaches a table of complete strangers, she typically says, ”Hello? My name is Linda. What’s yours? She joins in other people’s conversations. She doesn’t mind being asked personal questions. Readily and willingly misapplying the Golden Rule, she asks other people personal questions--whether they want to answer or not. “What is the special occasion?” Or, “What do you do for a living?” If we take a poll at that restaurant, half the people will probably think that Linda is wonderful, but the rest of them are likely to react or think diff erently. As well meaning and people-oriented as she is, she oft en unintentionally steps on people’s toes. She doesn’t want to, but. . . What has happened? Linda puts the Golden Rule into action and, by doing so, impresses some people and depresses others. Well, maybe she doesn’t exactly depress them, but heightens their tensions. By acting the way she likes to be treated, there are mixed reviews. When behaving from only her own perspective, she doesn’t take others’ preferences into account. Why not? Simply because it’s okay if strangers approach her
and ask about her intimate, private thoughts; so she naturally fi gures it’s okay for her to do the same thing. It’s true for the rest of us. If we don’t think fi rst of the other person, we run the risk of unintentionally imposing a tension-fi lled “win/lose” or “lose/lose” relationship on them. The Platinum Rule We believe in refi ning Th e Golden Rule to take into consideration the feelings of the other person. Notice, we don’t say break the rule. We redefi ne it into the Platinum Rule--”Do unto others as they want to be done unto.” Treat others the way they want to be treated. By “platinum,” we don’t mean to imply “better.” We simply want to capture the true spirit or actual intention of the Golden Rule so we consider and respond appropriately to the other person’s needs. We can learn to treat diff erent people diff erently, according to their needs, not ours. Th at leads to greater understanding and acceptance. Remember the famous TV show, “All in the Family?” “Edith do you know why we can’t communicate? Because I’m talking in English and you’re listening in dingbat!” Well, maybe Archie Bunker could benefi t from learning how to communicate in “dingbat”! Th en, he could mentally change places with Edith to understand her expectations instead of just his own. Every day we face the potential for confl ict or success with diff erent types of people. Confl icts are inevitable, but the outcome from how you handle dissension is much more controllable. At the very least, you can manage your end of it. You can choose to treat somebody from his perspective, the way he wants to be treated by modifying your own behavior; or you can choose to meet only your own needs- -facing consequences such as dissatisfaction, frustration, confusion, and distress. It’s up to you. 5
- Page 2 and 3: People Smart: In Business Copyright
- Page 5: Dedications From Tony Alessandra: T
- Page 9: Table of Contents I Introduction 1
- Page 12 and 13: II Introduction DISCstyles model. I
- Page 14 and 15: IV Introduction Consequently, they
- Page 16: VI Introduction Th is is a reader-f
- Page 20 and 21: 2 One: The Platinum Rule near her.
- Page 24 and 25: 6 One: The Platinum Rule Modify you
- Page 26: 8 One: The Platinum Rule Most of th
- Page 30 and 31: 12 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 32 and 33: 14 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 34 and 35: 16 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 36 and 37: 18 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 38 and 39: 20 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 40 and 41: 22 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 42 and 43: 24 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 44 and 45: 26 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 46 and 47: 28 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 48 and 49: 30 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 50 and 51: 32 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 52 and 53: 34 Two: I Know Who You Are, But Wha
- Page 55 and 56: Chapter 3 How Will You Know One Whe
- Page 57 and 58: Direct people are faster paced, mor
- Page 59 and 60: What sort of feedback do you suppos
- Page 61 and 62: Some are more, some less It is impo
- Page 63 and 64: (I) Likely to reserve the expressio
- Page 65 and 66: to stand further away from you, eve
- Page 67 and 68: Ranges of behavior Whether a person
- Page 69 and 70: To identify a person’s behavioral
- Page 71 and 72: Th e second participant speaks with
and ask about her <strong>in</strong>timate, private thoughts; so she naturally fi gures it’s<br />
okay for her to do the same th<strong>in</strong>g. It’s true for the rest of us. If we don’t<br />
th<strong>in</strong>k fi rst of the other person, we run the risk of un<strong>in</strong>tentionally impos<strong>in</strong>g<br />
a tension-fi lled “w<strong>in</strong>/lose” or “lose/lose” relationship on them.<br />
<strong>The</strong> Plat<strong>in</strong>um <strong>Rule</strong><br />
We believe <strong>in</strong> refi n<strong>in</strong>g Th e Golden <strong>Rule</strong> to take <strong>in</strong>to consideration<br />
the feel<strong>in</strong>gs of the other person. Notice, we don’t say break the rule.<br />
We redefi ne it <strong>in</strong>to the Plat<strong>in</strong>um <strong>Rule</strong>--”Do unto others as they want<br />
to be done unto.” Treat others the way they want to be treated. By<br />
“plat<strong>in</strong>um,” we don’t mean to imply “better.” We simply want to capture<br />
the true spirit or actual <strong>in</strong>tention of the Golden <strong>Rule</strong> so we consider<br />
and respond appropriately to the other person’s needs. We can<br />
learn to treat diff erent people diff erently, accord<strong>in</strong>g to their needs, not<br />
ours. Th at leads to greater understand<strong>in</strong>g and acceptance.<br />
Remember the famous TV show, “All <strong>in</strong> the Family?”<br />
“Edith do you know why we can’t communicate? Because I’m talk<strong>in</strong>g<br />
<strong>in</strong> English and you’re listen<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> d<strong>in</strong>gbat!” Well, maybe Archie<br />
Bunker could benefi t from learn<strong>in</strong>g how to communicate <strong>in</strong> “d<strong>in</strong>gbat”!<br />
Th en, he could mentally change places with Edith to understand<br />
her expectations <strong>in</strong>stead of just his own.<br />
Every day we face the potential for confl ict or success with diff erent<br />
types of people. Confl icts are <strong>in</strong>evitable, but the outcome from how<br />
you handle dissension is much more controllable. At the very least,<br />
you can manage your end of it. You can choose to treat somebody<br />
from his perspective, the way he wants to be treated by modify<strong>in</strong>g<br />
your own behavior; or you can choose to meet only your own needs-<br />
-fac<strong>in</strong>g consequences such as dissatisfaction, frustration, confusion,<br />
and distress. It’s up to you.<br />
5
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