PeopleSmart in Business eBook - The Platinum Rule

pattern, or group of recurring habits, resulting from the way you typically
do things—the way you deal with people and situations. It’s your
comfortable method of behaving, most of the time, when you relax
and just act yourself.
Oft en, when we do what comes naturally we alienate others without
realizing it. Why? Because that same behavior may not be natural
for them. If we want to get along with our friends, family and loved
ones, it’s essential we become aware of our natural tendencies—and
their natural preferences! Th en we can defuse extreme behaviors
before we sabotage ourselves. We do this by temporarily using behavioral
modifi cation to change only our own behavior so the other
person feels comfortable. When this happens, tension lessens and
cooperation zooms.
Your technique of interacting with people succeeds when you receive
and heed their external signals; it fails when you ignore and
cross them. Of course, everyone experiences the same basic human
needs, but each of us ranks some needs higher than others.
When you understand something about your own habitual style and
how it diff ers from others’ styles, you can modify your approach to
get on the same wavelength with them. Th e ideas you present don’t
change. But you can change the way you present those ideas. And people
will teach you how to treat them if you’re willing to discover their
unique signals.
For example, one type of person measures his success by results. Th ey
head for the fi nished product and the bottom line. Th ey’ll do whatever
it takes, within reason, to get the job done. In fact, their natural response
to what they view as other people’s lack of accomplishment is, “Don’t
just sit around wasting time! Get busy!” Th ey need achievements.
Another type places high value on recognition and measures success
by the amount of acknowledgment and praise they receive.
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